Religious OCD Christian

Ugh I relate to this so bad. I’m not much help but I feel you.

Sorry you're going through this. All Christians and even the saints, perhaps especially the saints, deal with intrusive thoughts to some degree. People "with OCD" get unusually bothered by them, and they become fruitful ground for spiritual warfare. Sometimes we work ourselves up and sometimes the demons work us up. I recommend viewing intrusive thoughts as *external* to you - as either random noise, or as demonic intrusions. Demons completely hate humans, and if they find a fruitful way to get us worked up, they will use it. Once you truly accept that not all thoughts are your own, and that spiritual warfare is a daily thing, it's so freeing. Then you can truly let the thoughts pass by, because they may not even be yours. The scariest thing about "OCD" (to me) is the thought that the thoughts are "me" somehow, that they are the deepest part of me coming out. That's a lie. And who is the father of lies? The truth is not every thought is your own, so only keep the ones you want! Saint Paisios once said "Thoughts are like airplanes flying in the air. If you ignore them, there is no problem. If you pay attention to them, you create an airport inside your head and permit them to land!". I strongly, strongly recommend reading chapters 9 & 10 of "Mountain of Silence" by Kyriacos Markides. Seriously, they are life changing. Incredible wisdom from Orthodox Christian monks on how to deal with intrusive thoughts. Better than anything you'll get on OCD from a secular therapist. You are not alone, not all thoughts are yours, and Christ knows your heart. God bless you.

Hey. I understand this completely, I go through it as well. Have you ever heard of Mark DeJesus? He's a former pastor with OCD and has a ton of good helpful resources on this topic. His stuff has helped me.

I am a Christian too, and I have learned a lot over the years about these questions you have. First of all, the verses that talk about taking control of your thoughts DO NOT apply to OCD. These verses apply to how "normal" people deal with thoughts. They do not apply to OCD thoughts, which are a different ballgame all together. I've been in this OCD recovery journey a long time, and what I've learned is this: The thoughts are meaningless. Let me explain. I used to have terrible sentences against God running through my head every second of the day. That tortured me so much! But when I learned that it was safe to let those thoughts run freely in my head, I hesitated at first. It took an act of faith for me to allow the thoughts to just rattle around freely in my head (without me trying to stop them or fix them). That was the door that I needed to go though, and the thoughts went away after that. Like I said, it took an ACT OF FAITH for my to stop fighting them. But it was truly safe to do that. I learned years later that this is the same thing people are taught in ERP therapy. Some therapists explain it like this: Imagine a tree planted by a river. The leaves fall from the tree and float down the river. You don't pick up the leaves. You don't fight them off. You don't try to fix them. You just watch them float by. I'll send you something I wrote about the thoughts. It applies to all thoughts. Remember, religious OCD is no different than any other form of OCD.

I remember the part of the bible that says "do not be overly righteous, do not make yourself overwise." That helps me somewhat. I gave up caffeine 2 days ago and I have more clarity.