Does anyone have advice for dealing with a breakup. This hurts so bad and my brain is torturing me. OCD makes it so much worse. It’s been a month already. I need to start letting go but can’t stop. Any advice for letting things go .. ?
I can’t help with the relationship aspect as I’ve never had one before but I can tell you that most of the letting go comes from letting those memories or thoughts flow without you latching on just accept that they have happened and that they’re not happening anymore and that you can move forward with yourself. Hope any of that helps you can get through this.
What may be helpful is writing a letter to the person but NOT sending it. Get all your thoughts and feelings out! Then, crumble it up or destroy it. Another one is a meditation designed for working through feelings from a breakup. I believe there’s some on YouTube. All in all, I am so sorry for your pain and breakup. Give yourself grace and take your time to heal!
Hi love, I’m in the same boat as you. I am so so sorry you’re going through this. I know how difficult this is. I wish I could fast forward you to the months where things get exponentially better for you, because they will. I know maybe that’s considered reassurance giving, but I’m just trying to say it’s not going to be like this forever. I promise. I got broken up with through text in April lol. You are absolutely NOT alone. First thing, allow yourself to feel and grieve the relationship. It’s obviously gonna take some time of course, but don’t shut those emotions out. The best thing you can do is just let it out if you’re sad. Something I did was honestly remove my ex-boyfriend on all social medias and I did a little bit of its social media detox and stayed off it for a few weeks/a month. Honestly, I also just got tired/icked out of seeing him repeatedly post pictures of himself flexing at the gym LMAO. If you don’t feel comfortable doing this right now, that’s totally ok too. I just found that his stuff would still pop up on my feed when I’m trying to heal and OCD would make me check his reposts/posts. I just didn’t feel like doing that anymore, and I feel so much better after that I made that decision. Instead of compulsion, the best thing that you can try to do is to engage in a good distraction activity. Pretty much do something for yourself that will benefit you. Maybe there’s something you’ve been holding off on doing, like a new hobby you’ve been wanting to pick up, or you wanna call a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while, or maybe you wanna apply for a job; whatever interests you and brings you happiness even a little, you do that for yourself. Break ups, especially for people with OCD can be absolute worst because you’re going from talking/being with someone every day, to not at all, which is a change in routine and that can be scary. However, it doesn’t mean it isn’t manageable and that we can’t do it. We are just as strong, if not, stronger than most people. Your OCD is probably going to make it about your self worth like it did with mine. But you have to remember, you are not your thoughts. Thoughts are just feelings, they aren’t facts. Every time you think about your ex, try to think about three things you like about yourself. I know this could sound corny, but you deserve to be kind to yourself. Break ups are no joke. Think about what your compassionate self (aka what you see as the best version of yourself) would want you to do. What helped me during my break up was write what my compassion would want me to do to achieve my goals in the journal section of NOCD, and then record a loop tape and listen back to it as an exposure. It has helped me so much. You are never alone, and don’t forget - eat three meals a day, drink water, go outside, and talk to your support system. I know this is cliché advice, but in the midst of emotions, OCD can make us forget to take care of our basic needs. I hope this helps.❤️keep us updated
It takes time, sometimes a very long time. The only advice I have is don’t speak to them and never get back together
First off - I’m sorry, I post here a lot. My thoughts are going to be scattered because I have the adhd/ocd/executive dysfunction wombo combo. Im so embarrassed I am THIS neurodivergent. I swear my brain couldn’t pick one struggle and settle with it. I’m not making these diagnoses quirky personality traits by any means, in fact, in this post im venting about how exhausting and embarassed I am living with a brain like this on the daily. I need to hear someone’s advice please. I love hearing everyone’s advice on posts because it’s so useful, and brings me back down to reality. Everyone on here gives advice so tastefully in a way where it doesn’t feed into the self reassurance compulsion, but it’s also been thorough and constructive enough where it’s reminded me to ground myself in a healthy way. I love seeing others helping others, it soothes me. This community has been so kind, and I’m so happy I found it. I wish I could ask more, but I have so many questions I think it’d drive everyone here crazy lol. I am doing erp therapy now, and it’s been teaching me so many amazing techniques. I’ve been making progress. However, I sometimes have my moments of vunerablity. I’ve been experiencing this especially now more than ever because I am going through a breakup. He did it through text after nearly 9 months together. I’d do anything for him and love him through anything, and he broke my heart when I least expected it. I’d make his bed for him multiple times, but I haven’t done that for myself in years. I’d sit with him for hours to watch and do anything he likes, but he’d never do the same and I’d never do the same for me. I’m also at fault because I was too scared to speak up so I let a lot of disrespect slide. Why did my ocd do that? Why does ocd make me people please even when I don’t want to? Why does OCD make me care so much about things that will never effect me (like wanting validation from a random person on the street and hoping they’ll think I’m pretty enough to look at), but then when it comes to my future or positive wellbeing (like focusing on college/doing well in classes/personal hygiene/health), forces me to not care/neglect myself and those needs? I don’t understand it. Ocd makes me think everything’s a setup or a trap. I can never believe that I am fine right where I want to be. Why am I so hard on myself? Why do I even think this much? I care and feel so deeply but it becomes unhealthy so fast because ocd makes me fixate and I stay there for a while. For some reason I let this breakup define my self worth. I let it topple into the ocd fear that I will never make it in life - that I won’t be successful, I’ll never get the career I want, the love I want, or the life I want. My OCD’s version of “logic” isn’t even logical. Yes, I understand how the breakup means feelings of low self worth which will then topple into feeling bad about other things. But why has my brain been wired to think this way? Why does it seem so easy for everyone else to function normally with life but not me? Honestly this is the first time in my life where I’m dedicated to focusing on myself and learning more about myself instead of others in my life and it’s a very odd and bizarre feeling. I’m excited of course, but I’m also scared. My ocd makes me ruminate like “what if I will never make the most of this life I’ve been given”, “what if I truly have no worth and the most I will ever be in other people’s lives is a background character”, “why do I care if I’m a background character or not? I should feel guilty and ignorant for assuming everyone will automatically like me”, “are people lying to me when they call me pretty, smart or kind?”, “I need to look and sound perfect in both pictures, videos and in real life. I will never be satisfied for accepting who I am now”, and a bunch of other annoying questions. But sometimes it’s like I just can’t take the reality for what it is but at the same time, but I also acknowledge that I know this is ocd talking. This is so, so difficult. Do I make any sense with what I’m saying? Can anyone help?
Hi - I’ve made a series of posts about my situation over the past few weeks. My bf asked to take a break from our relationship through text the first week of April. We haven’t spoken since. There’s a lot of outward details to this but I’ll try to keep it as simple as possible. My ocd is telling me the worst of the worst. He left me with full uncertainty because he didn’t give me a reason, and his decision felt like it happened overnight and I’m still so confused. He’s never been in a relationship as serious as this before. I’m incredibly hurt and angry, and my emotions get worse on Saturday and Friday nights because that’s when his frat parties happen. I do ERP phrases but my stomach hurts and it’s churning so bad. I deactivated/deleted social media apps for now because it’s too much. I just wish this physical feeling would stop. Does anyone have tips?
My partner broke up with my about 10 months ago. It came out of nowhere, and I got no explanation before they ghosted me and blocked me on all forms of contact. I have been horribly struggling since then with this obsessive need for closure. For a while I continued to try to reach out to them, on my own accord or through other people, but it just kept ending with more blocking. For months, I was going through the relationship and the breakup in my head over and over, picking it apart to try and figure out what went wrong, but without a conversation with my ex, I couldn't get anywhere. I am definitely doing much better now. the compulsions to reach out to her and the spiral obsession with figuring out what went wrong have both lessened. but they are still present, especially when I sleep. I really just want to be rid of the whole situation, but i want to do it in a healthy way without locking up my feelings. i really am at such a loss though. i still want answers and i still miss my ex in a lot of ways, but at the same time, the though of running into them scares the shit out of me. ive heard some horrible things about them since then, and how they have been spreading rumors about me behind my back. the situation cant seem to get any worse and it just keep happening. and it makes my ocd triggers so much worse too. idk, i will take literally any responses and any helpful advice.
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