Conflicted

Today I became conflicted with the thought of watching porn occasionally being unacceptable! I'm a single father, no spouse, fwb's or anything like that. I occasionally watch it after being abstinence, stressed or just can't relax. Some genuine insight on the situation would be greatly appreciated! I've been single and abstaining for 5+ years now. I've went months, weeks and occasionally multiple days without. Does that classify me as pervert, sick or anything negative

☆ madeofmoo...

Date posted: 28d

everyone has different opinions on it. personally, i don’t think it’s good for a multitude of reasons. it can be very dangerous, and damaging to how you view women/men depending on what you like. there are a lot of studies on it. the industry itself is very sad and unsettling. but only you can really make that decision for yourself. like if you find yourself using it as a crutch, an escape, to fulfill your fantasies etc. there’s no right one answer you know?

Ambitious1

Date posted: 28d

Thank you for your opinion, I feel like shit and embarrassed after so that should be a sign. I just don't have any other outlet being a single father. It's not easy for most men looking for more than sex from a women these days! I have a hard time opening up and trusting because of the way society is now...

chaitea

Date posted: 28d

I don’t think anyone else can decide how you feel about it. For me, I don’t feel any shame in it every now and then as an aid. Other people don’t think it’s appropriate in any instance, and that’s okay too.

Ambitious1

Date posted: 28d

Thanks for your opinion. I recently found myslef head to head with more problems than I can see over/around! So occasionally I've needed to but I feel embarrassed afterwards and that's something I've struggled with. It's my choice to be single because I have trust issues and I refused to be with someone who only offers sex and nothing else! My time is more valuable and I value myself more than that so settling isn't an option but singleness is my choice! Lol, I guess I kind of answered my own question!

chaitea

Date posted: 28d

@Ambitious1 Same! I’m single by choice because I typically enjoy investing in my work and platonic relationships way more than romantic ones, and there are times when I just don’t have time for fantasy in my head. I also used to be a SW in my 20’s and don’t have the same anxieties surrounding the industry as other people do. They’re mostly laborers who’d rather do that work than other jobs (like most people) and feel less disconnected from their humanity there than in a cubicle. There is a difference between SW, which is labor, and abuse. The vast majority of what goes on in Western media is SW, and it’s harmful to conflate the two since it makes it harder for SW to get believed when something really does happen to them on set if the general populace thinks their work is already abuse. I get that there are ethical concerns involved all around, and I get where other perspectives are coming from. But this is mine. I’d rather support a SW who is trying to get by like the rest of us than someone on Wall Street, which is way more unethical to me.

Anonymous

Date posted: 14w

Intentional intrusive thoughts during pleasure and masterbation

Hey guys today I just wanted to come here and share an experience I have and I generally don't know what to do I feel like a terrible person for having these thoughts and for thinking them I genuinely don't know what to do I don't know the signs behind it and why I think the way I do but it's honestly driving me crazy I don't know what to do I have a pornography addiction for a long time it's where it's like anytime I'm an intimate moment or am masturbating my head just thinks these weird things always the same repetitive thoughts to of family members your younger sibling or a young child I myself am a 17 year old and I feel so disgusted I feel like I can't live my life anymore I feel like I'm a criminal cuz like it feels like I chose this these thoughts like I actively think them I don't know the signs behind it and I just really need professional help if there's any like therapist here that could fill me in that would be nice I would also like to know if you guys had any similar experiences because for me I feel like I have to rewatch pornography and do it right without the thoughts cuz I feel like the thoughts are just like to prevalent anytime I do anything related to masturbation why do I think this way I'm also just trying to be as honest as I can with this I'm not trying to make myself I guess a victim I'm trying to hold myself accountable if I actually am like this because I also have doubts in my head that tells me that I enjoy these things I feel like I'm going crazy someone help because it feels so real like I acted on them or that I was pleasuring myself to the thoughts and not towards the video it's just how can I live with myself you know also during it it felt like I was thinking the thought for a long period of time like it was dominating my head so I couldn't focus it felt l

genicrop09

Date posted: 14w

21+ only

TW: porn mentioned When I was younger around 18-19 or maybe younger, I stumbled across some porn labeled as 'teen'. I don't remember if I watched it or get scared away by 'teen', but I then searched for porn something like '18-teen years old', I wanted to make sure it was legal. Now I'm spiraling that I did it because I wanted to see someone younger. Or what my intentions could possibly be? It happened for once or I cannot remembered searching something similar ever again. I've always preferred bigger more masculine men, but why I did that then? I had active porn addiction since I was 9 or I'm afraid younger, watched some things that I regret watching... And now I'm 23 and don't watch it all for like 3 years, because I found out that it was unethical. When I was little I preferred BDSM porn and everyone was very mature and I did not watched anything questionable with real people, but some weird fictional stuff, but didn't like it. Now that I remember this I'm very confused and don't know how to continue living with that. I'm just done...

isabellamper...

Date posted: 14w

Ruminating about past porn usage

When I was single, I watched a lot of porn, specifically lesbian porn even though I’m straight. When I got into my current relationship I dwindled down and eventually stopped watching porn of any kind, around six or so months ago. I had a flare up recently that has caused me to question every part of myself including my sexuality and my identity, my relationship, and other things that are important and valued to me, and porn keeps popping up in all of these things. I feel like my porn usage was me cheating on my boyfriend, especially in the early parts of our relationship. I broke down to him last month about it and he said it was okay, that he forgives me, but I’m still hung up on it because I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve wronged him and that I’m a terrible person and that I need to leave him because of this. This is so excruciatingly painful. I don’t want to keep confessing over and over and over again, but I don’t want to be a dirty lying cheater, which I feel like I am.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Conflicted

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community