False attraction relationship

Has anyone else gotten into a relationship before realizing that it not only started but continued due to false attraction? So in November I got out of an admittedly toxic relationship (unfortunately on both ends) and I had been in it for a year and three months. If I'm being completely honest within the first 3 months I realized that it was false attraction, but I didn't want to out right break up with him since he was also not mentally well. So, I stupidly started self sabotaging. As I said, it ended up being completely toxic, we got into plenty of arguments that rarely got resolved. There was worse things that happened than the arguments, but that's besides the point. I started it when I shouldn't have. At most I had somewhat of an aesthetic attraction to him. He had a look that I really liked at the time (long hair 😭.) But, I honestly didn't like anything else. His personality wasn't very good, he was rude as a "joke" (it was never funny to me) also he was 11 months younger than me. I know it's not an insane gap by any means, but it's just not something that I want in a relationship. I prefer my partners to be same age to like a year older. Not to mention there was a pretty clear maturity gap. If I'm being completely honest, I saw him as a friend (sometimes barely that.) Like I said, I'm aware that it was completely on me and I was wrong for it. But, has anyone gone through something similar? Hopefully not something too toxic.

Nicomars

Date posted: 7w

I definitely have had a similar experience in my last relationship. I’m not attracted to women but I was dating a genderfluid person I had befriended through school and when they confessed that they liked me I was unsure if it would work. Ultimately they said that they preferred they/he pronouns and i was attracted to their masculine presentation. (He is AFAB which I had no problem with as a trans guy) but I wasn’t actually attracted to how he looked. We agreed to use the terms boyfriend/partner but I think that they were repressing the feminine part of their identity to impress me or something. I think I might have liked them more because they made me feel desirable than any romantic feelings and since we broke up I have no attraction to them. He is less than a month younger than me but the emotional maturity is very different which also made me less interested. We definitely both brought problems into the relationship but I can at least say that I was 100% honest with my needs and expectations at the start. In the future if there’s anything making me question if I actually like someone I plan on getting to know them more before getting into a relationship. This was really long so sorry for rambling but you are definitely not alone in your experience

Andrew Escobar

Date posted: 7w

Omg same! I didn't know him for long enough at all. I knew him for a week before we got together. Can we tell that I have some serious attachment issues? 😭 I've realized that my attachment issues get so much worse when I get out of any sort of relationship. Which is unfortunately what had happened, I got out of a failed talking stage with someone I actually wanted so I stupidly clung onto the first person I could. But I'd say it ended pretty well since I'm currently with someone that I both genuinely love and he's great! Thankfully with this one were on the same emotional maturity level

Googlyeyes34

Date posted: 23w

False attraction

False attraction has been killing me ive had it for months with the same person. I have a boyfriend so having false attraction makes me feel so guilty. And lately theyve felt so real and ive been so anxious. What if I do like him bla bla. Ive only ever saw him as a brother and we have a good connection and he is one of my good friends but even sometimes when im having a conversation I feel like im cheating. Sometimes I get excited like oh yay he is gonna be here and then I get scared that it’s romantical because I get excited when he is around because he is a funny. Im so scared thats its real attraction because I love my boyfriend I would never do such a thing. And lately my minds done stuff like oh grab his attention stuff like that and it feels like I have done those actions but I dont want to. Sometimes when he is like idk sitting near Im like oh is he looking and my minds like oh do something to empress him bla bla. Recently he was going thought stuff and my boyfriend was there and I was I can give him a hug because I think he needs it but after I thought of it as bad because he is a guy and I had this false attraction what if I did it because I like him bla bla. I am freaking out idk why my mind makes me do compulsions that I have acted on like oh go talk to him and I do its weird urges that I do not want to do. I am scared that it will come true

What is happ...

Date posted: 17w

YOUR EXPERIENCE IN FALSE ATTRACTION

Can anyone give their experience on FALSE ATTRACTION? At this moment, mine has become worse. Soon as I see a male my anxiety shoots up, I can feel this in my chest and my OCD is telling me I’m attracted. But I continue to look back or stare and the disgust comes over me and my body shakes and I feel my face screw up. I can’t listen to music I use too or watch movies which was a favourite thing of mine to do. I just feel disgusted and not who I am when it happens. It’s like a different me. P.S. I had a very good week few days ago where I knew this wasn’t me and these feelings/ thoughts isn’t me.

Sexual Orientation OCD

ocdinglehopper

Date posted: 15w

false attraction/impulsibe feelimg

so, my intrusive feelings started over a thought about a guys arms being attractive, and i still think big arks are attractive, but i hate his face? and his personality, so would it still be false attraction? if i like his body but not his face or personality because i have every single false attraction sign, but i just like his arms/body. someone please lmk!!

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False attraction relationship

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