For those of you with harm OCD

I used to, years ago. I went from severe severe severe harm ocd, to basically close to zero today. (I still have severe ocd, but I got the harm theme under control.) I also became a hunter this year, it is something I could never imagine during a flare up. I remember I used to feel so scared all the time, but there is a way out of it, you will find it and come out wiser and more self loving.

When I’ve dealt with this theme, yes. You’re certainly not the only one. I think most people with OCD will live in a constant state of fear at some points or all the time depending on the thoughts, intensity, feared outcomes, and whether or not they’re in treatment. It’s temporary though. Let it pass. There is hope. You deserve to live a safe, secure and fear free life ❤️

Yeah for sure :( wishing you the best

I used to Yes all the time, it got worse when I was conscripted to military at 18 when I came back I had harm ocd, ptsd completely took over Every waking second felt like walking a razor’s edge. I couldn’t be near women, children, or old people without my brain screaming that I was about to hurt them. I’d see a kid on the sidewalk and my mind would instantly flash to graphic, unbearable images of me causing harm, I stopped going anywhere during the day. I only left the house after midnight, hood up, head down, to buy groceries from the 24-hour store that didn’t ask questions. Even then I’d stand at the end of aisles until the place was empty. Driving became torture. I couldn’t grip the wheel without imagining the car veering, tires screeching, bodies under the hood. I’d pull over shaking, convinced I’d already done it. Same with motorcycles every throttle twist felt like I was about to plow into a pedestrian. So I stopped driving altogether. I locked myself in my room for months. Curtains taped shut. Door bolted. The only light was the blue glow from my phone screen. I started drinking heavily, popping whatever pills I could get anything to drown the noise in my head. The substances didn’t fix anything; they just made the days blur into one long, gray smear. I’d wake up soaked in sweat from nightmares that felt more real than the room around me screams, explosions, blood on my hands and then spend the rest of the day trying to convince myself I hadn’t murdered anyone in my sleep. Even the smallest things turned into triggers. Picking up a fork or knife at dinner made my hand freeze suddenly I was picturing driving the blade into my own throat, or someone else’s. I started eating with my hands or not eating at all. Showers were another hurdle I’d stand under the water staring at the drain, convinced I’d slit my wrists right there. Razors went in the trash. Belts, shoelaces, anything that could become a noose disappeared. To make it worse my country was in a political wave and hated every establishment cops, military anyone with a government uniform They spat, shoved and pushed us restaurants didn’t serve us, shop owners banned us, landlords tore up applications when they saw military ID. So I stayed inside. No help came therapy waitlists were years long Meds got denied or priced out of reach even any therapists instead of helping blamed me and threatened me to turn me over to authorities. Isolated myself I was ghost in my own life I withdrew from society all together. So you’re not alone hang in there you’ll be past this