Not doing okay

@Someone99 Yes I’ve been working on myself the best I can. I just feel like crying because I’m being avoided and I did something that upset him but I don’t know what I did if he doesn’t talk to me

@Ihateoverthinking2003 You're feelings are valid. Cry as you need to. 🫂 It's frustrating, but you can't force the situation to be different. Hopefully he will talk to you about it soon.

@Ihateoverthinking2003 And I remember talking with you about him before, so I understand a little about the situation. I'm here to talk anytime. :-)

@Someone99 He texted me back finally This is all my fault

@Ihateoverthinking2003 Was it something you did? Or a misunderstanding?

@Someone99 He’s right that I keep overthinking and then one minute I’m clingy. There was two times I did hug or hold his hand if I know deep down I’m not read for any relationship. I then apologized but it happened again the last time we hung out.

@Someone99 I’m not finding pity for me. It’s just that I made a huge mistake and I’ll probably never forgive myself. I really did enjoy hanging out with and everyone else.

@Ihateoverthinking2003 I meant to say didn’t hug or hold his hand

@Ihateoverthinking2003 You'll still be able to hang out with that group, I hope? 😕 And it's a tough thing to hold on to mistakes we make like that. Especially with OCD. We take it to the extreme.

@Ihateoverthinking2003 The overthinking and clingyness can certainly be a form of reassurance seeking, compulsions.

@Ihateoverthinking2003 I'm a disaster in friendships when I'm in an OCD spiral. Thing is, I haven't recognized it soon enough in the past and it cost me dearly. I would like to think I'll be able to recognize it in the future...lol.

@Someone99 Probably not. I hope so but if not it’s okay I guess😞

@Someone99 He told me he’s going to keep his distance because all I do is overthink and then one minute I’m clingy and then I hit him with the “I like you as a friend” he seems really mad. Immediately went into a panic at work. I cried seeking reassurance from my mom,sister and my cousin

@Ihateoverthinking2003 I'm so sorry...😢

@Ihateoverthinking2003 Maybe a little time will help settle things down? Again, I'm concerned about you, your well being in your thoughts.

@Someone99 I have to accept I’ll probably be single as long as I live and I somehow have to cope with that. I don’t know what’s for me in the future though. I really pray he heals from me. No one should ever waste they’re time on me.

@Ihateoverthinking2003 ☹️ I feel these words you wrote right in my heart. Because I've been there too, all too often. It's OCD. Honestly it is.

@Ihateoverthinking2003 I'm here anytime. I asked a couple times about if you were on an a p p, but keep getting f l a gg e d

@Ihateoverthinking2003 Just...please don't isolate, been there too.

@Someone99 I’ll try not to. I was doubting way before I got his number and apart of me was like “don’t start something you don’t want” I gave him a chance anyways and here I am. I feel like I’m in denial and not being truthful. I keep my mind from overthinking and then im calm and then the thoughts rise up again. I told him I just like him as a friend but my actions were different and I told im really really sorry.

@Someone99 I feel so horrible and I hope to get over it soon but when i do something wrong I feel like it’s wrong for me to heal. I feel like Im not allowed to forgive myself and that I should always be in guilt and shame.

@Ihateoverthinking2003 Yeah...that's all part of it. I know exactly what you're going through. My favorite title for myself "the worst person to ever walk on earth". Lol. And there's so many posts on here that are similar. It's a big lie from OCD. We're really, really hard on ourselves.

@Ihateoverthinking2003 It'll be important to recognize the thoughts that are compulsions. The ruminating, like reliving and replaying conversations, etc. Acknowledge them as a compulsion and allow that feeling of uncertainty and anxiety to pass, sit with it and don't continue the compulsion... I learned there's no way to heal, to experience the emotions necessary for us to heal and grow from our mistakes, when I'm in a constant state of compulsions.

@Ihateoverthinking2003 I assure you on the other side of all that, you'll find grace. You're a good person, and valuable, and worth it. 🙂

@Someone99 I really wished I never held his hands nor hugged him and kept it as just friends. I have ruined things and I hate myself for it. At one point I didn’t hug him or hold his hands two different times. I don’t even know what to think. I should’ve never gotten his number in the first place. This is why I avoid relationships altogether because I know the minute in think about it a thought comes up so I reject relationships.

@Someone99 I have to accept that he has right to remove his self. I put myself in his shoes and I would honestly feel the same way you know. It really hurts

@Ihateoverthinking2003 That could qualify as a mental compulsion... Anything like "I always...", "I never...", "I must be..." and so on.

@Ihateoverthinking2003 Yes he does. And what happened, happened. Allow it in your mind to be what happened. You can't re do those moments.

@Ihateoverthinking2003 And it's not an instant fix. This will take time

@Ihateoverthinking2003 That's why I want you to know you can talk to me about it anytime. Like an OCD crisis hotline. 😊

@Someone99 Thank you very much for your help❤️ I feel deep down I’m a bad person. I feel like I deserve everything horrible that happens to me and that everyone else around me deserves good. I really feel like I committed a horrible crimes every time I think of my actions

@Ihateoverthinking2003 Well... maybe you did, maybe you didn't. That's the best way to respond to the OCD. :-). I woke this morning anxious over my "event" that happened 7 months ago...7 months! And it still hits me in waves. But, I apply the response tools I learned in ERP, and go about the day. How's your faith? I know you enjoyed going to church with the group. Do you pray? Are you able to get alone with God, 1 on 1?

@Ihateoverthinking2003 You've become special to me. Thank you. :-)

@Someone99 My faith is great even though I have my doubts but I really do love God. The guy actually texted me and said he’d rather be friends because I’m so confusing and that he’d love for me to go to church with them still. I’m glad we could clear it up. My overthinking really made me feel so bad and I still do because I take accountability for my actions.

@Ihateoverthinking2003 That's great news that there's a friendship that will continue!!! Especially when faith and life in a church is involved. And accountability for your actions is good and necessary, just so the OCD bully shuts the hell up! 🙂💕

@Ihateoverthinking2003 I always like to spend time reading Psalm 51 when I feel I need to deal with my actions.

@Someone99 I will definitely read that

@Ihateoverthinking2003 And I'll pray for you, Bree. My name is Mike, btw.

@Someone99 Nice to meet you mike👋

@Someone99 And thank you I really need it

@Ihateoverthinking2003 Any time. It's an honor and a blessing to me. 🙂 God is so good

@Someone99 Yes he really is❤️

@Ihateoverthinking2003 Have mercy upon me, O God, According to Your lovingkindness That's how Psalm 51 begins. I love that God's mercy is according to Him, His act towards us, not whether or not we feel we deserve it. :-)

@Ihateoverthinking2003 That’s ocd exaggerating …

@Ihateoverthinking2003 Are you doing ok today, Bree?

@Someone99 I read your earlier post about sui**de thoughts. I get it all the time. I wanted to talk with you through it. I'm always here for you

@Ihateoverthinking2003 And well, I have scars as a reminder of my dark past.

@Someone99 - I'm starting to think I manipulated him. I feel bad I gave him mixed signals.

@Ihateoverthinking2003 Ok, maybe you did. You already recognize you made a mistake. He already mentioned what was bothering him and opened up the friendship. It's ok to make mistakes, Bree. It's really important to manage your thoughts at this point. I'm gonna hold on to you best o can so you don't spiral down that drain. You're a good person, you are.

@Someone99 I’m trying to remember that everyone makes mistakes. The thought of manipulating someone really scares me cause I never want to be that way. I was honest with him about my actions though.

@Ihateoverthinking2003 You were. Hold on to that truth. Your OCD thoughts may want to pull you down. Identify them as intrusive thoughts. Acknowledge, allow, separate... That's my basic framework for those pesty thoughts.

@aspureasgreen We already had talks. He really likes me but I have said I like him as a friend

@aspureasgreen We’ve hung out multiple times,going to church and eating out and it’s not just me and him it’s our manager,her son,and his roommate. Then all of a sudden this happens