🍁dawnofdefeat🍁

Date posted: 2d

Should I tell my partner about ERP?

Have you told your partner? Did it help your relationship, ROCD, etc? Did it hurt it? I like talking to my partner about stuff and this is interesting, but I suppose I would have to tell him about the negative thoughts I think that I have to use ERP for. I told him that I think I have ROCD and he was really sweet about it. It has helped me understand how I felt for a large portion of our relationship, and it helped him understand me more, too, which is what I hoped for. So maybe talking about ERP would help us grow more together, too?

Steven55!

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2d

In my opinion, it's okay to tell your partner, so long as your relationship is strong. You don't have to relay all the sordid thoughts we experience. They're just thoughts anyway. By letting him know you're in therapy for it, it shows him you're doing something about it. I haven't told many people about my OCD, just my wife, my priest and one other person. I didn't get into the sordid details, just a general overview. They were fine with my description. I doubt your partner would want to hear all the details, anyway; I know that I wouldn't if my wife had OCD. Hope this helps.

✨ Sara✨

Date posted: 2d

@Steven55! I agree!! Plus if we kept telling people every single thought we experience it’s almost like agree with the OCD! Aka the compulsive confessing! Sharing with people the general overview is more then enough and with the help of therapy even better!

🍁dawnofdefeat🍁

Date posted: 2d

@Steven55! Very true, thanks! Yeah, telling him the thoughts would only hurt him I think

✨ Sara✨

Date posted: 2d

@🍁dawnofdefeat🍁 Maybe it would hurt him, maybe it won’t, your choosing this uncertainty.

✨ Sara✨

Date posted: 2d

Your partner is your confidante in life. ERP is a part of your life. It’s better for him to understand it through you than to find out!

🍁dawnofdefeat🍁

Date posted: 2d

@✨ Sara✨ Would I have to tell him about my negative thoughts, do you think? Or would it be better to keep them to myself. I’m leaning towards keeping them to myself because I don’t know if he’d understand that they are intrusive. Sometimes I believe they are true even when they aren’t, and I don’t expect him to understand that nor do I want to burden him with that

✨ Sara✨

Date posted: 2d

@🍁dawnofdefeat🍁 Personally, I think the main thing is to help him understand what OCD is, the concept. I would say that telling him the intrusive thoughts would be a compulsion perhaps and either way you’d talk about that with your therapist! That doesn’t mean to bottle it up but simply that if telling him about your intrusive thoughts feels urgent than that’s definitely the OCD talking.

🍁dawnofdefeat🍁

Date posted: 2d

@✨ Sara✨ Thanks :)

🍁dawnofdefeat🍁

Date posted: 2d

@✨ Sara✨ It’s hard to tell what’s a compulsion and what’s following a logical train of thought

✨ Sara✨

Date posted: 2d

@🍁dawnofdefeat🍁 Ofc!!

✨ Sara✨

Date posted: 2d

@🍁dawnofdefeat🍁 Well OCD is tricky but it takes time to see the patterns haha.

PeterG

Date posted: 2d

@🍁dawnofdefeat🍁 You don’t necessarily have to share the content of your intrusive thoughts, especially if you are worried about how he would react to them. I think just mentioning that you are going through this therapy process and trusting that information with him along your journey is a great place to be. I’m in a similar boat with my partner. I’ve told her that I’m going to be starting therapy, but I haven’t told her exactly what for yet. Our relationship has also been the subject of some of my intrusive thoughts, so that’s made it tough, but she’s very supportive of my decision and I wouldn’t want it any other way. I wish you both a long-lasting and loving relationship, it sounds like he’s been very supportive so far and that’s awesome to hear.

🍁dawnofdefeat🍁

Date posted: 2d

@PeterG Thanks this helps :) yes, he’s really wonderful and tries his best to understand even when I hurt his feelings sometimes

✨ Sara✨

Date posted: 2d

Your not alone, this community and your loved one are here to support you on your journey to a more manageable life with OCD! ❤️

🍁dawnofdefeat🍁

Date posted: 2d

@✨ Sara✨ Thank you :)

mhassan0117

Date posted: 2d

I tell my bf every new ocd theme that pops up and he knows I did erp, prior can’t afford it! My family has been really understanding so I’m lucky I would definitely get support from someone besides a therapist for this ocd is horrible

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 2d

I would tell him general stuff, but I would not tell him the specific negative thoughts that might include him. I think it's important for him to generally understand OCD in order to understand you. But if your thoughts are about him--and you share those with him--then he might not understand well enough to know that those thoughts are actually not real.

🍁dawnofdefeat🍁

Date posted: 2d

@Tea and Honey Yeah it’s hard for me to even understand they aren’t real sometimes 😅 I imagine it would be even harder for him

Shhhhh

Date posted: 24w

Relationship OCD

For those of you in relationships with ROCD, do your partners know of your diagnosis. I am new to treatment and new to this avenue of mental health. I am generally pretty open and honest with my partner about things but the dark side of my mind I keep hidden. I’m scared to tell him about this if I’m diagnosed. And I’m scared that if I’m diagnosed and something real does go south in the relationship then my diagnosis will be used against me.

Anonymous

Date posted: 23w

Telling a partner about POCD

Hello everyone! Is there anyone who told their partners that you experienced POCD in the past or that you are experiencing right now? How did they handle it? Did they understand it? Were they supportive? I'm creating future scenarios in my mind that I need to confess this to a future partner.

anonn

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 15w

Managing ROCD/SOOCD with a partner

Hi all! I was wondering if anyone being treated with ROCD and/or SOOCD has some advice on how they handle the things *with* their partner. For context, my ex and I were together ~7 months before we broke up a year ago, in large part due to my severe anxiety from untreated ROCD/SOOCD. I’ve gotten a lot better through NOCD treatment and we’ve been friends since then. But we’re currently in a “situationship” kind of stage, where I think we’re both trying to figure out if the relationship is still feasible, and I’m finding that I’m a lot more triggered as the relationship nears becoming “serious” again. We’re both really trying to figure out the healthiest way to handle when things get hard for me. Does anyone have input about what they’ve learned or found what has worked in their own relationships? Some specific questions: - I’ve found that when getting really triggered in my own head, I have no clue if I should explain how I’m feeling to my partner or how we should address it together. How do you differentiate between communicating versus falling into the confessing/reassurance trap? - Related to the above, my partner and I are both a bit lost on the best way for him to respond when I’m really paranoid (for examples, I have major I’m-being-cheated-on paranoia and overanalyze if I’m enjoying sex enough), or if I’m overreacting to feeling rejected/misunderstood (e.g. “he didn’t respond to my comment just now, he doesn’t care/he doesn’t get me/maybe we shouldn’t be together…”) - How much does your partner know about ROCD/SOOCD in general? How much have you shared with them about your thoughts and experiences? I’ve explained both subtypes and some of my thought processes to him, but definitely not all of it, and I’m not sure how much is helpful for him to know. Answers to any or all of the questions are very much appreciated. Thanks so much in advance! Hope you’re all well 💗

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Should I tell my partner about ERP?

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