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I know OCD can be very hard to deal with, but this post is seeking reassurance, which only makes things worse. Here are some helpful tools and resources to help you through this: -The Psychology of Seeking Reassurance: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/reassurance-seeking-ocd-anxiety-how-to-stop-cycle -5 Things To Do Other Than Compulsions: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/five-things-to-do-instead-of-compulsions -Somatic OCD & How To Treat It? https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/what-is-somatic-ocd -What is Rumination? https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/the-rumination-trap -Confessing compulsion vs. healthy sharing: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/ocd-compulsive-confession-vs-healthy-sharing -What’s Pure O OCD? https://www.verywellmind.com/pure-o-primarily-obsessional-ocd-4159144 -Intrusive Thoughts: Images, Sensations, and Stories by Dr. Martin Seif: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-with-a-sticky-mind/202305/unwanted-intrusive-thoughts-images-sensations-and-stories -Therapy in a Nutshell’s Playlist on Panic Attacks: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLiUrrIiqidTWhubkHEJcr6iTLVRxXZmPE&feature=shared -OCD vs. GAD Differences: https://ocdla.com/ocd-vs-gad-7071 -How To Stop Rumination Video: https://youtu.be/CkcspsmLh9k?feature=shared -ERP scripting: https://www.shalanicely.com/aha-moments/erp-scripting-for-ocd/ -Forgiveness for Past Mistakes Video: https://youtu.be/2Lq1Su3mEHw?feature=shared -The Hidden Power of Swearing at Your OCD: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/beyond-the-doubt/201711/the-hidden-power-of-swearing-at-your-ocd -Taking The Power Away From OCD: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/taking-the-power-away-from-intrusive-thoughts -ERP Worry Script: https://www.anxietycanada.com/sites/default/files/WorryScript.pdf -What is ERP therapy? https://iocdf.org/about-ocd/ocd-treatment/erp/ -What’s An OCD Trigger? https://psychcentral.com/ocd/what-is-an-ocd-trigger -Grounding Techniques: https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/grounding-techniques -OCD vs. Anxiety Disorders: https://www.talkspace.com/mental-health/conditions/articles/ocd-vs-anxiety/ -ERP Techniques for Reassurance video: https://youtu.be/D1O3RGnLjRM?feature=shared

I hear how much distress this thought is causing you, and it sounds like OCD is really latching onto uncertainty and self-doubt right now. From what you’ve shared, it seems like this isn’t really about what did or didn’t happen, but rather about needing certainty and reassurance—something OCD often craves. A helpful way to approach this might be to acknowledge the thought without engaging in compulsions like mentally reviewing the past or seeking reassurance. Instead of trying to figure out if you did something wrong, can you sit with the uncertainty and remind yourself that you don’t need to have 100% certainty to move forward?

Hi there! OCD is the doubting disease. I am assuming that you did not do something and now OCD (Not your brain) is poking you with possibilities and you are not sure? For example: OCD is saying "You cheated back then, you were not loyal". Then you think "Well, no. This did not happen". Then OCD comes back and says something like "Are you sure" or "You are just denying this" or "You are just using OCD as an excuse". These are just examples of what that can look like, your experience may have variations that are different from my examples. I use the examples to show how OCD thoughts get tangled up with your own thought process to the point you cannot tell the difference between your thoughts, your reality and OCD thoughts - which then opens the door to believing there is 'meaning' in this thought process and the 'meaning' must be you cheated, otherwise why are these thoughts in your head. If this is accurate, this is exactly how OCD makes us doubt our own thoughts, memories, actions, or our own mind. Can you share more specifics about that thought process? At NOCD we utilize ERP to starve OCD of its fuel by breaking the OCD cycle - specifically addressing the compulsions and disrupting the OCD cycle that weakens the power of OCD over time. I know this can be so distressing and often confusing as we feel powerless in separating ourselves from OCD. I am glad you reached out to the community!

It sounds like you’re experiencing significant distress related to Relationship OCD (ROCD), which often involves obsessive doubts and fears about one's faithfulness, feelings, or the integrity of their relationship. OCD fixates on uncertainty, making you feel like you must figure out an answer to your doubts, but this search for certainty only fuels the cycle of anxiety. This is where Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) comes in. ERP is the gold-standard treatment for OCD, and it involves gradually exposing yourself to uncertainty and discomfort without engaging in compulsions like seeking reassurance from others, mentally reviewing past situations, or trying to “prove” your thoughts right or wrong. Over time, this helps retrain your brain to tolerate uncertainty rather than feeling trapped in endless doubt. I know these thoughts feel very real, but the goal of ERP isn’t to answer them with 100% certainty; it’s to help you learn that you don’t need certainty to move forward.