Tonight I accidentally backed into my aunt’s car after leaving a family event. There was very minor damage and she said it was no big deal and not to worry about it but I feel so sick with guilt. I cannot stop crying and replaying the event over and over again. I’m worried she is secretly mad at me. How do you handle making minor mistakes and not obsessing over them?
Also if it helps, try to remember that the purpose of guilt is to help you recognize when you've done something wrong, so that you can learn from your mistake and try to do better moving forward. Once you recognize what you've done wrong (or that you accidentally did something), and set the intention to be more careful in the future, the guilt has done what it needed to do. Beyond that, if you dwell in the guilt, it's no longer healthy; it's just self torture. That understanding may not prevent these thoughts and feelings from coming up, but it can help you disregard the thoughts themselves, because you know you don't need them.
@djflorio Thank you so much for your kind and wise comment!❤️
Things happen. And I can almost guarantee you that you are thinking about it way more than she is! That's just the way our overanxious brains work. You're not perfect nobody is. Just remind yourself. This won't be nearly as important to you in a few days. It'll be OK.
@Kimber Thank you! This is my first real accident and I’m having a really hard time dealing with the fact I made a mistake. It’s not fun being imperfect lol
@Brekgel Definitely not fun but the good thing is you can actually 100% know that you are not the only one that's not perfect lol so don't sweat. :)
I’m the same way! The anxiety makes you feel bad when A. you can’t change it B. mistakes are normal and will happen to everyone and C. she says it’s not a big deal. As the above commenter said, this will seem so insignificant when some time passes. The torture is just a negative with literally no benefits. When the feeling pops up, notice the thought/pain and try to move on with what you were doing or thinking prior. Sending love + Wishing you luck!!!
@chaitea Thank you!❤️
When I was in college, I was driving my then girlfriend to class, which she was late for. We were stopped at a stop light in a line of cars, and in a brief moment of distraction I very lightly bumped into the car in front of me. When the traffic finally moved, the person in front of me pulled over (expecting me to do the same), but in a split second decision, I decided to keep driving, at which point there was no turning back. I saw the person in the car look up and watch me drive by, and in that moment I knew I made a mistake. For weeks after, I kept replaying the moment in my head over-and-over again. I kept trying to justify what I did, thinking about how we were late, it didn't look like there was any damage on the car, etc, etc. But nothing seemed to help. This was well before I started any sort of OCD treatment. As time wen't on I kind of just forgot about it, and before reading this post, I literally haven't thought about it for years. So much has happened in my life since then that it feels like nothing. If I could go back in time, I would have tried some ERP strategies: "maybe they got my license plate number, and maybe they didn't" "maybe they think I'm a terrible person, and maybe they don't" "maybe they saw my face and know who I am, and maybe they didn't" That would have reduced the amount of time it bothered me significantly. So try to sit with the uncertainty of the situation. Maybe your aunt is secretly mad at you, and maybe she isn't. Allow that uncomfortable feeling of anxiety and uncertainty to be there, and allow yourself to feel it. The key is to feel it without getting lost in the thoughts surrounding it. It's nothing but a feeling, and the thoughts are just thoughts. That's all they are. Hope that helps!
I look back at various past events in my life where I said or did things that I feel really guilty, disgusted, and ashamed about. I replay them in my head for hours. I feel anxious about crossing paths with people that I've hurt or upset in the past or who perceive me badly, to the point that I will avoid going out in public as much as possible. I go out for work, errands, appointments, and occasionally to eat (even though those all give me a lot of anxiety), but I avoid community events where people might recognize me and I tend to isolate myself. The only people I see regularly are my boyfriend, my parents, and my coworkers. I live in a small community and I'm worried about people confronting me publicly and proving what a bad person I must be.
Hello, I was driving last night and i hit a bump in the road like felt like a massive pothole but the road i was driving on (i drive on it almost everyday) and i’ve convinced myself that I hit someone or something. I had my mom drive by there again about 20-30 mins later and there was nothing but she said it looked like a hole was filled by rain water. I drove by later that night and didn’t see it so I’ve convinced myself that if something happened, it was cleared out in that time. Is there anything I can do to help myself feel better.
i feel like i have been posting a lot about this and i will try to stop since now but i just don't know where to start or what to do, and i can't take therapy right now either. my event is about something that did actually happen; i had a boyfriend and we had a 1.5 age difference (i know this sounds stupid) but the thing is that we both started to sext a lot since he was 14 and i was 15. we shared audios videos pictures ect and i don't know how to just let this go, even when i know that i never really forced him into anything and i was always constantly worried about him being comfortable, when to stop and ect. the memories keep coming back to my mind and the guilt is eating me up slowly because i keep thinking that i'm a predator or a groomer or something like that. i don't know how to deal with the what ifs either, lately i haven't stopped thinking what if i sexually harassed or sexually exploited him or something like that. how do i deal with the cycle of guilt and constant what ifs if i also feel like my event is worse than others i've seen? please help me with this. it's getting a lil tiring and even if somedays i know how to deal with this, i still get really triggered sometimes. this wouldn't even bother me before, i wish i could just get back in time before this theme popped into my mind. my life has been a hell since then and i live constantly scared and suicidal.
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