real event ocd issues

going through something kinda similar. breathe and be gentle with yourself :) ocd guilt can make you panic and replay events nonstop while real guilt feels reasonable for the situation and you know something happened. i have a mix of both for my real event/false memory OCD. if you feel like telling your partner will take some weight off of you, go for it! you don’t have to recall every detail perfectly. just make it clear that your OCD clouds your memory and it’s harder for you to fully remember things. i’m sure your partner will understand. i’m just learning how to help regulate symptoms with ERP exercises. label the thoughts as OCD, allow the feeling, refocus. we all make mistakes, we’re human. ♡

Ok, let's acknowledge that you are in an OCD spiral. That's ok. I've been there a lot. There's two things to do when you are in this spiral. 1.) Would it help to share the real event here? We could talk about it and work through it. 2.) Practice ERP. Right now you are in the middle of an exposure that you did not plan. That's okay:):) I have unplanned exposures every day. You feel like you need to confess (which is probably a compulsion), but you have the choice to "ride out" the anxiety and not confess. My advice is that you do not confess or try to remember more details. (Trying to remember just causes ENDLESS rumination.) And then you need to go on living your life (even though you still feel anxiety). I call this "swimming parallel". The idea/picture is someone swimming parallel to the seashore. They really wish that they were walking on the nice smooth sand of the seashore. But instead, they're swimming through the windy waves and cold water. However, they are still going to get to their destination, a few miles down the shore, whether they are walking or whether they are swimming. When I'm in a spiral, I feel terrible inside. I have physical feelings of anxiety that run through my chest and sometimes more of my body. I literally feel like my life could be over. But I still try to go about doing the dishes, and going to the store, and going to my children's sport's events, etc. This is how I "swim parallel". I'm still doing the same things, but it's just a little harder to do them. In your case, my advice is for you to do what you would normally do for the next four days. Read a book, or go out to coffee, or whatever. Yes, you will feel terrible inside. (And it's OK to engage in a little extra self-care during these times because you feel bad inside.) But you need to practice going and doing these things, despite the fact that you feel icky. I've learned that the feelings don't mean anything. If the icky feelings want to show up and hang out all day, then that's OK. Icky feelings are welcome to be there. However, I can choose to keep moving about my day. I'm practicing ERP when I refuse to engage in the compulsions (like confessing), but continue to do the regular things that I would do anyway. Do you think this would help you? What are your thoughts? Let's work through this together. I know how it feels to really not know what to do. I know how painful OCD can be. Let's talk through your situation. I'm right here. Also, remember this: This difficult exposure for you will make you stronger in the end. This is because once you learn to conquer this, you will conquer a lot more areas in your OCD. Eventually, you will get better and better.