Anxious ab HIV

Lots of hugs to you. Can I ask you, are you aware of how HIV is contracted? What helps me is exploring the facts of something. My fears are rooted in C-19 because I am a healthcare worker.

I have this same kind of OCD. Constant intrusive thoughts about if I was careful enough during intimacy, what if I got something I’m unaware of even though used protection and get tested after every partner. What if they lied to Me? It has burdened me so badly in the past to where I stopped dating all together and was bed ridden with fear for weeks on end. My body would create false symptoms to go along with the lies I was telling myself. It was the only thing I could think about for weeks on end. While isolating myself from opportunities for intimacy helped in the moment, I realized isolating myself from love long term wasn’t going to be helpful. What has helped me in the past when Im spiraling over which make believe std I have that day, I get tested to ease my anxiety, even when realistically I know I have been safe. Talk with any potential partners you have about their sexual health status. Go get tested together! Use protection. Remind yourself that even people with hiv live long lives. I have general health anxiety, but I believe the social stigma of shame and embarrassment made up surrounding stds is what makes these OCD thoughts feel so powerful sometimes. Remind yourself you are healthy and here right now, with nothing to be ashamed of.

You can follow rules AND do ERP to handle this. Before any new partner, you can get tested- it’s simple and easy and recommended. But make that the only action you do (rule) or else you’ll be feeding the ocd with compulsions. You need to do ERP and sit with the uncertainty and fear and it WILL lessen and leave you less anxious 1. Have rules about actions to take. Do them 2. Do ERP for remaining fears