sorry i'm posting a lot but it's been a bad day, can't stop thinking about a situationship, i know i want my current partner, but some days i doubt it and think i want this other guy, but i don't see this other guy romantically really, i more so just miss the vibe we had, it's soooo excruciating
Lately I've been having dreams about getting back with my ex and about random guys I know and it makes me feel so guilty, like I want to cheat on my bf. ROCD is my main OCD them btw. I have other but this is the one that plagues me constantly.
@FallForest i feel SO seen, rocd is my main too, (experiencing existential too recently) and i get the guilt, im tempted to text my ex and replay memories over and over again, even tho i don't want him
@Pandora_2003 Yes! I don't understand why I still think about him. My current bf is soooo much better for me, but my ex was my first and I thought we were going to get married and I constantly compare the two and I hate it. Doesn't help they have the same name haha
@FallForest they have the same nameš± man i bet ocd has a field day with that, yeah i compare them as well, which sucks because i have like an idealized version of my ex in my head, because like we had fun but it was all just potential, and it's not fair to compare the real love i have with my boyfriend to potential, when my partner is also better for me than my ex, but that doesn't stop the memories
@Pandora_2003 Yes! I 100% relate with this. Yeah, it kinda does have a field day but in the weirdest way....my numbers OCD chimes in and tells me I need to find a THIRD guy with that name because "third times a charm", and I'm only with the second one so he must not be it š¤¦āāļø
@FallForest damn that's so sneaky of ocd to use that on you like thatš my ocd fixates on my ex's name too like the fact that it's very similar to my own name then it must mean something
@Pandora_2003 Oh yeah that sounds about right. Dang, OCD will really find ANY excuse, won't it?
@FallForest but i'm ngl, and trigger warning im going to talk about a doubt, but my ex really did a number on me, and part of the reason why im here, doing therapy and struggling with rocd, and sometimes it plays tricks on me like "you wouldn't have to be doing therapy if you really are in the right relationship" or "go back to him and you won't feel rocd anymore" which is prob true, but because i wouldn't be challenged to get better anymore, maybe who knows, so that's another way it'll feed me to believe that what im working towards is a lie
@FallForest yeah ocd is clingy like that with finding any excuseš
@Pandora_2003 Oh my gosh, once again I feel this so deeply. My ROCD wasn't nearly as bad with my ex. Still very much a thing, but not nearly as bad. Probably because the relationship wasn't as healthy. He really did a number on me too. We never even technically "broke up". He kinda had a mental breakdown and went AWOL and I didn't know if he was alive or dead. Eventually, I just kind of had to decide to move on. He's alive btw (at least last time I checked). I think that that's part of why I still think about him.
@FallForest I also always had this feeling like we "wouldn't make it" because of the ROCD and now in my current relationship it uses that as confirmation bias like "well you were right last time sooo..."
@FallForest damn yeah that does not sound like a nice way to get end things and definitely leaves room for ocd to settle into the cracks where you lacked closure, for me i don't have much closure either and it's kind of one of my compulsions to keep seeking an answer to all of it
@FallForest oh no not the confirmation bias š that's the worst because you feel you have "proof" so then it's gotta be more "logical", i do that all the time with everything
Yes omg, me too. My recent fling was āmore funā in a way because he was more experienced in life and simply just was a bit more reckless. Lol- doesnāt mean he was good for me, but yea my ocd latches into that by making me think my bf is too boring for me.
@Jackyyy.hm UGH YES!! omg you get me. My fling was so reckless, and also more experienced and so those memories are real intense. Like I look back on it as if it were a movie. He kinda had that vibe where he just does what he wants whenever and takes what he wants and it was intoxicating. Of course, doesn't mean he was good for me either but damn it was fun. I've been with my boyfriend going on 4 years now and we live together so of course we have moments where we're not all crazy like I was with my ex. But my ocd definitely feeds off of it and thinks that my bf is boring or that i miss the fling life or whatever when he's just the first time i've found peace
@Pandora_2003 Oh wow, yea thatās how I feel. We are also going on to four years- tho we have been on and off in the past. Do you have social media? Maybe we could talk abt this lol
@Jackyyy.hm yes pleaseš i've been trying to find anyone that could relate to me on this for so long
I went through this exact thing. I actually still kind of compare old flings even to my current partner. But my recent āexā fling was the main one. We had a lot of āchemistryā and so thatās really triggering for me. He was also a bit older and it makes it hard for me because I start thinking well I would be happier w an older guy. Anyways it sucks, and I experienced the dreams, the comparisons, everything. Itās the worst
@Jackyyy.hm omg i feel so seen, my recent fling is also the main one I compare to and we also had crazy chemistry, i was so comfortable and myself around him, so it's extremely triggering for me too, and he's more wild so it brought out that side of me more too and i also start thinking like oh i'd be happier with a wild guy. It is truly the worst, especially since it has made an impact on my current relationship
@LV4523 Hello, in my case Im having this obsesssoonal doubt when my mind says āyou are in love with your exā š does it happen to you?
So me and my boyfriend have been dating for a few months but seriously talking for around 8. I have never met anyone so perfect and amazing. I love him so much. Into our talking stage i kissed my ex situation-ship and ever since have been dealing with the consequences. He forgave me and gave me another chance and i have shown him how much i care every day since. He is over it now since it was only in our talking stage. I have had thoughts with my ex name, thoughts i hate my boyfriend, always constantly thinking if im bored, if i love him. It switches day by day and impacts my life constantly. I donāt feel like myself at all. Some days i canāt do it. I just want to be happy and secure with him. my thought from the past few days is that i want to be single and hook up with other people. I donāt actually want to hook up with others but i feel so terrible and guilty. Does anyone else deal with this? Sometimes i canāt tell the difference between my real thoughts and the fake ones. I have been debating breaking up with my boyfriend because i feel like itās best but i would be so sad. He is perfect and i see myself marrying him.
Iām so confused if the breakup was the right decision I felt so confident about it in the moment but now I feel the opposite I donāt understand how my emotions can switch up on me this much
I feel like I shouldnāt be with my partner anymore, but I have no clear reason why. I feel sad every single day, I have a constant heaviness in my chest, I cry often, and I start arguments with him. I canāt remember the good memories. Everything feels distant, fake, or tainted. I donāt know why I love him ā and all my thoughts tell me that I never truly did, that I only wanted to feel something, and now I finally see the truth. The worst part is that it all feels so real. I feel lost. I feel numb. I feel guilty. I canāt feel love right now, but some part of me still wants to hold on, still wants help. I donāt want to make any decisions right now. I just want to know Iām not alone. Has anyone else gone through this?
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
