EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 8w

ROCD Christian

So I’m getting there I’m almost at recovery. I have to tell myself I don’t know if my boyfriend is attractive enough for me to marry. I have no idea. Maybe he’s not. I have every right reason tk be with him I can name off reasons why I like him and love him more than physical appearance and they outweigh any bad thing or flaw. I also can do this Joe without trying to feel something. Or have a right feeling. I always felt like if I wasn’t that physically attracted it meant I should be with someone else and I don’t wanna be, so I’m taking the reigns and I’m saying yes I care about it this I wanna be with him I know k am for th right reasons I also think the spirit wants me here. God doesn’t value looks over personality. I have a history of prideful ness, and I’m going to take them captive and reflect on his heart in those moments. I’m not hopeless I have faith that God will come through for me. Even if he isn’t God will show me he is in control here even of my heart , he is in control and he will lead me .

mcocd

Date posted: 8w

If you don’t want to be, than that is your answer. Physical attraction is not a stimuli that will maintain in your brain forever. Your brain will get” bored” of ANYONE you are with after a few years. I mean this with love, but you just kind of have to choose what you want. There are plenty of great people, but the amazing part of love is you get to choose your best friend for life with marriage and commitment. My fiance is an amazing man. I love him with all my heart. But I will admit I want to smack him some days for his quirks and things he does to get on my nerves,, but only because I know him so well. I don’t see this side of other people, so comparing them is very unfair.

EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 8w

@mcocd If I don’t want to be what?

EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 8w

@EmmaGrace27 Sorry I didn’t understand and I do appreciate the advice I feel like I should seek out a super attractive guy bc that’ll make me in love more or whatever or I’ll like them more but that isn’t true

mcocd

Date posted: 8w

@EmmaGrace27 I meant if you don’t want to leave, than that can be your answer Attraction is temporary, but love is a choice. Putting attraction on a scale or focusing just on that leads to just heartbreak in my opinion. If you just go based on butterflies, you will chase people and bounce around for life. True love is peace and being partners, being supportive and being there when bodies change and life changes.

EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 8w

@mcocd I also always thought those things meant I didn’t love him

EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 8w

@mcocd That’s basically what I’ve done and I’ve felt so alone Ana trapped bc I’m like I don’t have this feeling! Why don’t I have this feeling! Let me go find someone who can give me that but I absolutely adore that man and with ocd it can be confusing if you get me

EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 8w

@mcocd I appreciate you

mcocd

Date posted: 8w

@EmmaGrace27 Love is a choice, you can decide to love someone and pursue them or to pursue someone else, but I’ll be transparent with you if you just chase attraction and butterflies, you will never be satisfied. Grass is always greener. When I’ve left previous partners, I had a definitive reason of not seeing a future with them and knew it would be best for both of us. I get intrusive thoughts or attraction to other people, but I know they would never compare to the fun and love I have and show for my fiance. I chose him not because he makes me “ooo” and “aaa” every time I see him, but that I love the connection and life we have built together.

EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 8w

@mcocd That’s exalt the reason why I choose Josh!

EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 8w

@mcocd Thank you 💞

mcocd

Date posted: 8w

@EmmaGrace27 Absolutely. And don’t feel guilty for ever debating. Everyone has some sort of “doubt” or thoughts such as these in a relationship. It is just your brain trying to protect you and make sure you are making good decisions ;) Comparison is the root to unhappiness, I’d say enjoy what you have if it makes you feel good and is healthy.

EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 8w

@mcocd I’m doing exposures and erp for the attraction thing so wish me luck! I’m doing good

mcocd

Date posted: 8w

@EmmaGrace27 Just remember that human attraction is not controllable and that monitoring your feelings 24/7 also makes the signals in your brain not make much sense sometimes. The best times I have is when I try to forgive myself and focus on other things

EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 8w

@mcocd It also causes me not o become more attracted to him it causes me to not enjoy him

Theocdguitarist

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 8w

you've got this Emma! I know the feeling, it can feel so painful when you have those thoughts. But remember, "this too shall pass." you won't feel uncomfortable forever, but for that to happen, you have to let go and trust God. I believe in you 😁

EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 8w

@Theocdguitarist Thank you much!

EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 8w

@Theocdguitarist Honestly I think gratitude is the key I see him then I start to hard wire myself into thinking he’s ufly or I don’t like him

Theocdguitarist

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 8w

@EmmaGrace27 gratitude is really great to practice too :) just make sure it's not compulsive

EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 8w

@Theocdguitarist Right. I see attractive men and I think well I’d be happier with them bc I would have more feelings and I think this is ocd

EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 13w

ROCD attraction relationships

So I don’t feel that physically attracted to my boyfriend but I love him! I wanna be with him I love his heart and who he is. Can this still work you think? Anyone? I already obsess over his looks but I’m afraid about this bc I wanna value who he is over looks period!

EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 10w

ROCD Improvement

So I just had like a huge breakthrough. I often look for a feeling when I’m with him. And when I don’t I freak out mentally and it’s weird it’s hard it figure out why. But I was like doing my exposure and thought you know I choose this. I don’t need to do anything about this feeling I choose to love him on facts not feelings. So this doesn’t have to mean ANYTHING, I choose to love him despite knowing he’s not super conventionally attractive. It’s my choice , “what if I really don’t wanna be though” no it’s a choice that can’t be true if it’s a choice that means I do really want to be with him bc I’m still choosing him. If I didn’t wanna be with him I wouldn’t be with him and have no reason not t be. It’s a choice despite how you feel Evry day.

EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 9w

ROCD

Wanna marry my partner , have no excitement feelings? Scared to lose attraction? Can’t see clear? Even though I have every right and reason to

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