Resisting compulsions feels so wrong and dangerous, I’m trying my best but the anxiety of doing so is immense. Especially because my brain is still not allowing myself to believe that my obsession is OCD, it wants me to believe it is a threat, so even calling my compulsions “compulsions” is making me anxious because that is me calling this whole thing OCD and not real if that makes sense?
That’s so OCD trying to fight back. I try to see the OCD as a big bully that doesn’t want us to get our way or our life back. ERP is the key to freedom in my eyes. I have severe OCD and had to do multiple ERP practices that were very overwhelming at first. But overtime I learned to deal with the discomfort and the anxious thoughts and that uncomfortable feeling by just sitting there and doing nothing about it. But it’s like a muscle overtime the more and more you do it the stronger you get. Don’t get me wrong we will have setbacks, but just brush those off and keep stepping forward. Keep fighting keep moving forward. And don’t stop resisting. OCD wants us to give in. Don’t let it win.
Trueeee! That's so relatable. I try to remind myself that yes- resisting compulsions feels like a risk but the biggest risk of all is missing out on life, avoiding things you love and feeling miserable forever by constantly giving into the Ocd compulsions Btw If you ever do wanna try out self-ERP, you can start off with tiny exposures so you won't feel overwhelmed. Conquering those will build up your confidence to do bigger exposures :) Just always make sure not to do exposures that you feel you can't handle.
Yes, it makes sense. I always believe that my compulsions are important. What helps me is to prepare, not decide in the moment. I make plans for how I will respond, I plan exposures. Are you in therapy?
@Estrid Not in therapy as I can’t afford it and OCD therapy isn’t really available free on the NHS in the UK. I’ve thought about doing self-ERP before but am very scared so mostly just cope with medication but then I get a flare up every so often like now and I think I’ll never get through it, so my current plan is to just keep resisting compulsions and hope that this episode will pass
@CalicoCat It's hard. Sorry you can't afford treatment. Maybe find some selfhelp book to use. I have worked very much on my own before I got therapy. It's important to not whit knuckle through the exposures - I love Kimberley Quinlans saying "lean into the uncertainty" - and make space for the emotions. If we struggle with the anxiety it gets worse. Also: take it one step at a time, abd be kind to yourself. If you are determined you can do hard work on your own. Wishing you the best.
So maybe the title wasn't the best to to put it but when you guys start having obsessive thoughts how do you stop them before it turns into compulsions and anxiety?
When I was a child, before I knew this was OCD, I struggled with constant "magical thinking" compulsions (don't step on the crack or mom's back will actually break, etc). When I later learned this was OCD, it almost immediately solved it. Any time I got a magical thought, I would say to myself "that's just an OCD thought. ignore it." and it just stopped coming! Like seriously it fixed the magical thinking stuff forever. But of course the OCD has resurfaced in other ways. So naturally, I've tried to use the same strategy since I had so much success with it previously. But I wonder sometimes if telling myself "that's just OCD" is almost functioning as a reassurance compulsion? I hate how meta this gets. For example, I have ROCD that comes and goes. So sometimes I'll get a thought like "what if i'm still in love with my ex?" and then I'll tell myself "that's obviously just an ROCD thought" and will feel relief, almost like reassurance. But it comes back. So is telling myself that it's OCD a reassurance compulsion ?? It's just so weird because it worked so perfectly as a kid with the magical thinking thing.
OCD isn’t just about compulsions—it’s a mental battle that can be completely exhausting. The anxiety, doubt, and pressure to "get it right" can feel unbearable, especially when others don’t understand what’s happening beneath the surface. What’s the hardest part about living with OCD that others don’t see?
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