What do yall do when yall think of past partners or other people during intercourse with your current partner. I ended up confessing that to my partner and it’s damaging the relationship or making things really difficult. Having a really hard time trying to control the thoughts. I even think of other people while with my partner. Any advice or anyone with similar experience?? Please
Yes, be single and figure out who you are and what you actually enjoy so you can guide your future partner instead of comparing. ❤️
Hi, This has happened to me as well. It is your OCD. You feel so guilty for it, but confessing it to your partner is a compulsion. This happens during intercourse with my husband. It is not that I want another person, it is just a image of another person during it, but so disturbing. OCD usually focuses on the things you most do not want to happen and thinks of all the possibilities that the thing you fear most is happening. I would try to stop the thoughts which made them stronger. You have to leave with the uncertainty of them. I know it is not easy, but it does not mean you love your current partner any less. Honestly, it probably means you love them more and do not want to mess things up and that’s why you are having the thoughts. My therapist recommended some uncertainly statements that have been very helpful for me: 1. Maybe I will cheat on *insert partner’s name” , maybe I won’t. I do not need to figure that out right now. 2. Maybe I am the type of person that would cheat on *insert current partner’s name* with *insert name of past partner, maybe I am not. I do not need to figure that out right now
@Herley@1157 Thank you any more advice or help ?
@brunom1000 Know that you are not alone and you are not the only one that has these thoughts. Many others do too. It is all due to OCD
@Herley@1157 Has those thoughts went away or became less distressing
I will be completely honest I struggled with pocd as well I was terrified but I was just facing it and honestly just made jokes about it and honestly got better with time
@brunom1000 I wish I could laugh at it so bad
When I use the uncertainly statements they do. Just do not let OCD ruin your life or change to throw it in a course that you do not want it to go in. I thought after having those thoughts that I had basically cheated on my husband. I don’t want to divorce him, my my OCD said I should because I already ruined it. I have no desire to do this and I’m not. My husband is amazing. Even if you did end your relationship due to these thoughts OCD is giving you, it would more than likely happen with the next person you are with and then the next one. It’s not you, it’s your OCD. All OCD does it lie
Do you currently have a NOCD therapist?
Yes I do have a therapist I just started therapy. It’s so distressing. I have confessed something to my gf and it’s ruining her mental health and I feel guilty and bad for putting her through all this.
I feel ya
I go through it to but it’s kids names that my partner and I are related to I have POCD and it’s the worst everything intimate I wanna do to my partner my ocd being up those people names or images I feel evil and try to confess it to my partner . And since it’s his family . We get into verbal fights he don’t understand ocd and when I say something POCD I can’t imagine what he think. I hope ocd can be cured some day
@Ocdgirl97 Hi, I struggle with POCD as well. Remember that confessing is a compulsion and cause your OCD to latch on and grow even stronger. Just remember OCD usually latches on to what you care about the most. You probably really care about the children and would never do anything to hurt them and then your OCD latches on to that fear
@Herley@1157 Thank u I appreciate that
I have an amazing fiance, our anniversary is coming up soon and I'm very excited, but my head keeps going back and forth on I love him or actually you don't love him. You hate him. It's so distressing. I keep looking up things to save relationships and comparing our relationships to other people like what am I doing wrong? And anytime I think of it, I also start thinking what if all of this is just in my head and it's not real or I'm just faking all of this. It's constant back and forth and it's making things hard. I'm not texting him as much as I use to and he noticed it. He feels bad and I don't want him to think it's his fault. He's the best fiance I've ever had and I don't want to lose him, but I want these thoughts to go away. Is it even ROCD or am I just losing it? I know I have OCD around food and gross sexual intrusive thoughts but I don't know if it's effecting other aspects of my life (I was only recently diagnosed) Please help, anyone.
I’m sharing this bc I need advice or even support from anyone who can relate. If you can’t relate and don’t think you’ll say anything helpful or kind pls don’t comment anything… I’ve been struggling with somethings that’s making me question myself. There has been moments while self pleasuring when I get intrusive thoughts, in those moments it feels like I’m enjoying or even self pleasuring myself bc of the thought. Right after I immediately have an anxiety attack and my HEART drops bc it feels terrible I feel like a disgusting monster :( ppl have told me I haven’t done a bad bc of how intense my guilt and panic are but I keep thinking that MAYBE I made a horrible decision in the moment and the guilt is just realising that it’s just wrong this doesn’t make sense to me because I’ve always told myself that I would never act on this in 1 million years and I’ve been known that these things are wrong so I’m just like constantly questioning myself these feelings and exact same situation has happened two times already I even promised myself that I wouldn’t act on anything beforehand and yeah, I still felt like I did act on my thought during my alone time I’m genuinely convinced that I’m a horrible and it’s even got into the point where I don’t wanna be here anymore and I don’t even think this is my OCD :( tbh
For the past 3 months ish I’ve been struggling on and off with this anxiety and fixation over my relationship. To wondering if i still have feelings for an old friend, wondering if i actually love him, wondering if the thoughts are all real and im just trying to cover it up with ocd. It sucks, when im talking to my boyfriend i feel fine. The words i love you and talks about the future come naturally. I can’t imagine myself with anyone but him. But this constant rumination on my relationship is KILLING me and I’m scared it’s going to ruin what i have. It makes me numb and disconnected which therefore makes me believe the thoughts even more. They just feel so real sometimes and it’s so scary like why can i not just enjoy it. We’ve been together for a while so i know there’s periods of like feelings ebb and flowing but this is so much more. It’s just constantly sitting on my chest with anxiety. My compulsions are coming on this app, looking at photos of us and confessing it to him. He’s very understanding and helpful. I love him so much. I just need help / I’m also just starting new meds as well ..
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