I can’t help but feel so anxious because of guilt. I feel guilty about not sharing everything about my OCD to my partner, but because I understand that confession itself is a compulsion and would not help anyone. I feel so anxious too that if all my fears come true and she finds out, then it would be so devastating for everyone especially her. Does anyone feel the same thing? How could I change my perspective on this?
Acceptance. Accept that you have OCD and let bith the thoughts and the guilt just be there. Live your life, focus on things that are real and important in the here abd now.
Yes—what you’re feeling is so common with OCD, especially when it shows up in the form of guilt and compulsive confession. It’s one of the cruelest tricks OCD plays: it convinces you that you’re withholding something terrible, that you’re a bad partner, and that unless you “come clean,” everything will fall apart. But that’s not your truth—that’s the OCD talking. The fact that you’re aware that confession is a compulsion is actually huge. It means you’re already one step ahead. OCD uses your values against you—especially if you care deeply about honesty, love, and protecting others. But here’s the key: honesty doesn’t mean giving into compulsions. Real honesty is being present, kind, and intentional—not feeding the cycle of reassurance that OCD demands. Try reframing it like this: Choosing not to confess is not being dishonest. It’s you choosing recovery. It’s you protecting your relationship by not letting OCD dictate how you connect. That’s not selfish—that’s strong. If your partner knows you live with OCD and supports your recovery, that’s enough. The goal isn’t to explain every fear, but to learn how to live with uncertainty and let love exist without needing to control every outcome. You’re not alone in this at all. And the fact that you’re asking how to shift perspective tells me you’re already doing the work. Keep going—you’re doing far better than you think. 💛
@Vamp DeVille This was so beautifully said, i appreciate you so much! You replied to my other thread before and you have helped me more than u understand
Hello iLikeDaniel, I would first like to congratulate you on taking the step of resisting compulsions. Identifying and resisting compulsions is a key part of treatment with ERP. The key here is not just resisting compulsions, but reintroducing uncertainty when they do occur. OCD is what is often referred to as the doubting disorder, due to the doubt the intrusive thoughts cause to the person who is experiencing intrusive thinking. I highlight DOUBT as being key. Introducing uncertainty is sitting with not knowing till the distress passes. Where you able to continue to resist the compulsions? Did you reintroduce uncertainty? Were you struggling with knowing where to start? At NOCD we are trained experts in the diagnosis and treatment of OCD and related conditions using Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). ERP is the gold standard of treatment for OCD and related conditions, with the better part of the past century's research backing the efficacy of ERP. If you would like more information on OCD and ERP, please visit our website at www.treatmyocd.com. If you are seeking to begin/resume your journey of recovery, you may reach out to our member advocate team at care@nocdhelp.com. I hope this message reaches you well and know that at NOCD, we are always here to help! Take care, Ian M. Reeder
What to do when we feel guilty about our ocd checking and compulsive behaviors?
I’m currently struggling with guilt from checking OCD. By this I mean, I feel guilty and shameful by my OCD checking because I feel as that was immoral and wrong and I really don’t know what to do. How can I fight this?
I feel afraid that if my friends knew the type of ocd I have they would not understand and I’m scared if they knew the compulsions I did and the results they would not love me anymore. Scared that anyone I meet might not really love me because they don’t know this about me. Scared of getting in a relationship because of this. I hope I can find therapy soon to relieve the guilt but I just wish I could have the confirmation that my loved ones would love me anyways. I feel like I have a big dark shameful secret. I care so much about what ppl think, letting that define what’s true or not about me but I care much more about the opinions of those I love and that love me, which is why it’s scary.
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