Heart broken: my ex bsf started dating my ex bf

My ex best friend started dating my ex boyfriend. And me and the boy are in the same church so this is awkward. My heart is broken, not because he’s with someone else but the fact that it’s with her. I look back at every moment the three of us spent together and just wondering if they liked each other when me and him were together. I’ve lost all self respect, I keep stalking them on social media and I’m so mad at myself because I know that I’m letting them hurt me more but I can’t help it. I also still have my ex bsf location and I checked it today and saw that she was at my ex bf’s little brother’s baseball game, this hurt because me and him used to do that together, also me and his family are still close because of church so I have a soft spot in my heart for his little brother. I just feel like my whole world is upside down, I’m so confused. I’m trying so hard not to resent them, I try and remind myself that they are still God’s children. But I still find myself full of bitterness. I’ve been processing everything for about a month and I have tried tons of things to heal: put all of the items he gave me in a box, go to a rage room, visit the temple, journal, pray. Each of these things have helped a ton, but I still have a lot of pain. I know that this is all part of God’s plan but it’s still painful, I just need to remember that this pain is temporary and will help me grow as a person. I just wanted to share this and maybe get some advice on how to heal from a broken heart. I know this isn’t really OCD related but I just really needed to share this.

anonymous070323

Date posted: 19w

girl don’t lose respect for yourself lose respect for them. block them on everything and let them do what they do, you are better off without both of them. sending you love, i know how awful this feels. i’ve been through something so similar. 🫶🏻🫶🏻 you will find something better. i promise.

JesusLovesYou13

Date posted: 19w

@reese.04 Thank you so much this means a lot to me ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

JediMJ

Date posted: 19w

Please block them or delete them on everything. Right now. Really. I’ll wait. 🙂 I honestly think that’s the best thing you can do for yourself—set strong boundaries. The temptation is too great. And also, I’m so sorry this happened to you. You didn’t deserve this. Feel your feelings. And yes, the pain is temporary, but this is a betrayal and you are grieving a loss. It’s okay to feel resentful and bitter and hurt and sad. Let it out. It sounds like you have been working on that with journaling, etc. Good job. The other advice is to have new experiences. When I had a difficult breakup, I knew my tendency would be to hide in my house and feel lonely and depressed. Instead, I dragged myself out. (Apparently there’s a name for this—opposite action. Doing the opposite of what your feelings tell you to do.) I did not really want to go out, but I didn’t want to sit home and feel sorry for myself less. Find an event or group to check out. I’m an introvert so this wasn’t easy for me. I told myself I could just go for a little bit and if I hated it, I could leave. I went to a contra dance, a peer support group meeting, an art class at the library, etc. It really helped me get out of my head and be in the moment. A year+ later I still contra dance because I found something I really liked and a wonderful group of people. Maybe you could learn to play a musical instrument or take a cooking class or volunteer somewhere. It’s hard to stay stuck in the past when you are living into your future. You have a good, kind, strong heart and it will heal. Take good care of yourself.

JesusLovesYou13

Date posted: 19w

@JediMJ Thank you so much for your advice, I really appreciate you taking the time to help me. I’ll be taking you up on that advice ❤️❤️❤️

Gmoki

Date posted: 24w

Dealing with breakup pls help

Hi - I’ve made a series of posts about my situation over the past few weeks. My bf asked to take a break from our relationship through text the first week of April. We haven’t spoken since. There’s a lot of outward details to this but I’ll try to keep it as simple as possible. My ocd is telling me the worst of the worst. He left me with full uncertainty because he didn’t give me a reason, and his decision felt like it happened overnight and I’m still so confused. He’s never been in a relationship as serious as this before. I’m incredibly hurt and angry, and my emotions get worse on Saturday and Friday nights because that’s when his frat parties happen. I do ERP phrases but my stomach hurts and it’s churning so bad. I deactivated/deleted social media apps for now because it’s too much. I just wish this physical feeling would stop. Does anyone have tips?

Date posted: 18w

Advice

Does anyone have advice for dealing with a breakup. This hurts so bad and my brain is torturing me. OCD makes it so much worse. It’s been a month already. I need to start letting go but can’t stop. Any advice for letting things go .. ?

qwerty0987

Date posted: 15w

ROCD and breakups

Hey, my girlfriend recently broke up with me and immediately got with a guy she had told me not to worry about. For her side of things, she hadn’t admitted to herself that she had feelings for him but then started thinking she was polyamorous since she says she has feelings for both of us. Since I’m not poly, she decided it wasn’t fair to me if she had feelings for this guy. But it really hurts since 1. I have ROCD and was terrified this would happen 2. They were flirting in front of me the other day after she had assured me she didn’t have feelings for him and 3. They had agreed to date before we had broken up, even if they only made it official afterwards. I can’t help wondering if her feelings for me were all a lie until something better came along, and since this was my first relationship it feels like I’m unlovable. Even if she says she broke up with me because she’s questioning her identity, it still feels like I’m just a side character in the love story of someone else more important and worthwhile. My OCD has really latched onto it all because it feels proven right. Any advice?

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Heart broken: my ex bsf started dating my ex bf

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