When the thoughts won't go away and you're so afraid they will last forever. I'm trying non engagement responses as much as I can but I'm so tired. Would love to hear what helps you all.
Just know it will eventually pass. I know how hard it is, but the cycle never lasts forever. OCD is not fair.
@#happiness Thank you. I'm struggling because the same thought has been going on for going on 4 weeks. It seems these difficult thoughts go on for weeks and don't go away until another disturbing thought replaces it. Hoping this time it will pass without another thought replacing it. But it is what it is. I can't control my thoughts and I have to accept that.
@mberri I completely understand. I’ve been on the same thing for quite sometime too. It comes and goes. I never know when it’s going to stick.
@#happiness It's hard. Sorry to hear you're struggling too. It helps to know I'm not alone though.
@mberri You are never alone. It’s so hard and it’s so not fair.
@#happiness Agree. It's so hard knowing how unfair it is, I get so angry that this is not fair and why is this happening to me, but that line of thinking never helps and I just get so frustrated.
@mberri I completely understand … after I got pregnant it all went down hill and I accidentally got pregnant back to back. I ended up divorced bc of how bad the ocd got and now I’m living w my parents and only see my kids every other weekend. It’s not fair what ocd has robbed me of. I try to focus on the good but it feels like there isn’t much good. I also struggle w depression and my ocd is treatment resistant. Sorry for the rant.
@#happiness I'm sorry you went through that, that sounds incredibly hard. But you are also very strong. I feel you though, I'm in a different situation, but I'm also living with my parents and struggling with depression as well. When the OCD gets really bad I get really depressed. It can be hard to see light at the end of the tunnel. But I just have to keep pushing through when it's hard because the only alternative is giving up and I won't let OCD make me give up. Wish you all the best.
It's important to learn to stay in uncertainty and in the present. Are you in therapy with a trained OCD therapist who uses ERP therapy?
@Steven55! Yes, I'm in a 12 week long PHP/IOP program for OCD using ERP. It's helped a lot for a lot of my compulsions but with ones that are mostly mental compulsions it's really hard. I'm trying to use the skills but it's so hard not to get depressed when my OCD is attacking things I love like my hobbies to the point where I'm scared whether I will ever enjoy them again. Specifically my worst intrusive thought right now is what if I never enjoy music again. It's horrible.
It's common for OCD to flare up early in your therapy, which is where you are. Very common. You're trying to unravel the malware in your brain and it's a messy process. It takes time and hard work. Keep at it and don't get discouraged. You will eventually see noticeable improvement.
@Steven55! Thank you. I'm in week 8 of 12 so it's frustrating that things are getting so hard now. But I understand I'm still relatively at the beginning of my healing journey since it's my first time doing ERP. My therapist did say that these pathways in my brain formed after several years of having OCD, so they aren't going to undo themselves overnight. I need to be more patient and gentle with myself. Appreciate your replies.
Oh, there were times when I sat down and cried like a baby early on, but I kept plugging and the ERP paid off. It will for you, too.
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