ROCD or relationship issues?

ROCD maybe? So obviously I have OCD and my main theme right now is rocd. I will say I have trust issues and I feel like my trust is constantly broken in some form, in each relationship I’m in. Well I’m in my healthiest relationship now (never even had one remotely as healthy) and sometimes it’s triggering for me. My biggest thing right now is my bf and I have been together for 7 months, we are 27, and he hasn’t made our relationship publicly acknowledged on social media. I do know that posting can’t be tit for tat, and I understand some people want to keep relationships private. He said he has never really posted his SO’s in the past. He just says he’s always been private that way. Well I would say that’s fine because I can respect that but I’ve noticed that he’s been liking girls pics (I went through his ig and fb friends and probably shouldn’t have) and of course now I’m anxious. Had a convo with him a couple days ago and he said he would stop liking pics and he would make his relationship status official on Facebook. He hasn’t done so yet and that’s what makes me nervous. I don’t want to sound controlling when talking to him but I don’t feel respected

HumanCaprisu...

Date posted: 2d

I relate to having ROCD. My major triggers are me obsessing over whether or not my feelings are actually genuine or not. I think you took a great step to talk to him about how you feel. Breathe and reassess the things that you can control in your life when things feel out of control!!

Anonymous

Date posted: 2d

It takes a lot to share and be vulnerable with your personal life. So, thank you for sharing what you're going through. Relationships have been so tough for me with my ocd. I go through obsessive worries about me screwing up a good thing, or being unlovable, my brain tells me "you're so shallow you'll never find anyone", I obsessively worry if I'm attracted to the person I'm with or attaching meaning to the thoughts that tell me if I'm attracted to other people than I must not be in the right relationship. The list goes on unfortunately lol. All that to say, and OCD aside. If IM not feeling valued, supported, met with the same intensity, met with similar communication or if im not feeling like the person I'm with is CHOOSING me, then it's time I have a hard conversation about what my needs are. How your partner responds will tell you everything you need to know. I have learned that boundaries/communication are supposed to bring people CLOSER. Not further. And eventually I had to look at myself internally and ask: " why am I so attracted to the person who ghosts me or promises they will do something and never follows through" It was something I had to take control of and accountability for. I can't control what my partner does. I can control having hard conversations though about what I need. Having needs doesn't mean we are bad people. It just means we have, NEEDS lol. As a caveat: having this conversation does open the door for rejection, however a reframe for that I use is, this just brings me closer to finding the person I want in my life. Hope this helped! you're worthy of a relationship full of love and kindness!

emmjarrr

Date posted: Yesterday

Thank you beautiful saints for your impactful words. It makes me so happy to be a human on the same earth as you guys. Sending my support out there for every step of your journey 🥰

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