OCD and what to do

Hello my name is Holden :) im new here and ive been feeling a but horrible lately i got diagnosed with ocd and depression ocd being of course the primary part, im from colombia 🇨🇴, ive been experiencing these symptoms since i was a kid first from order, then moral, then sexuality then relationship ocd and all of them still haunt me very much sometimes I dont know what to do and i feel wierd like im a phenomenon cause i just cant asimilate my thoughts with good ones and i cant but simply cant live with uncertainty its so frusterating and i could go on and on but thats just a little about me a little i tro i gues :/ but what ive learned is that ocd graves on to what is most important to you at the moment of your life and that to me right now is my relationship i cant control my compulsiones or obsesions, wandering if im unloyal or if im a bad person ( which has always happened and i cant get over with), why if i dont love my girl enough, im scared of losing control, of being someone im not, i feel bad for looking at atractive people becausebi dont want to and i wish i didnt have attraction meter bit just for my girlfriend, i get so anxoius about my sexual life with her cause i want her so bad, its like in the bottom i know i want her and only her but my thoughts say the complete oposite and i hate it i just want them to leave me alone, but yes i guess that what i have until now :/

Tea and Honey

Date posted: Yesterday

Welcome to the group!!! It's great to meet you!!! I'm so sorry. OCD is so hard. The good news is that you are not alone!!! Everyone with OCD has thoughts like you do. It's VERY NORMAL to have all those thoughts with OCD. I think many people on this app feel the same way you do, and lots of them suffer from the same current theme you have. Have you tried ERP therapy?? It can make a big difference! One of the most important tenants of ERP is learning that we need to ALLOW the thoughts. If we try to fight them off, it just makes them worse. Instead, we need to learn to allow them to run freely in our brains while we go forward in our lives. My therapist explained it like this: Imagine a tree planted by a river. The leaves fall off the tree and float down the river. You don't pick them up. You don't fight them off. You just watch them float down the river. We need to do the same with our thoughts. We don't need to fight them off. We don't need to fix them. We just need to allow them to float down the river of our minds. :):) I'm here to talk if you have any questions. :)

Holden Guerrero

Date posted: Yesterday

@Tea and Honey Thank you so much I really appreciate the time to respond, i would love to talk !

Tea and Honey

Date posted: Yesterday

@Holden Guerrero I'm right here. What is bothering you? Symptoms?

Holden Guerrero

Date posted: Yesterday

Thanks, I have all the tupes in my profile :) but the Maine one are perfectionism, relationship, morality pure ocd, existencial and false memory ocd, i feel like lately the obsesión taking time away is the relationship type cause i cant seem to get over the idea of me being unfaithful i hate it i just cant stand that idea like sien thing normal in human biology is to notice attraction, and i cant handle it it makes me feel unfaithful, then that makes me think many things like “im turning into some one else” or “im a bad person” or “what if I dont live them enough” etc etc and forward i hate having this condition but sometimes i gues i know its just me, im sorry for ranting so much

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