Harm ocd

HARM OCD VENT. I feel Terrified. I am so scared that I am going to act on a terrible harm ocd intrusive thought on someone else. The idea, the sensations the urges terrify me because it feels so scarily real. I feel like im a horrible person - a danger and i’m so guilty for having intrusive thoughts. I hate knives, I avoid looking at them in real life, in the kitchen as i’m so terrified that i will do sone thing terrible. I get excited when my boyfriend cones round as i always think he knows about my thoughts so at least he would restrain me if i were to do anything bad. I just feel so scared so guilty. I have this horrible sensation of urge running through my body- currently im on the verge of tears- i feel lost. My ocd has even latched onto pumpkin carving - scared i will do something bad. Now my OCD is just being like “ maybe your avoiding is all fake and your trying to cover your a bad person” “ what if u actually want to “. “ I want to “ “ You arnt actually trying to hard from harmful objects “ its TERRIFYING. please may someone reply - I’m terrified right now its like an intrusive FEELING is in my body. Sorry guys. I NEED reassurance at this point, I don’t know what to do.

I’m having a very bad evening with my intrusive thoughts. I was doing really good dealing with them but tonight one hit me hard. I’ve been having a lot of different intrusive thoughts but I’ll have one occasionally about hurting my mom or my dog who I love and they’re the only family I have in my life. They’re my world. I was helping my mom put away the dishes and I had the big kitchen knife in my hand and my intrusive thought was you could stab your mom. And then my brain said I had a twitch in my hand and that meant I wanted to do it. Let me just say that I wouldn’t hurt a fly. I actually caught a fly in a glass and put it outside instead of killing it this evening before this intrusive thought happened. I’m such a gentle and compassionate and caring person and these thoughts instantly cause me to have a panic attack. And I have no one to talk to them about. I know they’re hard for my mom to hear and I don’t want to be any more of a burden than I already am. I do desperately want to tell her and have her reassure me that I’m not crazy or a psycho. Then my thoughts wander to if your hand did flinch could you be a psychopath. Is hurting someone in you. I know it’s not but I feel like my mind is out to get me and hurt me. I’m working so hard and I thought I was doing so good but I need to know why I have these thoughts. They’re not ok. I need someone to help me make sense of why. I know we aren’t supposed to ruminate but I shouldn’t have thoughts like this about people I love and care about the most in the world.

Hey guys, I am having the worst HARM OCD episode I have had in a while. I am having disgusting, awful intrusive thoughts about harming others. It feels so real. It feels as if I am about to get up and just do it. The worst bit about it all Is I know I feel distressed and panicked. But where the thoughts are actually happening ( in my head) doesnt feel this feeling. This is making it feel worse as it really does feel like Im just going to do it. I am crying my eyes out because I know im petrified and dont want to hurt anyone im so scared. I have this terrible intrusive feeling in my that feels like its justifying the thoughts. Please can someone talk as I am scared Im crying I dont want know what to do I want this feeling gone I am so scared. I tell myself Id kill myself before hurting anyone else, but would i ? What if I actually do want to kill Please respond Im so scared