Is this unreasonable?

Part of me feels embarrassed to post about this, but if you’ve seen a bit of my other posts you already know my home life isn’t too good. My dad is abusive and a very disgusting person who does not even deserve to be called a father. As much as I love my mom and we’ve gotten much closer, it would be a joke to say my mom isn’t neglectful, and our home is in very bad shape as I’ve stated before. One of the things neglected in this house is privacy, as during a fight my parents had broke down the bathroom door, and have yet to fix it. This was months ago mind you, maybe even going on a year. We still have no bathroom door and there’s only a blanket covering it, and even though I’ve told my mom multiple times how uncomfortable it makes me, nothing seems to get done about it. Originally she said she was going to get it fixed, but now she repeats “we’re getting out of this” (assuming she means moving away and divorcing my father which has been the plan for sometime) part of this makes me feel so angry with her, because while yes I absolutely despise my dad, the houses condition is primarily my moms fault, and she takes no responsibility for it. I won’t say the door was entirely her fault it was more of a 50/50 thing, but the rest of the house minus the holes from my dad punching the walls, IS her fault. As I said previously, me and her have gotten much closer with the reason advents that have happened, but it still bothers me very badly. Is this unreasonable?

Carole Mac

Date posted: 5d

I don’t want to mistakenly give you reassurance but I grew up in similar conditions. And just want to say you’re not alone. I’m sorry you’re going through all that.

barbrnhr22

Date posted: 5d

I don’t think this is unreasonable at all. You’ve noticed a lapse in her accountability, even if it’s just based off of your opinion. Based on what you have said, you are completely justified in feeling this way. I am sorry it has been so difficult and that you are going through this.

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 5d

It is a tragedy when kids are abused. And there sounds like a lot of neglect too. You are not unreasonable at all. I'm so so sorry:(:(:(

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 5d

If your dad is abusive, do you want to report him?

sweetkay

Date posted: 5d

@Tea and Honey My moms working at the moment on trying to get a divorce, and even though I can’t stand him, I feel very scared to report

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 5d

@sweetkay You have a right to report. Can I ask how abusive he is?

sweetkay

Date posted: 2d

@Tea and Honey I know I have the right to but I’m still nervous about it, I grew up thinking nothing was wrong with it. He can be quite bad on some days, but his verbal abuse is an almost everyday thing with atleast me or my mom

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 2d

@sweetkay It totally makes sense that if you grow up with it that it would feel like it wasn't that bad. However, it is not okay. No one should put up with abuse. You don't have to do anything yourself. All you have to do is to talk to teacher or someone at your school. They will report it for you. Have you ever considered that? :):)

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 2d

@Tea and Honey Is he physically or sexually abusive? If he is, you have you got to get help and support! You cant allow him to continue that

sweetkay

Date posted: 2d

@Tea and Honey Physically yes sexually no, and I’m not allowing him I’m only a teenager and I already feel alot guilt for growing up around it, I promise I’m trying

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 2d

@sweetkay Oh!! I am so sorry!! I didn't mean that it's up to you to get him to stop!! So sorry! This has to be so hard for you!! :(:(:( I can't even imagine!! It's not your fault if he is doing these things!!! You are not at fault at all💙 I just meant that if he is reported that someone else will get him to stop. In that way, people from the outside would step in and deal with him. Are you scared to report him because you think he would take revenge on your family and hurt you? Or are you scared to report him because the general idea seems scary? Or other reasons?

sweetkay

Date posted: 2d

@Tea and Honey I’m scared of what he’d do, but I also feel guilty because he’s my dad, even if he doesn’t act like it

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 2d

@sweetkay I totally hear what you are saying. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. The school and the teachers are there to support you through any of the difficult things at home. I hope that they would step up to that. If you talk to a teacher (or school counselor) that you trust, it's their job to help you and your family. Who knows? Maybe in the long run, it will also be helpful for your dad. In this way, the things that are in the darkness can be brought to light, and he can get help too. I'm not trying to step too much into your personal life. But I am really worried about you. Do you want to share the things that he has been doing? I really want to make sure that you are taken care of.

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