If you truly aren''t homophobic you wouldn't be afraid of being gay unless in very specific cases of bisexual cycling, what is the difference?
I understand your point of view š Hereās my take on this: Having a significant change in your life (like someoneās sexuality) is often scary in general. Add Ocd into the mix- and it becomes extra terrifying. OCD naturally sends us a lot of doubt, anxiety and fearful feelings and thatās not our fault. Itās just part of having the disorder. Itās scary to be extremely doubtful that youāre a whole different identity that you actually are not in reality. Iāve even seen a story of a gay man with sexual orientation OCD and he was terrified of becoming straight and having to break up with his male partner. Would we call him āstraight-phobicā? No that would be silly š We would be sympathetic towards him. So why do straight people with the same exact Ocd theme get called homophobic and they are criticized? (Because the two situations are pretty much the same, just different sexualities involved)
its not necessarily a fear of being queer in any way, more so that maybe the life you are living is a lie and what you thought you knew, you actually dont. for me, its terrifying that I may be a lesbian because I have a male partner and i love him, but the scary thing is "what if I'm experiencing comp het and I dont actually love him." the idea around it is still that fear a of uncertainty, but its focused on your identity and would often change the meaning of your relationships. Great question though, because HOCD often gets misunderstood and people are scared to speak out about it for fear of sounding homophobic or worried that it makes them bad person. The same thing can happen with gender identity too!
Sexual orientation OCD isn't always a straight person who's scared they might be gay. There are people on here who *are* gay and are scared they might be straight.
Yes but straight people never receive marginalization on the basis of identity, a gay person's OCD about sexuality would be from self-doubt whereas a "straight" person anxiety and shame about the possibility of being homosexual.
@HenryT I mean, I know there are people whose SOOCD is rooted in homophobia (I've encountered them on here LOL), but it's not fair to say it always is. I think it's more often about fear of one's sense of self changing and not fear of being gay.
but I am also queer, and one thing that helped me through this is to realize that I dont necessarily connect with lables, and trying to put myself into a box didn't help my need for certainty and reassurance that it was the "right" thing to call myself.
Iāve been struggling with HOCD for years, and it started with an intrusive thought about being gay when I was younger. It came up at age 12 and ever since, Iāve been trapped in a cycle of doubt and anxiety. I obsess over whether or not Iām secretly gay, even though I donāt feel that way at all. What makes it worse is the fear that I might have internalized homophobia, and thatās why Iām having these obsessive thoughts. I worry that my anxiety is a sign that Iām repressing something or rejecting part of myself. It feels like my mind keeps repeating the same questionāam I gay?āand no matter how much reassurance I get, the fear doesnāt go away. I used to pray for my family members, fearing that if I didnāt, something bad would happen to them, and now it feels like I have to control these thoughts, or something will go wrong. For a while, it was quieter, but a week ago, the thoughts spiraled up again, and now the anxiety feels overwhelming again. Itās exhausting, and I donāt know how to break free from this constant loop of doubt. Has anyone dealt with the fear of internalized homophobia alongside HOCD? How do you manage the anxiety that comes with it?
This shit has to be one of the most confusing subtypes of ocd because no matter what you will never find clarity. When it started it wasnāt as bad and confusing because it was mostly anxiety. But when it started getting physical thatās when it got extremely confusing because I feel tension and fear when thinking of gay stuff but while testing I get arousal sensations so the big question is āif I am afraid of it how can my body respond as if Iām into it and if Iām into it how does my body respond with fear as if Iām notā and itās endless. I wish I never started testing my arousal so I never started getting groinals to gay stuff in the first place. But thereās no going back now.
Is anyone here actually gay and has/had sexuality or religious ocd? I don't have it at all haha I'm a lesbian myself without socd or religious ocd but I'm just curious: what's it like and how did you deal with the whole "biggest fear coming true" thing?
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