OCD

I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. OCD has a way of making you believe the worst about yourself, but the fact that you care so much about your impact on your husband shows that you’re a good person. You are not ruining anything—you’re just struggling, and that’s okay. OCD makes you doubt yourself, but you are not your thoughts. With the right support and strategies, things can get better. You are not alone in this!

I am always here for you! It’ll be ok💕

Hi there, thank you for sharing this and seeking support. I know how tough it can be to feel this way. Were you aware that this core fear is incredibly common in OCD? Here's a blog post on the topic, in case it helps https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/common-fears/fear-of-being-a-bad-person

OCD always tries to make people feel like a horrible person or monster who runs everything. That’s what OCD does. OCD lies to us to make us attack ourselves

I feel the same way. I'm ruining my marriage bc of it. I feel like I'm snapping. I can hardly get out of bed. I'm a complete mess. I need a shower and to take care of myself, but I don't have it in me. I feel like I'm going insane! I hope your day gets better.

If you have OCD ask him to be understanding and become familiar with some of the things you are dealing with. There are also lots of good tips on the Patrick McGrath Wednesday night webinar on the NOCD page on YouTube. Or really any NOCD webinar can be helpful. Go ahead and check out some of the videos. In addition you can contact NOCD for a free 15 minute call to discuss further. They can offer more detail than I can here. https://www.treatmyocd.com/about-us/contact-us

That sounds like a really difficult train of thought. I am sorry that you are struggling with that. ERP is a great form of treatment that can help tackle that thought and OCD trained therapists can help assess for OCD/ anxiety and talk with you about all those types of thoughts. You are not alone in this community!