im looking into finding an ERP therapist (not through this app I'm afraid- it doesn't take my insurance) but im worried that it might only help with external stuff. one of my friends who also has OCD said that that was their experience too.
A compulsion is a compulsion đ Itâs treated, and effective, the exact same.
ERP can definitely help with mental compulsions. You just have to be quite honest with your therapist-and yourself- and actually practice the methods, which can feel silly at first (because itâs a lot of self talk). It works, but you have to be dedicated to mastering the tools. It helps to have a fully trained therapist. Not everyone is trained the same way.
Sorry for the unrelated response, but if you know any, could you share some of the methods you've learned? I've been using maybe maybe not for thoughts and whenever I catch myself thinking too hard about physical sensations
@pinboing I used to say the following in relation to sexual orientation ocd: âI may or may not ever have certainty about my sexual orientation. I know that I cannot think my way to this knowledge. I can act based on my values. Ruminating will not get me closer to the answers.â Something like this. Sitting with that is difficult, but if you do it enough times, your brain starts to change in response to it. Itâs not just about accepting the reality of uncertainty. Itâs about knowing you will be okay even if your worst thoughts are true. Ironically, over time, this diffuses the strength of the intrusive/scary thoughts in the first place. Itâs showing your brain that you had a thought, you read the thought, you are not going to interpret the thought, you will let it pass and not make a decision on its meaning.
@AnonymousEm Tysm for the reply!! Uncertainty genuinely feels like a death sentence, especially when it's something like me being some sort of undercover monster or sexual deviant, so I try to exaggerate the thoughts -- not to dodge the uncertainty, but make it lesser, if that makes sense? For example, I'll "I MOMN be a p*do, just like everyone else may or may not be one. I MOMN get hit by a meteor, just like everyone MOMN get hit by one, too. I can't really know for sure." Do you think this kind of approach works? I use this mostly to remind myself OCD is often not about theme, but uncertainty. (But who knows, maybe in my case it's not. I guess I'll never know!)
@pinboing I think that your approach works, in tandem with other tools (because I actually think you can know you arenât a pedo because your values are contradictory to that). If it scares you to have those thoughts, and if it triggers that emergency-feeling, there is a 99.999% chance that your reality is that you are NOT a pedofile. OCD is metaphorical. You are not afraid of what your brain is telling you to be afraid ofâ thatâs just a distraction. OCD is not really a thought problem, itâs more of a feeling problem. Your brain wants you to be afraid of the feelings (difficult feelings like loss and grief) so it latches on to thoughts that scare you to distract you from feeling feelings and sitting through them. The real truth is that you can identify your values and choose to live by them no matter what your brain tells you. Your brain wasnât designed to make you happy, but it was designed to make you survive. It helps to see yourself as the reader of thoughts, not the author of themâ your brainâs survival mechanism is misfiring and you get to be the one who decides not to look for evidence, but rather live by values.
@AnonymousEm Late reply but tysm for the reply, it helps a lot! I definitely noticed the problem isn't really logic, but the anxiety that follows any urge, sensation, thought etc. that unnerves me. I try to see myself as also the one that notices all of those things -- urges, sensations, thoughts -- and remind myself that I'm free to disregard them, regardless of whether they leave or not. A big part of this process imho is also learning how to trust in yourself again whilst letting go of all those things! I'd love to ask whether you have any strategies on how to better sit with things like physical sensations if you've ever felt those, too! Might be helpful for OP too
@pinboing It sounds like you are doing great self-work! You seem very self aware and thatâs really something to hold onto, the momentum of self growth through the healing process. Physical sensations and urges can simply arrive just by looking for them. Anxiety causes physical sensations, and when your brain is always looking for whatâs âwrong,â you will always find something âwrong.â About a decade ago, I suffered with the worst traumatic bout of OCD after a very traumatic relationship. I used to wake up with anxiety and dread, which morphed into vomiting and illness. The first thing my brain wanted to do in the morning was look for what was âwrongâ with me. In reality, what was wrong was my manipulative and damaged boyfriend, but my ocd latched onto that and kept looking for other things, including sensations. Whatâs helped me was therapy, and soothing hobbies, and giving myself time and compassion to make mistakes while I was learning what was happening to me. I broke up with him, I focused on my graduate research, I spent time with family and knitted scarves because I loved the repetition of knitting and how it calmed me. In therapy over the course of many years, I learned to give myself some time in the morning for self talk, to not drink so much coffee lol, to sit in my body and do things to calm my nervous system. This process took years for me and I still practice the tools (deep breathing, self statements, or simply saying to myself âThis is ocd. This isnât me.â And then disengaging. Mild medication has helped, too. Working on my entire health has helped, since certain conditions and foods can make ocd worse. My OCD started as a very young child? When I learned that the world wasnât safe. I got dropped off at the bus stop and someone tried to kidnap me, but thank god my mother showed up just in time. I thought I made it all up in my head, but my mom took me to the police to report him. It turned out that my description matched a man they were looking for, and my childhood imagination transformed me into a guilt-ridden imposter/liar. Over time, I learned not to trust myself, and my ocd anxiety reinforced it no matter how many times my mom reassured me it really happened. No matter how much I knew I wasnât going to hurt a child (a theme from when I was a teacher). No matter how much I knew I wasnât gay (a theme that showed up much more after an abusive relationship). Thatâs because my nerves needed to be calmed down and rerouted through riding the wave of the anxiety instead of following the ocd distractions from what I was really fearing: feelings of loss and grief (the common denominator of all the things I mentioned was that OCD was trying to convince me that I didnât know myself and that I didnât know what I was capable of. But I do know myself, and so do you. ERP isnât the only therapy useful for healing. Acceptance and Commitment therapy also helps. There are lots of CBT workbooks that have helped me, and I suggest you peruse Amazon for the most currently rated ones. You can help yourself heal by staying motivated, sourcing the momentum I mentioned above, and not giving up. It seems like you are doing that đ
I had just posted a summary of ERP for a group member, and I thought it might be useful for everybody. Here it is below (with a little extra added)âŚ. ERP therapy is researched-based. Most other therapies donât work. There have been people who have been literally stuck in their houses (from their OCD) who gained their lives back through ERP therapy. NOCD does ERP therapy exclusively. You can find it in other places too, but you have to ask around. There are two tenants of ERP therapy: The first one has to do with the repetitive thoughts inside our heads. These thoughts are actually defined as âobsessionsâ. You are not supposed to do anything with the obsessions. You are supposed to let them run through your head freely, without trying to fix them or stop them. Imagine a tree planted by a river. The leaves fall off and float down the river. You can see the leaves falling, but you donât try to stop them or pick them up. You donât try to fix them. You just let them float away. This is really important to do with your obsessive thoughts. The more you try to fight them off, the worse they get. I used to have blasphemous sentences running in my head 24/7. I felt like I had to put a ânotâ next to each sentence in order to âfixâ it. But this just took hours of my time every day, and it was very scary, because I was worried that if I messed up, that I would go to hell. It was very freeing to learn later that I could just let those sentences run freely through my head without trying to fix them. The second part of ERP therapy is all about âdenying your compulsions.â Every time OCD tells you that if you donât do things a certain way that something really bad will happen, that is a compulsion. Once you recognize what your compulsions are, ERP therapy will have you practice stopping doing all of those things. For some people, that will mean stopping washing their hands or touching lights switches or, in my case, putting âfixingâ words in their head. Compulsions are safety behaviors. During ERP therapy, you will practice stopping engaging with safety behaviors. All this is very hard to do and scary, so during therapy you will be given tools to help you deal with the fear. Often ERP therapy will take people from being non-functional to functional. I highly recommend it. ââââââââââââââââ- PITFALL #1: After you have been doing ERP for a while and become somewhat successful, the OCD will try subtle little tricks to bring you down again. The first one is to tell you that your thoughts are REAL and not OCD, and therefore you canât apply ERP therapy. Donât fall for this trick! All thoughts are just thoughts. They are all meaningless. Donât try to figure out what is real and what is OCD. Just treat all thoughts with ERP therapy. PITFALL #2: The second pitfall is that OCD will tell you that you canât move forward unless you have absolute certainty that you will be safe. Hate to tell you this, folks, but there is no certainty in life. You will never know for SURE that you or your loved ones will be âsafeâ from the OCD rules. Therefore, you have to move forward in the uncertainty. Itâs hard, but it gets easier with time and practice. We got this, guys !!!!!!
I read about ERP and have seen information about it on here. One of the goals is to say, "maybe I am this or that...ect." That terrified me. The thoughts and images that go in my head are disturbing and upsetting. I don't want to even think about saying, "maybe this or that." It's devasting to have these thoughts and question why you're having these thoughts. Doesn't the "maybe" make it worse? The one thing that helps me is that is to remind myself that these are just thoughts and I know I'm not a monster, even if I feel like one. Is ERP not for everyone? Has anyone else had a problem with the techniques used in this kind of therapy? I had cognitive therapy for years with an OCD specialist and that seemed to help a lot. Writing out the worst case scenarios would make me suicidal. Im having a difficult time not obsessing over the "maybe" after intrusive thoughts now. It doesn't make it better.
I'm trying to get my head around ERP. What is the best way to describe how it's a "solution." Imo I think OCD happens with people who are very concerned with their own genuine integrity and probably their own "morality." So when something (like an uncomfortable "real event" that actually happened) messes that up, it's hard to grapple with that...hence the endless rumination and trying to "problem solve" it. But the mind doesn't let you sleep (i.e. OCD) if something is controversial and doesn't sit with you. Or if you obsess over something and it's based on a rooted fear. You just can't "let it go," it has to be addressed and dealt with. But what happens when it is NEVER dealt with? How does ERP address that dilemma as a permanent solution? Or does ERP only address compulsions and anxiety, but it doesn't actually deal with the issue causing it. Do you ever get REAL peace of mind? Or is just something to make you feel "less anxious" etc? Thanks I just want peace of mind. I haven't had true peace of mind in several years.
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