OCD_girly
- Date posted
- 14w
Hocd dreams
I know people say ocd can manifest in your dreams. I had a semi sexual dream, in that there was a naked woman and I enjoyed the dream so surely that can't be ocd. Idk this shit is annoying.
tiedyeskytiedyesky
- Date posted
- 14w
I think accepting visual interest and attraction feeling enjoyable without it equalling to be your overall desire and orientation is important here. It doesn't actually mean it's not OCD either, just because it happened in your dream and made you feel a certain confusion or uncertainty. One doesn't automatically rule out the other. The subconscious has a way of reflecting our real emotions, whether it's fear, confusion, curiosity.
OCD_girlyOCD_girly
- Date posted
- 14w
Thank you, I think that makes sense but it's just exhausting to deal with this shit. I automatically go into rumination mode after I wake up
tiedyeskytiedyesky
- Date posted
- 14w
@OCD_girly I have struggled with similarly my whole life and am in a monogamous relationship, married to a man. However, when I was younger had several opportunities arise where I could've explored curiosity and at no point had that desire. So I find females attractive and appreciate the differences in beauty, but I do not have any further desire to be with one! I hope this helps, I'm definitely not a professional but have been able to decipher my orientation to being a pan/demisexual. You can have visual attraction and it not be any more due to no emotional connections. Sexuality is a huge spectrum so allowing yourself to explore it without restrictions is important until you're sure of it, and even then it can be ever changing
OCD_girlyOCD_girly
- Date posted
- 14w
@tiedyesky I feel like I have a hard time accepting that it's a spectrum because of my upbringing (eastern European immigrant) gender roles and orientation are very rigid. I've never felt an emotional attraction or romantic one to a woman and always liked men but I can see myself visually being attracted. I also have vaginismus which made me feel like that was some sort of sign I didn't like men and then with the hocd starting last year, it made me feel like I wasn't even attracted to men anymore. I became hyperaware of women. I'd be OK being bi honestly but it just socks because I was in a relationship when it started and it really affected that.
anonymous00001anonymous00001
- Date posted
- 13w
I’ve been through this before too, I’m sorry you’re struggling. As some other commenters said, visual attraction is very human and I think we try to put our sexualities into black and white categories too much almost. If you identify as straight but get turned on by women and men, that’s okay. You get to decide what label. I identify as bisexual but that’s just what feels right for me. However, talking about dreams, if you’re worried about something in real life, it’s likely to show up in your dreams. This does not mean the thing you’re worried about is real, it means that you’ve been thinking about it a lot, which is what anxiety and OCD are. That’s the “deeper” meaning: you’re worried about this specific thing. :)
OCD_girlyOCD_girly
- Date posted
- 13w
Thank you so much 💓 It's been literally hell tbh and I'm ok with even being bi but it makes me so sad that it affected my relationship to such a large extent. It is getting better though, I'm learning to cope with it. Thanks for your input and advice 🥺
Related posts
Elliesmith
- Date posted
- 22w
Is this ocd
So my whole life I’ve been heterosexual. I have got hocd so I worry I’m a lesbian when I have no reason to worry about it because im straight ( not that my ocd likes to think that tho lol! ). But there’s this thought I have, How do I know I’m 100% straight if I haven’t tried sleeping with a girl? Bear in mind I’ve NEVER WANTED TO and DONT want too. Hence why it is an INTRUSIVE thought. But the thought is so uncomfortable- I can’t seem to shift it. But i do see that THIS IS OCD & wanting to know for certain. Thats the definition of OCD. I do know that but it’s tough with the stupid doubts!!! Do you guys just live with the unknown / uncertainty. I’m so happy and love my boyfriend and only want to be with him etc. Let me say again, I DONT want to sleep with a girl nor have I ever fantasized about it. But why does ocd want 100% certainty.. I just wanna not have that weird niggling thought.
Vee <3
- Date posted
- 13w
Heyyyy!
So my OCD has been bad lately. I’ve been ruminating and obsessing over my sexuality again. And it just keeps getting worse. I hate it so much. I try to sit with the discomfort but then my ocd does the backdoor spike. And the groinal response is what keeps me looped. It SUCKS. I am not attracted to men, but my OCD is trying SO hard to convince me that I am. There have been days where I’m just so mentally exhausted that I “accept” what my ocd tells me and I just walk around a hollow, lethargic shell. But then I rethink it and I feel better. It feels like I can only find my TRUE self when I tire my nervous system out enough that it literally breaks down and has me suicidal and hopeless. And then accepting my OCD’s “truth” (that I’m attracted to men) feels like a burden and a chore. I woke up today from an OCD dream, tried to go back to sleep, and my stomach kept cramping bc I was so anxious and ruminating over my intrusive thoughts. I’m starting to doubt it being OCD anymore. My brain is too tired to fight and cry about it anymore.
geodrimilis
- Date posted
- 10w
About hocd
This shit has to be one of the most confusing subtypes of ocd because no matter what you will never find clarity. When it started it wasn’t as bad and confusing because it was mostly anxiety. But when it started getting physical that’s when it got extremely confusing because I feel tension and fear when thinking of gay stuff but while testing I get arousal sensations so the big question is “if I am afraid of it how can my body respond as if I’m into it and if I’m into it how does my body respond with fear as if I’m not” and it’s endless. I wish I never started testing my arousal so I never started getting groinals to gay stuff in the first place. But there’s no going back now.
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