Attraction and ROCD

YES… I could write a novel on this of my own experiences. Some of which are happening as we speak with my boyfriend. Trust me, you are not alone. I just had an episode now which led me to download this app, which led me right to your post. ❤️ For me, step one was identify my triggers and see if there is a link between protection/defense mechanism and my nervous system being dysregulated. For example, think about the moments where you didn’t feel safe and wanted to leave and consider whether or not it’s your bodys way of protecting you from harm and if there’s a real perceived threat present. This one can be kind of tricky because our minds can paint a very convincing pictures sometimes. One thing that helped was thinking of things that challenge those thoughts. Like things your partner does that tell you otherwise of what you’re thinking isn’t true. Step two is consider how my body felt during these moments. Did i feel restless? Heart racing? Body clenching? Racing thoughts? Questions without answers? Or did I feel sure and calm? This can be a sign of a decision being made out of fear versus a decision made out of careful thought. Identify those somatic symptoms and remember them for when you feel this way. Even if you have to write them all down and go through a checklist whenever you feel this way so you can see it on paper. One of the best things that I did was try to bring the internal to my external as much as I could. Step three has been the hardest. Putting it into action. Taking the step back when I am in the midst of an episode. Recognizing when my nervous system is dysregulated and taking a pause to try to regulate and re-center. Trying not to rely on my partners reassurance to bring me back to a place of safety. Because guess what? We are always safe to begin with because we take care of ourselves. No matter what, we will be OK. We’ve come this far in life, and we need to learn to trust ourselves and our own judgment. Even if we fail, we are still here. We can rebuild. We can restart. Whether it works out or not, we will still be us and we will be ok. I promise. I stand with you and I believe in you. ❤️