If you truly aren''t homophobic you wouldn't be afraid of being gay unless in very specific cases of bisexual cycling, what is the difference?
I understand your point of view š Hereās my take on this: Having a significant change in your life (like someoneās sexuality) is often scary in general. Add Ocd into the mix- and it becomes extra terrifying. OCD naturally sends us a lot of doubt, anxiety and fearful feelings and thatās not our fault. Itās just part of having the disorder. Itās scary to be extremely doubtful that youāre a whole different identity that you actually are not in reality. Iāve even seen a story of a gay man with sexual orientation OCD and he was terrified of becoming straight and having to break up with his male partner. Would we call him āstraight-phobicā? No that would be silly š We would be sympathetic towards him. So why do straight people with the same exact Ocd theme get called homophobic and they are criticized? (Because the two situations are pretty much the same, just different sexualities involved)
its not necessarily a fear of being queer in any way, more so that maybe the life you are living is a lie and what you thought you knew, you actually dont. for me, its terrifying that I may be a lesbian because I have a male partner and i love him, but the scary thing is "what if I'm experiencing comp het and I dont actually love him." the idea around it is still that fear a of uncertainty, but its focused on your identity and would often change the meaning of your relationships. Great question though, because HOCD often gets misunderstood and people are scared to speak out about it for fear of sounding homophobic or worried that it makes them bad person. The same thing can happen with gender identity too!
Sexual orientation OCD isn't always a straight person who's scared they might be gay. There are people on here who *are* gay and are scared they might be straight.
Yes but straight people never receive marginalization on the basis of identity, a gay person's OCD about sexuality would be from self-doubt whereas a "straight" person anxiety and shame about the possibility of being homosexual.
@HenryT I mean, I know there are people whose SOOCD is rooted in homophobia (I've encountered them on here LOL), but it's not fair to say it always is. I think it's more often about fear of one's sense of self changing and not fear of being gay.
but I am also queer, and one thing that helped me through this is to realize that I dont necessarily connect with lables, and trying to put myself into a box didn't help my need for certainty and reassurance that it was the "right" thing to call myself.
Can sexual orientation ocd make you act on your fears and make you have same sex experiences ever and then after the experience realize thatās not what you are or want?
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I donāt want, and then tries to convince me that I do. Itās painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I donāt want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but Iām terrified that one day Iāll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. Iāve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that Iām "bisexual." Iāve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge meātelling me, āYou donāt even know what love feels like.ā It wonāt shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that Iām a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
Is anyone here actually gay and has/had sexuality or religious ocd? I don't have it at all haha I'm a lesbian myself without socd or religious ocd but I'm just curious: what's it like and how did you deal with the whole "biggest fear coming true" thing?
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