Rocd

Hi I don’t know but I’ve being having so much stress in my relationship with my boyfriend and I feel like I’m upset at him with small things and taking it out on him like when he looks at other girls or when he repost things with girls it upsets me and changes my mood and people tell me to talk about it with him but I don’t know how to talk to him about it because I don’t necessarily know how I feel I feel mad and upset and I feel like crying but I also just can’t express how I feel and I don’t know what to even say to him to communicate how I feel I found this app by googling”how to feel more stable in my relationship” I feel like I’m not in a relationship sometimes and I just want everything to work out with him but I don’t know what to do I wanna feel like all those relationships you see and feel loved and want to have a future but I don’t know how to get there

miss_anonymous

Date posted: 26d ago

I can somewhat relate to this. It’s frustrating when you don’t know how to express how you feel. I had a hard time with expressing how I felt during my relationship w/ my ex. I was feeling all types of emotions ,but I noticed that I would get triggered when we would fight and theses intrusive words would pop up in my head and I felt like crying bc 1.) idk why this was happening and 2.) I didn’t know how to explain to her my thoughts. At the time I could’ve said , “I’m having a ocd flare up”, but instead I took it out on her.

Rosie💙

Date posted: 26d ago

I feel what your saying because some of the littlest things he does upsets me and I feel like I'm falling out of love but I'm so happy to be with him . I could be talking with him and feel amazing when I'm with him but when I'm not I don't know what to feel and I get stressed when he doesn't answer in 3 minutes and I think he's cheating cause some men do that but I know he wouldn't cause I've know him for years but he helps me and notices if even the littlest thing is wrong by the tone of my voice or moment. But I feel like I'm falling out of love but I'm not and it fucks with my brain

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 26d ago

Girl, this sounds like something I could’ve written a year ago. INCLUDING the googling part. I got into a few heated discussions with my boyfriend because of this. In the end, I came to realize that he’s human. As long as he’s not fully ogling other women or reposting disrespectful content towards me or our relationship, I had to learn to let it go. We’ve been better since then. He’s a loyal man, a good man, I just overthought everything and constantly listened to the little devil on my shoulder spewing venom at my relationship. Add meaning to things that didn’t have meaning at all. I don’t have much advice but I can tell you that for me, it felt like I had to let that trust and security build over time. I just had to be patient. Though, if you think he’s crossing any boundaries that you’ve spoken about, that’s definitely something to try to speak to him about. But my ROCD constantly made me think he was crossing boundaries that he truly wasn’t, so maybe talking to a therapist can help you decipher this a bit?

elise_528

Date posted: 26d ago

@issphra 🫶🏻 Thank you so much this really connected to me so much I appreciate you explaining that how did you let it go I know it’s obvious not easy but how’d you start and do you recommend someone to talk to about this

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 24d ago

@elise_528 I recommend mentioning the OCD and the possible influence it has on your perspective of things to your bf. That’s what I did, and he had a bit more patience because of it. I didn’t even know it was OCD, but I told him my brain felt a little distorted and controlling (OCD loves to distort and control btw). I also recommend therapy, with an OCD specialist so that you’re not given advice that may worsen your OCD. But apart from all of that. Simply delaying talking to my bf about how something upset me, helped a lot. Because I’d process my feelings in that time (maybe not fully but still somewhat) and I could see his perspective a lot clearer. That helped me realize that I was being slightly irrational or blowing things out of proportion. Everything else forward would involve me taking a deep breath and reminding myself that this man loves me, and I want to trust him. I’d remind myself he’s human. And honestly I’d simmer in the angry/discomfort/jealously/sadness before saying anything because it let me think more clearly to give it time. It made it easier to let go when I could see it in better light. I’m trying to think of what else helped but I can’t remember, if I do I’ll comment it. I hope this helped a bit

elise_528

Date posted: 26d ago

I do love my boyfriend and I want us to last but I need help figuring out how I feel about everything and how to come up with good solutions to make us last

Kas_C

Date posted: 15w ago

Relationship OCD

I’ve just recently found out that Relationship OCD is a thing. I feel like I relate but it also feels like relationship trauma. I’m in a fairly new relationship and I keep telling myself that things are going great, we are good, he cares for me, but does he? There’s this unbelievable amount of self doubt that sits in me because of what my ex did to me many months ago. I kept getting told that I do too much, i smother, need constant reassurance, then got told that I don’t care enough, the things I do aren’t enough and that I’m not enough. I feel like I am waiting for the day that I get broken up with because of these “problems” just so I can be proven right at the fact that I should be considered unlovable. I go through this every month around my period because I get so emotional and nervous that I stress over the idea that he doesn’t like me. How does someone continue a relationship with Relationship OCD? How do I explain it?

Songtothesiren

Date posted: 8w ago

Rocd

Does Rocd make it nearly impossible to forgive your partner for anything. Whether it is big or small? My situation is so gray area where there’s something my bf did that I feel like I’m not okay with but he did this when we were first dating (not bf and gf yet). I ruminate all day about it bc I don’t want to lose him and see a future with him and I know he loves me so purely. But I also feel like I’m going against my morals here bc I do feel betrayed by what he did. I try to forgive him by diminishing my feelings and telling myself “he never did anything physical with a girl or went out with another girl while we were together” but still feel so hurt that he even messaged another girl while us dating. He’s given me an explanation and has proved how much I can trust him so I’m just completely stuck on whether I should forgive something I know I would’ve never done to him or leave him even though the only thing he’s done wrong was before us becoming official. I’ve broken up with him countless times over this situation bc I feel like I “can’t live with it” but then immediately when we break up I want him back and I kind of understand his explanation and reasoning. I don’t know what is ocd and what is my real intuition anymore. I genuinely think it’s both. Are any of you guys in the same boat?

Matlock

Date posted: 8w ago

My ROCD is driving me away from my boyfriend

I'm 18, and been in a relationship with my man for nearly 2 years. I started living with him around 2 months ago, and all I do is think about if he's cheating. We were long distance for a year and a half of our relationship, maybe seeing eachother once every month or two. I decided to move in with him, and ever since all I can think about is if he's cheating or watching porn. When he's in another room I think he's doing something wrong, I have to check on him every ten minutes to ease my anxiety. I didn't have this problem before moving in. Granted he has talked to some girls on his phone, even having his ex on his phone (didn't do anything bad) and he is porn addicted though he is getting better for me. It's gotten so bad I want to leave him. A couple days ago I broke up with him and it absolutely broke my heart, I couldn't bare it so I gave him a month to show me he can do better, and for me to work on myself. If I'm still unhappy with us I'm going to leave. I love this boy more than anything. I'm scared to be without him, this is my first real relationship. At this point I refuse to even sleep until he is sleeping. I don't want to start over, I don't want to leave him, but I really can't take this pain it's causing me. It's all I think about. I've convinced myself so many times that he's cheating, but I know he wouldn't. I question whether it's anxiety or intuition. Maybe I just know deep down he really is cheating and I just don't want to believe it. I don't know. I don't think he would do that, but at the same time he's really into women. I hate that he looks at other girls in a sexual way, it bothers me so much, and we talk about it often, but with it being an addiction it's difficult. He has gotten a lot better since we have talked about it. He understands I have an issue and is usually happy to talk about it over and over and promise me over and over that he's not cheating. He allows me to have his phone whenever I want and everything, I have no reason to think he's cheating, but I can't get over it. It's not fair to him either. How do I deal with this? How do I stop hurting so much?

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