DPDR and edible trip

@Daniel92 Wow thank you spending so much time to write this for me and help me feel so related to🥹❤️‍🩹. I’m so glad you’re okay now! You’re super kind!! I appreciate your tips. I have a bunch of questions, do I ask you here in the comments?

@townertakyla Yes, sure. Ask here.

@Daniel92 How did you know it was OCD? Were there signs earlier in life ? Do you feel like you can live a full happy life with OCD most people seem so dreadful and down with it, but a lot of them do post on Reddit a lot. Why do you still feel you get agoraphobia from time to time, is the DPDR completely gone? How did you cope with feeling like everyone else was fake or made up. I dealt with the dp but now the DR is really bothering me!! I try not to argue with the thought but it tugs at everything I care about. How long did it go on before you felt free? How did you stay encouraged throughout the process, how did you get over the fear of developing other mental illnesses like fear of schizophrenia, etc. the thoughts run through my mind all day and ruin my mood. Suck me out of conversation and everything. How do you accept it and move on? With dp I kind of just let it go, but it seems like with DR it feels like nothing is real so nothing matters because it feels like life is a figment of my imagination. How do you stop hyperfixating on a solution and painful rumination on intrusive thoughts? How do you stay positive ? I often get stuck on the Derealization because even as I type this I keep having the thought that none of this is real and I’m making everything up. Disregard if too personal (do you take meds, or did you take meds while going through DPDR, if so how do you deal with the side effects).When my insurance is back on I plan to get a full psych evaluation and try to find the best kind of treatment but as of now I kind of have to wait and just keep seeing a counselor. Sorry for the loads of questions, thank you

@townertakyla I didn’t know it was OCD at the time. I know now being that I have multiple diagnoses and I’m much, much more aware of what OCD is and what its characteristics are. Oh yes, I had major signs of OCD as a kid when I look back. My parents definitely missed it. I had severe phobias that other kids my age didn’t have. For instance, I was so scared of getting ill that I avoided most foods and only ate cereal because it was “safe” to me. I would have to do things like flip a light switch a certain amount of times because I’d feel that something “bad” would happen to me if I didn’t. Weird things like that. I do think you can live a full and happy life with OCD. It seems to come in flares for many people. I’m currently in a bad flare, which is why I’m on the NOCD app. before my current flare, I had probably the best years of my life (so far). So it comes and goes. You have to keep in mind that most of the time when people with OCD are talking about it, they’re in a bad flare up… so it’s all doom and gloom. They typically don’t need to talk about it when things are good. So many of the experiences you’ll read are when people are at their worst. Remember this- when people with OCD are feeling good, they’re not posting on Reddit. They’re living their life. They post when they feel hopeless. We’ve all been there. I’m not totally sure why I still get agoraphobia. I think it’s because my OCD is specific to it. It’s just become deeply ingrained in me. It’s something I have to work on. I dealt with so much DPDR that I would often feel like I needed to get away from a social situation because things would overwhelm me when I felt dreamy. It used to be so bad that I never left my room. I couldn’t even do basic things like grocery shop. Since then I’ve travelled the world and started a small business… so it’s possible to come a long way! The DPDR went away for many years for me. I had to decide to stop caring about it. Which is easier said than done! But eventually you will get bored and tired of it and it will become less scary and begin to go away. In my opinion (and many other people’s opinions) it’s a result of CPTSD. it’s a weird coping mechanism your brain uses to deal with high levels of anxiety. Unfortunately for us it causes more anxiety lol. Probably because we have a deep fear of losing control of ourselves. You ask how I cope with feeling like everything is made up… that’s still a work in progress! lol. I was fortunate to have a friend that went through the same thing as me with drugs. He actually died and was revived. When he came back he had severe DPDR. We spent a lot of time together and commiserated which made me feel not alone. When I saw your post I knew I had to respond because I know how scary it is to go through this alone. You really have to focus on living your life as you normally would and stop obsessing over feeling normal. You’re not going to feel normal today, tomorrow, etc. but you will feel normal in the near future. It takes time (unfortunately). For me it took about a year to start getting confidence back. But I’m trying to share to you my mistake of obsessing over it. It could take you much less time. Stay strong and expect setbacks. I didn’t stay encouraged through the process. I felt hopeless many times! In fact, I still do some days. But I’d rebound and keep going. I think I’m just hard headed. At a certain point I decided I’d rather try my best to live a worthwhile life rather than conceding to live a crappy life. I very much understand the fear of developing a scary mental illness from this. Truly, I understand. I felt exactly the same. Stay off of google! That will make it worse. But as every day comes and goes you’ll start to gain confidence back because you’ll realize you are okay. Feeling like nothing is real and nothing matters is very common too. I felt that way and it caused me to have major depression for a while. I would reminisce on my favorite memories that happened before I messed myself up and boy would that hurt. I’m not sure of your personal health situation, but for me exercise was the biggest medicine. The more active I became and the less I rotted in my room, the more I began to feel connected to reality again. I did take medication when I first developed DPDR after psychedelics. I took benzodiazepines which really only helped calm me down at first. But it didn’t allow me to grow through the trauma. I stopped pretty fast because of their addictive nature and I haven’t taken medication since. This was 13 years ago now. But yes, when you can you should talk to your doctor about that. Obviously I can’t diagnose you with OCD, as you need to see a professional for that. But if you do have it, it would be a good idea to look into ERP, which is what’s commonly used to treat OCD. When you’re going through a severely traumatic time, reassurance is good to settle you down. But eventually us folks with OCD try to seek reassurance too much and it stunts our growth. Eventually we need to exist with the uncertainty of our situation until it begins to become less and less scary. But for now I’d recommend to stay positive and keep fighting. You are real and things do matter, despite what your DPDR may make you fear.

@Daniel92 Thank you so much for all the replies and advice this was super helpful!! I’m trying to remain hopeful. This was really inspiring and I’m glad you’re okay. I’m hoping your flare up will get better❤️‍🩹

@BK97 🥹💕thank you so much for the insight. I’m so happy to hear you’re living a better life! Congratulations on the babies