- Date posted
- 11w
Irrational fears as a mom.
Hi everyone, this is giving me so much anxiety even saying this out loud because my OcD is telling me that somehow someone will know who I am on here and report me this goes with what Iām about to say about my irrational stuff. Since my baby was born Iāve had a lot of majorrr anxiety about him getting sick. From there my postpartum ocd spiked. I had this irrational fear someone would falsely report me as a bad mom and Iād get my baby taken from me. Iāve NEVER had anyone tell me Iām a bad mom, as a matter of fact, almost every day I get praised for how good of a mom I am. My child is so loved and taken care of. So why did I have that fear? it CONSUMED ME. Obsessively cleaning my house in case a social worker came. Stopped posting myself having occasional girls nights out for dinner because I thought one of my followers would think Iām a bad mom for getting a break. Not being able to talk about ANYTHING or send pictures of my baby to family and friends to update them since we live out of state because somehow I thought I would say something wrong or do something that would make someone think Iām a bad mom. I was convinced my baby was gonna be taken for zero reason. I still sometimes catch myself over analyzing myself and what I say because I donāt want to say the wrong thing and someone think Iām not a fit mom. I would even replay every scenario I remember and then second guess myself if that really happened or if I said something or not and freak out and spiral from there. with driving, if I go over a speed bump I have to double check it wasnāt magically a person. Then I panic even though I know for a fact it was a speed bump. I hate living like this. I feel crazy. I donāt open up because I feel like Iām the only person in the world. The one time I opened up about driving it was used against me. I feel like Iām drowning and Iām failing as a mom. I donāt even open up to a therapist about my irrational fear about baby being taken bc I donāt want them to think Iām a bad mom. It just doesnāt stop.