- Date posted
- 2d
- Date posted
- 2d
I relate! I’ve been in a relationship for over 7 months, and I have gone through/am going through pretty much those same thoughts. I’ve been practicing ERP and my advice is for you to practice the same. Expose yourself to the worst case scenario. “Maybe she’s ignoring me to hurt me. Maybe she’s not.” Or “Maybe she thinks I’ve become too much and wants to break up. Maybe she doesn’t. But I don’t know and won’t let it affect my day.” Tell yourself these things without reassurance! Nothing in life is 100% certain. Ever. But OCD wants answers, which is why it holds onto those thoughts! If you practice sitting in uncertainty, eventually, those scary intrusive thoughts won’t bother you as much. Sending love and support! You’ve got this! 🙌🏼
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- 2d
@notspiderman thank you so much for your suggestions!! i’ll definitely try out those ERP phrases
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- 2d
I am not yet diagnosed but i completely relate to how you feel and I hope you know you aren’t alone and it isn’t your fault. I get intrusive thoughts that my girlfriend is mad at me, she’s ignoring me on purpose, our relationship isn’t how it should be; which then leads to me feeling guilty about questioning our amazing relationship and putting all this pressure on her and then I worry I’m clingy and overwhelming her and she feels trapped. Despite what our brains tell us, our partners are not mad at us and are not mad at our anxiety. It’s sm easier said than done, and past experience can make it harder, but talking to her for reassurance can really help you calm down and won’t burden her like your OCD tells you. I also recommend ERP which has really helped my mom and my uncle who also has relationship OCD. I have no experience with it but am starting soon. Sorry for mini vent but just know I relate to your struggles and we are not alone. We will only grow from here, despite bumps in the road. I’m rooting for you dude🙏
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- 2d
@RudyValenzuela tysm! sorry to hear you’re struggling with the same stuff, but you’re right, we will grow :) you got this!
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- 2d
I’m not in the exact same situation but in a similar one. Today I broke up with my boyfriend because I have such heavy anxiety and needed space to get better and start my medication for this. However, I was in love before him with someone else and they never really cared about me back, at least not in the same way. So now that I have been moved properly I’m not used to this and feel overwhelmed by the love but also scared to lose it. Even though we broke up I’m hopeful that we could potentially reunite in the future. Your past does not define your future, you are capable of being loved properly :)
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- 2d
@cmax20 breakups suck so much, i’m so sorry :( but i’m so glad that you made the choice to put yourself first and tend to your needs. thank you so so much, i wish you the best of luck while healing
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I’ve just recently found out that Relationship OCD is a thing. I feel like I relate but it also feels like relationship trauma. I’m in a fairly new relationship and I keep telling myself that things are going great, we are good, he cares for me, but does he? There’s this unbelievable amount of self doubt that sits in me because of what my ex did to me many months ago. I kept getting told that I do too much, i smother, need constant reassurance, then got told that I don’t care enough, the things I do aren’t enough and that I’m not enough. I feel like I am waiting for the day that I get broken up with because of these “problems” just so I can be proven right at the fact that I should be considered unlovable. I go through this every month around my period because I get so emotional and nervous that I stress over the idea that he doesn’t like me. How does someone continue a relationship with Relationship OCD? How do I explain it?
- Date posted
- 19w
For the past 3 months ish I’ve been struggling on and off with this anxiety and fixation over my relationship. To wondering if i still have feelings for an old friend, wondering if i actually love him, wondering if the thoughts are all real and im just trying to cover it up with ocd. It sucks, when im talking to my boyfriend i feel fine. The words i love you and talks about the future come naturally. I can’t imagine myself with anyone but him. But this constant rumination on my relationship is KILLING me and I’m scared it’s going to ruin what i have. It makes me numb and disconnected which therefore makes me believe the thoughts even more. They just feel so real sometimes and it’s so scary like why can i not just enjoy it. We’ve been together for a while so i know there’s periods of like feelings ebb and flowing but this is so much more. It’s just constantly sitting on my chest with anxiety. My compulsions are coming on this app, looking at photos of us and confessing it to him. He’s very understanding and helpful. I love him so much. I just need help / I’m also just starting new meds as well ..
- Date posted
- 9w
I’ve been really struggling the last week and I need some help. I’ve been seeing a guy for about 2 months who checks a lot of my relationship boxes. He’s so kind and we have a lot of fun together. The first few weeks I was totally smitten but had moments of fear about being committed. We talked about it and decided to take things slowly, and then I would have days of feeling like every thing was perfect with some fearful feelings in between. Two weeks ago now my SO-OCD and ROCD started to come back a little as well as my more anxious-avoidant behaviors. I started to get more scared of the future and it was more intense. At the end of last week, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. He is exactly the type of person I see myself marrying and has great values and is so secure about me. Until last week, he generally made me feel so safe and secure. Ever since saying yes, I feel so scared and anxious and my SO-OCD and ROCD is on max. I also find myself getting more annoyed and irritated about things that were minor annoyances or non-issues before. I’m having intense physical responses to both OCD themes, and the nagging thought and feeling that I need to end things with him because we aren’t right for each other. It makes me feel so sad and guilty. Sex is becoming harder because of the thoughts too, whereas at first it was perfect. I don’t know who I can talk to about this without them telling me to just break up with him. Everything is so new so I think they’d chalk it up to my intuition. But I do want to be in love and have less fear around relationships, so I don’t want to give into the fear. I think it could help me to set boundaries and have space for myself more often. I think I need some advice or insight. I know I shouldn’t ask for reassurance, but having some around how other people have felt at the beginning of a relationship would help. Why is it that the label is freaking me out so much? How do you guys set boundaries to prioritize yourself when you feel this way?
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