did I abuse my cat? genuine question.

i have an elder cat that is so loud and has a very annoying meow. He doesn't understand personal space at all. A while ago i wanted to sleep but he kept jumping on my bed bothering me no matter how many times i would get him off the bed. Eventually after he kept doing it over and over again i felt disrespected and i got pissed off and i picked him up very quickly and a bit roughly, in the sense that i didn't pick him up slowly and gently by supporting his legs, only by his armpits and he is a bit of an overweight cat, so im afraid it hurt him; what makes it worse is that i knew i should have supported his legs, but i was so tired and frustrated that I impulsively did the "not nice" way. Then for a second in my brain i felt like punishing him, an intrusive kind of voice "hold him still in air as punishment", and i did that as a test i think, I self sabotaged myself into carrying out that order, and I held him in air for a second and immediately felt horrible and put him back in the floor again. The very moment I picked him up in air i immediately felt bad and any ounce of anger was gone, just horror for what I did. I felt like I did something unforgivable and irreversible. For some time I reassured myself thinking that i didn't hurt him, at most he had a meow of discomfort, and at worst he would have felt slight discomfort. Now I googled and apparently i hurt him. Lifting an overweight cat only by his armpits will hurt him no matter what. I feel evil and like an animal abuser. Maybe I am. I've never harmed my cat physically outside of possibly this event. I don't have a lot of patience but I force it upon me, so whatever annoying thing they do i suppress it all the time and i try to treat them with care, I was left to deal with 3 cats alone all by myself in a tiny apartment and sometimes is overwhelming.

Em🦑

Date posted: 2d

Every pet owner ever has done something slightly out of frustration before, hurting their animal. I know it’s very hard and I’m so sorry this is making you feel terrible but I think a lot of people would have done the same. You were tired, just wanted the cat to move and moved him quickly and held him a second longer than you needed to. You did not badly hurt your cat I can assure you! And this is coming from a cat owner of 5🤣! You’re doing a good job!❤️

ivefailed.

Date posted: 2d

thank you, but im afraid i might have sugarcoated with my words what happened. my cat is a fat cat so lifting him up while i was laying in my bed means i would have put a lot of pressure on his armpits + the weight of his whole body on him dangling in the air. it must have been a bit painful for him.

Em🦑

Date posted: 2d

@ivefailed. I know exactly what you mean!! And yes it could’ve hurt some in the moment, but ever parent makes mistakes. Did your mom ever accidentally bump your head as a kid or accidentally bump into you? I’m just saying that we’ve all done things before like this and you are not alone in this and you are not a terrible person for this happening!! I can promise you your cat isn’t still thinking about this☺️!

ivefailed.

Date posted: 17h

@Em🦑 i can't forgive myself. i knew it wasn't the optimal way to lift my slightly overweight cat yet I did it anyway for frustration and lack of patience. Then I heard this voice in my mind, a malicious command: "held him there in the air", and so I impulsively did it for a second, and i don't really remember well but i could see i think all his weight drooping and putting a strain on his armpits as if he were falling down. I felt like a monster in that moment and I still feel that way.

Mimi :P

Date posted: 2d

You didn’t abuse your cat. You acted quickly and it’s not like you were wanting to cause him pain. It may have caused him discomfort and that’s not great but he will forgive you. Keep trying hard because animals are just trying their best and he probably just wants attention and comfort. Forgive yourself and never do it again. Animals don’t understand the concept of respect and disrespect and are just going about their routine. Cats also don’t respond well to negative reinforcement, so “punishing” him will only make him scared and not trust you. You can always earn that trust back.

ivefailed.

Date posted: 2d

Thanks a lot for the advice. That was a long time ago and my cat is a very affectionate cat and sleeps on my chest/shoulder regularly. Even after I did that not even after an hour he acted like nothing happened to him. I never did negative reinforcement to my cats, never punished them, it's the only time I happened to do that by following my brain thought and impulse and I felt immediately sickening. I hated my father and my brother when they punished my cats. Right now i only limit myself to shouting or hitting the wall whenever he keeps meowing at the door loudly and incessantly at night, but that's only because he does it for hours and i literally need to sleep alone, and those meows make me feel anxious a lot.

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