I give up

Thank you so much for responding, your absolutely right I've been this from a lens of so much self hatred ,I forgot I'm a human being too I forgot I need to show myself love too I mean it's my first time existing so the least I can do is be kind to myself

@NODA Hi can you talk this this other person also who’s named himself disgusting and worthless first their name was giving up but they changed it to that I tried talking to them and other resources regarding therapy and help because I asked them did they find any help yet so I gave them another resource. But they told me that they were disabled and chronically ill so I told them that the resource I gave them was online but then they said that people who they live with will hear their appointments but I told them that they can schedule the appointment time at night when everyone was asleep so no one would hear after that they just deleted all their messages to me I tried to help but maybe you can I really like your message

@justdiya22 Hi! That was fast - changing your profile name. Good for you!!! I just need to ask. I have this feeling of unease in my stomach. Justdiya22 has nothing to do with just die, right? 🙏👼. I hope Diya is your name. It sounds beautiful. It is easy to fall off the tracks and to hate yourself, especially when you feel hopeless and like you have no control over your life. And it is hard to get back on track. I still deal with it often. I have learnt that even faking it at the beginning is better than hating myself. And in a while, you start feeling friends with your body and soul. Boyfriends come and go. As you realize your own worth, the boyfriend will come who will appreciate you and stay. That is what I believe. If you forget that you are a beautiful soul deserving of love and kindness, don't worry, let us know and we will get you back on track. 😻🤗🐞🍀😄

@NODA Diya is actually my name, and thank you for the beautiful message

@spy Hello, spy. Thank you for replying and for caring for another person. You did all you could to provide help and support. It does not work if the person on the receiving end is not ready to hear and accept it. And that is up to them solely. I would love to help if I could. The only thing I know about them is what you wrote. I font know how to find them. Are you sure they want to hear advice from any of us here at NOCD. If I come across a post from them, I will gladly respond. I see you are dealing with Magical thinking ocd as well. Maybe we should all exchange experiences a bit more. Magical thinking ocd is specific and can become a nightmare. Might be nice to support one another in all the weirdness and stupidity of it that feels dumb to others and so real to us. Wishing you the best. 😊

@justdiya22 Diya, I love your name. Really. Sounds so beautiful, feminine. See, you have a beautiful name and you can start your loving yourself training from your name, appreciating its beauty. Hope you're feeling better. 🍀🐞🤗

@NODA Yeah no it’s fine I just found out they lied to me about not being able to move around

@NODA No they don’t want to hear advice other people has replied to them but they will make a post for some reason but when people are trying to help they won’t respond to them but continue to post the same thing over and over again I don’t know why they lied to me though

@NODA Yes I mostly struggle with pocd but I’ve been trying to help everyone and doing my best thank you 😊

@spy Wow!

@NODA Thank you 😊

@spy Well, maybe they feel better and less lonely just by posting what they are posting and if someone replies, even better for them. They are at the focus of attention and sometimes this is all they can accept at the moment. In any case, you do and did your best, and I am sure you helped even though they don't show the appreciation. Be the way you are. Answer and offer support. Some people will react like the struggling person you mentioned and others will appreciate it. In any case, you helped all. Bravo! 👏

I was a really bad person at some point, so it's really hard for me to believe that I'm not

I keep trying to change, I keep trying to overcome ocd but with every spiral I just get weaker and weaker

@Stupidbrain22 I feel like this about my past too. but I try to remember I don’t know for sure I was a bad person or a horrible person but the fact that we’re both worried about it right now shows at least we feel guilt and shame and want to change whatever may have been wrong, in which I don’t know your situation or the reason why you may think you were horrible in the past but it’s most likely our brains telling us false information about the past. I try to think about false memory ocd and how it rewrites the past when we’re desperately trying to find comfort in evidence that we’re not bad. We cannot change the past and I know it’s hard to accept because ofc I want to change my past too and for some reason always feel guilt about it. but we can’t and literally have no control over that fact. maybe try to think about what you could do to improve, what you could do in the moment or for the future that can help. for me it’s building a habit of using more coping skills becuase in the moment ofc I resort to google, checking, etc. which only feeds the cycle. I’m sorry if this was a bunch of yap and not very helpful but I just wanted to share my thoughts and maybe if it can help you in some way. :)

@Summ3r_ Thank you so much for your response, and yes it has greatly helped me .I just went through so much at once in my past and part of it was me being a bad person the rest is probably false memory ocd .it's the absolute worst it mostly attacks me in moments when I'm.getting comfortable in the present, its like my brain is not used to bring at peace

@justdiya22 I get what you mean. Sometimes it literally does feel like being allergic peace and life because there’s always something ocd will make a problem and then it feels like you have to fix everything. for me I’ve been in a bad ocd spiral the past couple months and even the few moments of peace I find get hijacked my ocd and a new worry so I understand how exhausting it is fr😭 I’m glad I could help in some way, false memory ocd feels literally dehumanizing because then you can’t even find good things about the past and it leaves you stuck in the present with present worries. That’s why we gotta try to make the best of the present 🫶

@Summ3r_ It's seriously awful its like we can't catch a break ,literally pulls back things that happened when I was like 9 just to bother me in the present

Thank you I really needed to hear this