Lost a fur friend now my ocd is triggered

I’m a dog walker. I connect with dogs 5 days a week. I get very attached to my clients and their spirits. I see dogs as spirit guides and beautiful, loving animals. This week, I have lost a fur friend with whom I grew a strong bond with. All I can say is that death is sudden and I didn’t get much info about the incident. Just a few texts. I felt like John Wick when he lost his puppy, his little ball of sunshine, during dark times. I’ve been struggling to accept this dog’s death. I cried. Wrote in my journal. Tried to rest and clean. Sadly, I can’t stop thinking about what happened. I keep thinking about how I will never get to see him ever again. Signs of spring are here but I can’t enjoy them because I’m preoccupied with ruminating what could’ve possibly happened to him. I keep thinking how this sweet boy won’t be able to sit in the sun with me or smell the new flowers that are blooming. I get pissed because a week ago I saw him and everything was all fine and dandy. Life was good. Now, I’ll even search online as if I can seek answers to tell me what happened. I know I’m grieving. I just want this to be a bad joke. 😞

CalicoTiramisu

Date posted: 23w

Hi, I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through. I'm 95% sure I'm autistic and because of that, I have an extremely tight bond to animals. To be honest with you, my dog's health isn't looking great right now. I'm not at your level of grief because she's still here, but my OCD has made it so I've been mentally prepping for years. I don't know if this is completely right, but I've taken up crocheting and it's helped so much with a lot of my other stressors in life. It's a great repetitive process, there's plenty of beginner patterns out and it only took me around a few days to get the hang of. When I get really upset, I find myself reaching for my hooks and picking a pattern up. By the time I'm done, I feel better and I have something nice to look at. I really recommend it! If you're not into crochet, then just something creative. If you don't have faith in your creativity and don't want to go through the struggle process of not being good enough, try an adult coloring book! They're proven to lessen anxiety because you're focused on something else. You'll should be able to process your emotions better while doing it too!

CalicoTiramisu

Date posted: 23w

If you decide to go through with any of the above, I'd love to hear/see. Let me know if you want any tips too or would just like to share :) best wishes ❤️

iwanttogetbe...

Date posted: 23w

@CalicoTiramisu It’s nice to speak with someone who understands my deep connection to animals. At times, I do feel silly because this dog isn’t my own, he’s a dog I took care of. But in many ways, I did see him as my own because I would board him in my own home and knew him since he was a puppy. I cry for him and say his name out load hoping that my voice will carry through to his spirit in the heavens. 😞❤️‍🩹I know that this too shall pass. It’s just a hard pill to swallow and move on from when your heart has been shotgunned unexpectedly. I do appreciate the advice. I actually have been interested in crocheting actually. I like the concept of a low energy and mindful activity.🙂

iwanttogetbe...

Date posted: 23w

@CalicoTiramisu I will let you know how it goes

iwanttogetbe...

Date posted: 23w

@CalicoTiramisu Also, I’m sorry to hear about your dog’s health. I hope you both enjoy your days together and cherish the time. Take it slow and easy. Love on them as much as you can. 💖

Mar_3

Date posted: 21w

Deceased tenant next door

Recently a deceased tenant was found in apartment next door to my mine. This is an extremely distressing situation and I am unable to let go of replaying the images of a funeral service removing the body through the hallway to the elevator and the super foul odor. This has made my living situation unbearable. I am hoping the landlord may allow me to relocate to another property/unit but my lease is not over for 6 months. They covered one night at a hotel while they ozone the air and hired a cleaning crew. Nonetheless I am immensely obsessed the air is still hazardous and another tenant will be found next to me again! I am compulsively holding my breath, blowing air out my nostrils, keeping the window open then close, spraying air freshener, avoiding the frequency of passing through the shared hallway, not going in the elevator, repetitive looking at the shared wall and their door, not touching the shared wall. Obsessed haunted presence. Obsessed I will get sick and die breathing in the air of the decomposing body. Obsessed with death the fear of the unknowing, what if no one found me like the tenant (7 days), how I will die, when I will die, what happens after death, being buried alive or cremated alive! Fear it’s not in my control! Fear how others will die! When others die! Especially my dog!! Fear I won’t be able to cope when my dog dies!

things_willg...

Date posted: 17w

Grief & Ocd

I lost my brother almost a month ago. if feels like it was yesterday. my biggest worry is when i snap out of the denial stage of this grief , that i’m going to lose my mind. it’s a scary feeling and i don’t know what to do. i’m still in therapy and don’t plan on stopping either but i just worry. i’ve cried here and there but all ive done is keep myself busy and distracted from this. i have my moments - i just am in such disbelief.

vadencollective

Date posted: 11w

My therapist died suddenly last week. I am lost.

We still don’t know what happened to her. Young, healthy, vibrant. I have so many thoughts…I want to know what happened to her. She is the one I would go to for times like this. I feel selfish as well. I’ve been seeing her for ten years. I can’t imagine starting over. So many strong OCD issues that she helped me through. I have lost an important person in my life. My heart and prayers go out to her family.

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Lost a fur friend now my ocd is triggered

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