How do you let yourself sit with anxiety?

I do a lot of ACT when I’m in it. Currently in one right now at the airport because traveling makes me anxious. Instead of fighting it or even white knuckling I try and say “maybe my anxiety will get so bad I have a panic attack and pass out OR maybe not” and then continue on with what I’m doing. It takes a while but does help. I also try and do breathing exercises, walking, shaking my hands (I feel like it helps release some nervous energy), etc. more of the somatic stuff in the moment.

I like the “RAIN” method — it stands for recognize, allow, investigate, nurture. There’s more info here: https://www.tarabrach.com/rain-practice-radical-compassion/ In the early days of therapy, it really helped me identify and allow what I was feeling. A similar tool I like is to (1) name what I’m feeling and acknowledge it’s difficult, (2) remind myself that I’m not alone in feeling this, and (3) remind myself to be compassionate toward myself. Ex: “I’m feeling anxious and this is really hard. And it’s okay that it’s hard. There are other people with OCD who are probably feeling just like this right now, I’m not alone. Let’s be gentle with myself while I go through this” The overall goal is not to get rid of emotions, it’s to observe what is there and be kind to myself. I’m also a big fan of mindfulness and meditation. I’ve also gotten to a point in therapy where sometimes I can feel the feeling and keep doing whatever I was doing — I don’t have to stop and do one of these exercises in order to allow the feeling — but I had to work my way up to that. Hope that helps a bit — happy to clarify anything. ❤️

I just learned a technique that really stuck with me and I really like. It says “TRYING TO STOP YOUR THOUGHTS IS LIKE TRYING TO STOP THE RAIN.” When it’s raining outside, we look out the window and go ‘Oh, it’s raining.’ We don’t analyze why it’s raining and what we can do to stop the rain, prob cuz we know that would be a colossal waste of energy. So when I find myself getting caught in an obsessive loop, I say to myself “Oh, it’s raining.” I literally imagine that it’s raining and wait for it to pass, cuz it (rain) always does. I hope this made sense.

In "sitting with anxiety" there's two parts that can be difficult for me. One is not doing (mental) compulsions. To address this i tell myself that what im experiencing is OCD. This mentally frames the urge as a panic like desire for control. I tend to focus my "maybe, maybe nots" around this idea of control ("maybe doing x,y,z will keep me safe, maybe not"). Which will make me feel worse but lessens the grip compulsion urges has. This works better for me than outcomes based maybe, maybe nots ("maybe everyone will laugh at me, maybe not") but is more distress inducing so follow what you're therapist advises. My second struggle with "sitting in anxiety " is with not knowing what to place my attention on once the compulsion urge calms. For this I do a form of body scan. I try to find the distress in my body and focus on it ("oh my forearms are tight", "oh my chest is tight"). I my attention on it (and other sensations) until it goes away or until the anxiety level feels like I don't need to try to fix it and then I find something ego-synotic to do. I'll note that often the anxiety turns into sadness for me. I treat the sadness the same.

I envision it as a wave crashing through me. Have you ever dived into a wave and it’s calm because you aren’t getting hit by it? That’s the metaphor I use. I literally just let the thoughts and panic hit me. I know it’s going to go away, you just have to have moments of anguish. I also take it one day at a time when I have flare ups.