Help

@Tea and Honey Thank you so much

@Steven55! Yes

@Ocd_is_horribke I'm not a therapist, but it seems to me that what you're experiencing is a textbook OCD impulse. OCD attaches itself to who and what you value and what you fear. Sounds classic to me...

@Steven55! Also, if you really wanted to do it, you wouldn't be stressing over it.

@Steven55! Even tho it felt wanted and I did it

@Ocd_is_horribke OCD is a liar. The feelings seem so real, but they are BS. Look up the term "ego-dystonic." You may have pressed against him a little bit, but you went no further. You didn't hurt him.

@Tea and Honey But is what I did still ocd

@Ocd_is_horribke Yes!!!! It is absolutely OCD. You don't need to worry about it.

@Tea and Honey But I did actually press harder it felt like I wanted to

@Ocd_is_horribke Doesn't matter. The OCD urges get all mixed up with our thoughts and emotions, and they feel overwhelming at the moment. And then we feel like we "gave in" to them and then feel horrible. But in the end, it's all just OCD. Is a terrible disease to suffer from. And this is part of what OCD does to us.

@Tea and Honey But it scares me because my therapist is one of the most recommended ocf therapist by a doctor who’s a specialist within OCD

@Ocd_is_horribke That still doesn't mean that your therapist is right all the time. They are a human being. They will say something wrong sometimes.

@Tea and Honey @Tea and Honey Are you sure? Because I have Pocd and I was bounding a child on my knee for entertainment as she was upset and it was giving me groinal responses and I was getting so angry with myself and so overwhelmed it then gave me the erge and said to “move her closer down your leg towards your groin” and in the moment it felt wanted so I did but then took her straight off my knee and ran off crying. Of corse it was just moving her towards my belly, but it was the thought and erge behind it which traumatised me, the child was not actually harmed or anything as such!!!!!!!!!

@Tea and Honey I sent you another message but I’m scared you’ve got worried from what I’ve said or have you not seen it?

@Ocd_is_horribke Hello, I haven't seen it yet. I'll take a look!

@Ocd_is_horribke This actually happens with POCD somewhat often. Don't worry. It's just OCD. You really don't have to worry any it. I have seen many people write about exactly this sort of thing on the app. The good news is that POCD is just another subset of OCD. And we know that OCD doesn't mean anything--and POCD doesn't mean anything either. The only thing that we do know from the fact that you have POCD is that you must be a person who values kids (because OCD will attack your values). If you didn't have values like this, you wouldn't have POCD. Groinals are not a problem. You have to think of them the same way as you think of intrusive thoughts or intrusive feelings. They don't mean anything. You can just let them pass by in your life. And just remember that they are meaningless, and it doesn't matter if the groinals are there or not. It's important to understand that OCD gives 1.) intrusive thoughts 2.) feelings 3.) URGES and 4) PHYSICAL SENSATIONS. This is normal. This is just part of OCD. You treat all FOUR of these the same. You have to recognize that they DON'T MEAN ANYTHING, and then you move on with your life. Let's talk more about this!!! OCD can really torture you if you don't take this approach. But it can take a while to get there.:):):)

@Tea and Honey But people always say “people don’t act on their intrusive thoughts/erges, as it’s all unwanted in ocd” so this makes me question so why do I slightly act on them as they feel so wanted? Bare in mind I’ve been told I have the worse case of ocd by the top ocd doctor in the world

@Ocd_is_horribke - This statement that "people don't act on their intrusive thoughts/urges" is actually false. People don't act on their BIG intrusive thoughts and urges. For example, if we had an urge to take a knife and kill our best friend, we would not act on that, of course. But if we have a urge to do something tiny (like squeeze the knife too hard in the moment), then we CANT STOP OURSELVES from that. Let me give you some examples. I have had a fear of raising my middle finger higher than the other fingers (because I am afraid of offending God). Now, if I have an urge to raise up my middle finger to the sky and tell God that I think he is horrible for five minutes, then I can prevent myself from doing that. But if I have the urge for my middle finger to twitch slightly higher than the others in the moment, then I really can't stop myself. A person on the app with POCD once wrote how he couldn't prevent himself from moving his hips slightly when he felt false attraction. And I told him to stop worrying about it. He can't really prevent that. But he could and would prevent himself from actually assaulting a random person on the street. So, here's the scoop. We don't have to prevent those little things because THEY DON'T MEAN ANYTHING ANYWAY. In my case, if my middle finger slightly raises up, that actually is not offensive to anyone. And if the guy on the app moves his body slightly, it doesn't actually matter. And in your case, the child on your knee was not actually harmed. In reality, nothing has really happened. So, now, let's talk about what to do when those urges come up... We need to handle them the ERP. We need to treat these "intrusive urges" exactly the same way we treat "intrusive thoughts." This means that when the intrusive urge comes, we assign no meaning to it. If you end up doing the urge, then who cares? It doesn't matter. And we need to practice just chalking it all up to OCD and moving on with our lives. If I stayed afraid of moving my middle finger, I would be paralyzed in life. But I have told myself that if my middle finger twitches higher than the others, then that's fine. It's just OCD, and I can't worry about it. I allow it to twitch if it wants to, and then I practice going about my life. This can be very scary. Our OCD fears feel real, even though they are not real. In fact, every time we practice ERP, it can be very scary. But the more we practice, the easier it gets. We have to keep practicing moving on with life and assigning ZERO meaning to the urges, even when we "give in" to them. In reality, they are just OCD and don't mean anything at all.

@Tea and Honey Have you had a theripist before that has said ppl do act on their erges

@Tea and Honey Thank you so much for your words you really have helped me

@Tea and Honey How old are you if you don’t mind me asking

@Ocd_is_horribke I have never had a therapist say that before. But I look at it like this: Your therapist could be very good. He could even be the best you can find. But he is still going to say things that are wrong sometimes. This is because he doesn't actually have OCD. There's always going to be things he doesn't understand because he has never experienced it. There is nothing like actually going through an experience in order to be able to really understand it. I also think of it this way: It's kind of like having a favorite pastor. They can be right most of the time. But every once in a while, they can also be wrong. :):) Deep down, we know these things are OCD. I had one of those episodes happen to me just yesterday. I had this overwhelming urge that got mixed up with something I was doing at the time, and at the moment I did it, and then had to battle myself over whether or not there was any significance to it. And as I thought about it, I realized that this actually happens quite often when we have OCD.

@Ocd_is_horribke I'm middle aged mom with older kids:):) I've been dealing with OCD since I was 14 :):)

@Tea and Honey I'm here to talk whenever you need it!!! I know how horrible OCD can be.

@Tea and Honey It’s not that I don’t trust you. It’s just that hearing it from a therapist I automatically believe then 100%. I believe you but it feels more like reassuring coming from a professional mouth. I honestly appreciate you helping me so much! I really want to know how I can hear this from a professional or even somewhere that says it online that ppl can act on their erges etc or where they feel wanted in the moment, it’s just so distressing but you’ve really helped me

@Ocd_is_horribke I think it will really help to put a "definition" around what your therapist means by urges. I think if you asked the therapist to define what he means by "urges", then he would say exactly what I was saying about the big things. He is talking about trying to kill somebody with a knife. He is talking about the urge to throw someone off a balcony. These types of urges are the unwanted things that never get acted upon by people with OCD. (This is because people with OCD are not crazy. They are tortured by their minds. But they are not crazy. And that is why we never act on these big urges. This can be a comforting thing to know.) However, I don't believe your therapist is including the other types of urges in his definition (the small ones that feel so uncontrollable). He may not even understand how those little urges actually play out in the lives with every person with OCD. If he did understand that, then I think he would have a whole other category for those little mini overwhelming urges. They are entirely different than the big things. These little mini urges fall in the category of intrusive thoughts. They are just meaningless OCD twitches that we really can't prevent, except with a great effort of will. And they seem so scary, and it seems like there's so much at stake--but in reality these urges mean nothing at all, just like the intrusive thoughts.

@Tea and Honey I hear you about wanting to see this concept validated by a professional. I think you would, if you were able to look in the right places, but that can be hard with all the vast information out there. However, I think if you poll all the people with OCD, that you would find that just about everyone understands the feeling of "giving in" to this overwhelming urge at the moment, and then feeling terrible afterwards. It's a very common trap of the OCD. But, it can also help to look at the situation like this: A lot of therapists encourage people to use the "maybe, maybe not" technique. With this strategy, you can kind of train yourself to not care if OCD labels you as a bad person. For example, if you press too hard on your boyfriend's cheek, and OCD tells you that you are bad person, you can say, "Maybe I'm a bad person, and maybe I'm not. But I'm gonna keep going on with life." Do you think this would be a good strategy for you? :):) What are your thoughts? :)

@Anonymous So my ocd can cause me to do the action feeling like I wanted to but later regretting it?

@Ocd_is_horribke It can yes as it's the habitual uncertainty. It can even tie into that you purposely locked the door or wanted to help someone but then later comes back with "what if" such as "did that even happen? Did I even wanted to do that? Did I do the right thing?" No matter the subject it is the follow up that helps make it be more realization this stem from OCD. While those who do intently hurt others they will not feel remorse and tend to continue repeated acts for something like entertainment.

@Anonymous Did you see my reply

@Ocd_is_horribke Only the 5 hours ago which I replied

@Anonymous You see it now?

@Ocd_is_horribke I do not, sorry