Doubt

Yes, someone mentioned that earlier that it was about self-esteem or rather insecurities. I can identify with that.

@Mike6060 - My motivation for certain knowledge is two-fold - yes, worth; I derive my sense of self-worth and confidence by what I can offer knowledge wise for particular reasons. Also, it gives me a sense of security. But, the information I feel confident in, feels incomplete if I don't have other information. I feel disoriented and don't know how to integrate uncertainty with what I feel confident in especially when the information I see has value to me. It's honestly hard to function right now because I am living with a lot of uncertainty and doubt.

@Mike6060 - information I seek*

@Mike6060 that makes total sense. i'm sorry you're going through this man. you're not alone 💙

@rad_gh0st - Thank you.

There's information I feel confident in but there's pertinent information I feel like I need to function and interpret the world with that I don't have the knowledge from a reliable source and OCD is making it very hard to obtain. I am trying to function and live without knowing for now but I don't know how when I feel like it is needed or fundamental to perceiving the world around me. This probably sounds ridiculous and maybe doesn't make sense especially that I am not specific with details.

@Mike6060 - Essentially I need to organize people and the world by its parts and I am doubting it all. I have a difficult time living on the surface without knowing what things are made of and working my way up....a foundation and just growing as time goes by intermittently. All of a sudden I started worrying about this stuff months back....granted I had more time to think in between jobs.

@Mike6060 I kinda do get where you’re coming from. I also struggle a lot with doubts that sometimes leave me feeling stuck or paralyzed. It’s really hard when you want a clear foundation to understand everything but can’t find reliable answers. And if you can choose informations from available sources and if it's a OCD doubt then u can slowly pick by knowing which to trust even with accepting slightly doubts!

You mean when we doubt the knowledge I presume. Amen.

@deadrotloop - Thank you.

@Mike6060 Sometimes it feels like we’re stuck between doubting and guessing, and neither feels quite right. It’s exhausting trying to find that solid ground.If we doubt the knowledge and there's no better options available then yes we accept as truth from what we can find!

@deadrotloop - I call this information that I think could be right "placeholders". I call my knowledge "beliefs" and not knowledge to mitigate the doubt. But I recently have a problem with the challenges and symptoms attached to the placeholders. They are not integrating with the beliefs very well. I don't feel content without knowing for some reason. Like I need to be content or confident with thinking its right now - if its wrong in the future then I can live with that. Maybe spending more time out of my head would benefit me. lol Im trying to learn to live with the uncertainty until I could obtain the information (multiple times until it feels right lol) but this kind of information is hard to delay. Thank you both for spending your time with this. btw