I keep seeing random people that are "more" attractive than my gf and it just makes me question everything. I will then go through photos of my gf to validate my relationship. This just sucks. Maybe I am with the wrong person?
So I should not given you any reassurance because that is what ocd loves , but looks are not everything . If it’s just about Looks go buy a nice painting . Now as some thing that could be said about that thought is “maybe i am with wrong person , maybe I’m not or maybe I am with the wrong person but she will do for now “
@Anonymous Very true and wise words 🙏🏼
Honestly you’re never going to know and I have had ROCD with the right and wrong partner. You just got to live and deal with the anxiety with people who know how to help with it. You are going to want to be with attractive people, you’re gonna want an urge to go check them out multiple times, you’re gonna look at people in a normal attractive way and you are going to look up people. But until you start to realise that it is normal to do this and you canmt help who you are attracted to. Until you just rip the bandaid off and know it is comepletly normal even to want and I mean honestly want another person. Which happens even with normal people. You’ll always resist. I was like you and still am. But I just really enjoy the attractiveness of others now and accept they are WAY attractive to my partner. Just accept it
So did you stop resisting and go to the more attractive person? Sorry maybe I'm reading the ending of your response wrong.
@Anonymous I'm still with my partner and I actually had a really strong week with my partner and those thoughts were barely there. I know it'll probably happen again though
@Anonymous I do, and I find nothings happens. A lot of fear but also curiosity and attraction. But I always find myself controlling myself not to put of respect. But you wanna know what else I learnt. We’re humans we gonna do that. How many people do it and not think of it? We can to
@Anonymous I’ve got so much attraction to other women it’s fine. I even like other women over my partner
@Anonymous Love is a choice. You CHOOSE to love them even when you are lying to yourself. That is love choosing when your inner truth or intuition is saying no. Love is a choice, it isnmt a feeling. There are sparks of feelings nd that. But really! Love is like 80% shit and 20% good. Hahahaha
@vincenzokeez That's hilarious lol but true. Doesn't help that my brother said "o I never found anyone else attractive when I was with my partner." I told him he is very much an outlier lol
@Anonymous Yeah it’s a trigger for us to make us go. “Oh god and doubt ourselves” but no. That is a load of BS
@Anonymous I've heard this before too and every long lasting couple I've heard calls BS tbh (25+ years of marriage) some older women specifically in their 70s that I've talked with about their knowledge on relationships said flat out they would check out people all the time and they would catch their husbands and laugh because like @vincenzokeez says they choose their partner at the end of the day.
So this past week I’ve needed to do something’s with group for my school. I have been hanging around more people who are not my boyfriend and now I’m scared I’m losing feelings for him and I am attracted to someone else. Is this normal I have researched and researched and it says it is but what if these thoughts are true? What if there is someone better for me than my boyfriend? Help me please has anyone else gone through this?
it started when i simply worried about my partner losing feelings because she was being a bit distant and so i obviously spiraled and started thinking “oh yeah she has to be losing feelings of some sort” she was only being distant because she was preparing for her confirmation party (this is important) and me and my friend hung out the same day and ended up walking to her house to say hello to her as a joke. but i was already way too deep in my spiral. right after that interaction with her, she literally reassured me right then and there that i was “cute” and that “she really likes me” but i was so caught up in the idea that shes losing feelings for me that i couldnt accept the reassurance and kept having intrusive thoughts that shes lying to me and that she doesnt mean it. but whatever, i wasnt THAT worried because her confirmation is coming up and she wouldnt lose feelings for me before something like that right? a couple days pass by and im at her confirmation party, shes being a little distant but only because shes tired (evidently too) and so i was still in a spiral. but then i met her family, and her mom let me have her number (in case i wanna schedule something with my gf) and that sparked a whole episode. i talked to her mom a couple times and started worrying about if what it would be like it i left my gf and how it would affect me and her family and quickly a thought followed up with all her physical imperfections and how much i dont like specific ones. and then another one came up. i saw one photo pf my partner and swore it looked like someone in my math class who isnt attractive. i managed to get rid of that thought the first time, and had to deal with the imperfections idea thing for a whole month. recently tho, the unattractive girl from my math class is popping up in my head again. i cannot get it out of my head, any advice? what is this phenomenon and also im pretty sure im the only person who has dealt with all of these thoughts.
Really struggling with my ROCD lately. I see anyone attractive and it immediately triggers doubt thoughts. Idk if this ever ends or you just learn to deal with it?
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