i haven’t left my house in a whole month because of contamination OCD and it’s extremely isolating i don’t know what to do anymore i just want to be able to be happy again i feel so alone i just wish i never had this at all sometimes i just think to myself and say why me why me
Hi friend, I'm so sorry you're going through that-- it sounds like a lot. Have you thought about looking into ocd therapy or erp, if that is something that you think could help you? Remember that you aren't ever alone in this, you have your community here.
@Moana2022 yeah, I’m in therapy. I think we’re about to start trying to do ERP but I’m very nervous for that because I know that it’s gonna cause me a lot of stress and I’m already under a lot right now so I don’t know how I’m gonna be able to deal with more stress on top of the stress that I’m already feeling right now and I know medication helps with the process and I tried Zoloft and I started breaking out in hives because I’m allergic to it so I had to stop taking it so I’m stressing out about that too because I was really looking forward for my anxiety to start calming down or getting a bit better but it’s just getting worse
@Brianna.2 First of all, I'm so proud of you for taking that step and going to therapy, even though it is not easy. It's very normal to feel nervous about ERP, that's how I felt at the beginning. Remember that your therapist is not going to make you do the most stressful exposures first-- you're going to go up the ladder slowly, and by the time you get to the exposures which were once the scariest, you will be very well prepared and they won't be as scary. If you ever feel like an exposure induces a paralyzing amount of fear, let your therapist know and they can adjust it as necessary. They are here to help you and work alongside you. Nothing should be impossibly stressful. However, a medium level of stress while doing ERP is normal and actually will help you progress faster. The more you lean into your exposures and resist the compulsions fully, the faster/more effectively your treatment will work. Of course, it is not a race and ask your therapist to spend more time on an exposure if you think it still is at a higher fear level. You have the strength and the courage to do this. I know you do. Small steps, one exposure at a time, you've 100% got this, don't doubt yourself. There's no better time than now to work on this and change your life for the better. I once would worry if ERP would add additional stress to my stressful schedule but the stress plateaus and goes down after a while as you continue doing exposures. You've got this!!!!
@Moana2022 thank you so much i really been needing someone to talk to and i have a question if you don’t mind me asking when you did ERP how long did the anxiety and stress last from it I’m just wondering because I just wanna know how long it takes for the stress from it to go away or is it different for everyone?
Yes of course, so glad that I can be of help. It's been relatively recent, but after starting ERP the intense anxiety and stress was there on and off during the first two weeks. After about three weeks of consistent sessions and practice I started to feel better not because the exposures were getting easier or anything, but because it was helping me deal with mental blocks in my daily life. It's still not perfect, but a lot of things feel so much easier. The time it takes for the stress to go down can vary from person to person, but one thing is for certain: as you do more exposures and keep going along you will start to see gradual changes in your behavior and one day will be surprised by your progress. Just keep going, even as hard as it feels at the moment. You are doing the best thing you could possibly do for yourself with ocd by going for ERP treatment. I'm not gonna lie and say it is a walk in the park, but every time you practice an exposure it is bringing you closer to fully healing. I don't mean to be dramatic but because of ERP I'm starting to get my life back. Even if it's a little stressful at the beginning, it will taper off at some point and you will begin to enjoy it!
Im having a OCD specifically contamination OCD flare up all month and I don’t want to feel this way going into March, I’ve thrown out clothes, towels, stayed up for hours doing compulsions, washed my hands till they crack and bleed, I have washing pilling up cause I’m so overwhelmed by all the extra things I’ve added cause I thought it was contaminated. It’s completely draining me to the point where I’ve become sleep deprived and are avoiding part of my home because they are deemed contaminated to me…I only moved in a few months ago, I had a roach problem and using baits and insecticides really messed with my ocd too. anyone have any tips or tricks to make this easier? I wasn’t doing this bad in January :( thankyou in advance :)
If anyone has beaten or gotten a lot better with contamination ocd how long did it take and how did you do it? I don’t see myself getting over this theme for a long time but I’m worried for my future like getting a job , I’m scared I won’t be able to cope with bacteria in a workplace and stuff like that. Just feeling lost in recently :(
(long read ahead, sorry lol) I’ve struggled with ocd for as far back as I can remember. I find that it gets worse with stress, and recently I’ve really been struggling with the contamination aspect of my ocd. I’m worried about it becoming unmanageable and negatively affecting my relationship with my partner. I’ve been living with my boyfriend since January (got kicked out of my house a week after I turned 18, it’s for the better though my house is toxic as hell) and I love living with him, but him and his family aren’t as concerned with cleaning as I am used to. My boyfriend and I have been together going on 2 years and there’s been many times throughout our relationship that his struggle with depression severely impacted his ability to keep up with cleaning his room. This is something I completely understand because I’ve struggled with it too so i’ve often helped him clean, and since i’ve moved in he’s done so much better at keeping up with cleaning (especially because he knows about my issues with clutter, mess, germs, etc.) He is really good at being accommodating towards my needs (not overly so, i’m aware that recovering includes accepting being uncomfortable), but it’s so hard for me to differentiate between what is the normal standard for cleanliness and hygiene and what’s excessive and unhealthy. I get so stressed out every single day over the thought of how dirty everything is. He has 3 cats that mainly stay in his room (he has a catio attached to his window/side of the house) and dogs which stay on the opposite side of the house and backyard, so there is fur everywhere constantly (i’m also allergic to cats but it’s not severe). I can’t stop thinking about how they are getting germs from their litter box all over everything. They also used to piss under his bed and in his closet when his room used to be a mess and it’s soaked into the floor so no matter what it stinks. It’s so hard to bring myself to walk around the house without slippers because my feet will get visibly dirty and my socks would get covered in hair. I always think about how my boyfriend sometimes walks on the rugs in the bathroom in shoes and all the germs that spreads. There’s so many more things but this is already getting long and I am shaking just thinking about how unclean everything is. I want to deep clean the entire house myself so I can get it to where It’s not like psychological torture everyday and it’s easier to maintain but I have been so busy I don’t have the time. I am worried about my boyfriend thinking I don’t like living with him or that I think that’s he’s dirty but i don’t. We have had several conversations about this and he’s reassured me that he knows none of my obsessive thoughts are personal but I still feel so bad about it. I would like to get therapy to help work through this but currently that is not an option for me. I know things will get better once I get through the main things in my life that are causing a lot of stress and therefore making my ocd flair up, but I need advice on what to do in the mean time. I keep having moments where all I can do is shake and cry and clean and I feel bad for my poor boyfriend who can only sit next to me and try to comfort me or help me clean. I also don’t want to make him worried that nothing he does is enough for me (i’ve also already talked to him about this and told him about how I can never even be clean enough for myself and that I don’t think he’s dirty). There’s been many times where I want to tell him to do things that I think might be my own unhealthy compulsions (ex. not wearing shoes in the house or in our room, not getting into bed with socks on, making sure to completely dry off before getting out the shower, put makeup and jewelry back where they belong right after using them, etc.) but i can’t tell if they’re reasonable or not and i try to not tell him unless it’s something that severely distresses me. I’m aware that everything is going to have germs no matter what and have been using NER’s to help manage my thought spirals/rumination. I know that I shouldn’t keep doing compulsions because it just offers temporary relief and makes the problem worse because nothing will ever be enough. I just feeling so overwhelmed and hopeless and exhausted and want some feedback.
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