Ocd relapse

I’m sorry your parents weren’t able to cut you some slack. Maybe they are stressed out too due to the upcoming visit. I agree with you that you are not to be blamed for your disorder. Especially panic attacks they basically just come over us. The fact that your are doing ERP is great, keep up the good work 🙌 Maybe you can also see the upcoming visit as a form of exposure. You already know that your mind will give you anxiety and panic, but you learned in ERP that you are able to tolerate these uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. I do believe in you. We OCD sufferers are strong fighters.

I have emotional and thought contamination ocd and I went through the same hell as a child. Because I would not come out of my room or let anyone in while they were there, I was labeled as being the crazy one in the family and they tried to get me committed without me expecting it. It did not work out for them. The doctor who came to take me away talked to me in private and took my side. She knew what ocd was. I had no idea. My family even less. A few days after I ran away from home forever and it was the most difficult thing I ever had to do in my life and at the same time the best thing. If I stated there I would not be alive today. That was a quarter of a century ago. My emotional and thought contamination ocd usually acts up because I realised that someone is a mean, selfish, backstabbing narcissist and they try to use me and manipulate with me and humiliate me. My ocd tells me, that even if I see their image, their name written somewhere, or someone mentiones them, that if I don't shower everything on me and myself, I will have quarrel and fighting in my life, that something terrible will happen. I am actually cleansing myself from their dirty bad energy. I know, it's nuts, but that is ocd. Good luck.

Thank you for your kind words. I am soooo sorry you had to hear those threats. Mine didn't threaten at all. Out of nowhere they tried to stab me in the back. And my sister with them. No talking, no trying to figure out what was going on with me. Whenever I tried to talk to them, they pretended to listen but I could see they were far away in their own world, not hearing a thing I was saying. I saw hatred in their eyes every single day. Good for you that you had stopped talking to your grandmother. There is no winning with narcissistic people. My mother and sister were/ are both narcissists. My sister so much so, that the mother who is embodiment of selfish and evil adored my sister for being just as evil and manipulative as her or even more so if that is possible at all. But that is not all. My dad was my mother's doormat. She should be awarded an honorary academy award for manipulating and brainwashing him. And to add to that, we lived near my dad's side of the family. Quite a big family. I do not know how to explain this, but every single one of them is a narcissistic manipulative backstabbing condescending evil. When I say evil, I mean evil. Seriously evil. My birth into that family must have been a biiiig mistake made in heaven by God, or by destiny. I am leaving out Karma, because although she is a bitch, I could not have been so bad in any of my past lives to have deserved them as punishment. No way. I am nothing like any of them. I was the black duckling of the family. I was the one they gossiped about, invented stories about, the one they labeled as crazy. And that just because I wouldn't visit them or have them visit me. None of them ever called on my birthday and wished me Happy birthday. Never. Not my uncles, not aunts, not cousins, not grandparents,.... Never wished me a happy new year. They always looked and talked down to me because my mother was from another country and that made me worthless. I was crazy trash and they were each of them the best. I am the only one in the family with ocd. They have no clue what that is. Not even my parents made the effort to find out. But I am also the only one polite, capable of kindness, feeling empathy. I am the only one who loves animals so much that I have been vegan for years. Well, in their opinion that was just another crazy part of me. I agree, no animal can be as bad as a human being can be. My true friends and my only friends are my husband, our three cats that we rescued 10 years ago and all the animals out there that I get the chance to help, protect, save,... I look for good in people. But today more people are like your grandma and my mother and sister and less like you and me. The bad has become normal and the good is weird. I am scared where this world is heading. We should be teaching kids to be kind, polite, respectful, helpful, nice to themselves and others, compassionate and empathetic instead of turning them into cold emotionless backstabbing robots. I hope you find a way to break free from all the threats, insults, coldness in your family. It is difficult to see yourself worthy of anything good if everyone around you is putting you down and walking all over you. Instead of demanding you get yourself together, they should do just that. At this moment they are actually only worsening your health. They are hurting you. You get more than enough stress and anxiety from ocd, more from them is not what you need. Instead of showing love and support and understanding, they are causing you more hurt and worsening your ocd. They are the obstacles on your way to healing. By the way, in two days, it's my birthday. I can never forget, and although I tell myself it's water under the bridge, and it still hurts each year when I remember that the last year at home before I ran away, my father had refused to wish me happy birthday. They were sorry I was born, sorry I was alive. It's been over half of my life since I ran away and had anything to do with them, but it still hurts. I would not admit it to anyone, only to you and my therapist. I had nobody wish me anything good on that day. I was born on the 26th of April by mistake and my true rebirth was on the first of November when I left home and never returned. That day my life became a fight for survival on my own, alone, no money, but it was all worth it because I am still alive. I would not be otherwise. Sending you tons of hugs, support and love. Always here for you. Take care. Stay strong. Love yourself. 🤗😊

If you don’t mind me asking what type of OCD does this Individual make you do? Did that family member say or do something that cause a form of trauma? That caused you to do a OCD to make you feel like to forget that person ?

Family members make matters worse. I had a family member tell me because I’m quiet “ there’s the one who doesn’t talk.” My mom defended me when he said that.

Thank you so so so very much. For all your kind words and wishes. Means the world to me.❤️ That was my dream too. I live now in a town with my hubby and our 4 rescue cats. So it's sort of close. I wish all your wishes became reality as well. So nice to talk to you. Thank you. My day just became more beautiful thanks to you. Not a lot of people remember me on my birthday, so I appreciate everyone who does. Thank you. ❤️💐🤗