College mornings and OCD

Im sure some of you can relate to this.. Mornings are especially difficult for me because I have a hard time preparing my food in a timely manner. I have to wash the coffee pot before each brew, make sure my utensils are clean, my food completely cooked. Sometimes something goes wrong in my routine and I have to start over. It gets frustrating when this morning routine makes me late for class. It feels terrible when OCD reaches for other parts of my life besides food. When it stays in its "realm" I feel better about it. ---I'm thinking about being honest with some of my professors about what's really going on. Any tips? Any advice for people like me who have a hard time with mornings?

JorgeMac2017

Date posted: 40w

Yeah, I would take to your therapist( if you have one first) about that. My wife recommended I get a letter from my therapist stating i was in therapy, and not over sharing what going through. This helps protector my job and also school. I got to say I am constantly late because of ocd so much so it became a habit after I’ve been on meds for at least 2 months. The ocd bas subsided but the habit is still there. I push it to the very last second because I feel or think I have to do x,y,z. I spoke to my boss about what was going on after it was very apparent I was struggling to make it in time to work. This did help a lot as I still have a set time to make it by but it’s not accommodating the ocd. My therapist said they didn’t like to do those accommodations because it inhibits the ocd. My best advice look towards where you want to be, and aim towards it where it’s making food the night before and being ready or preparing for the unexpected by adding 15 min to your routine. Remember it’s about progress not perfection. That’s always what you have to look for. Getting shit done without the perfect order. That was my biggest struggle, getting ready in the mornings. I would mess up my clothes in my drawers looking for the right clothes to wear that felt right. I would put clothes on then have a thought take it off put something else on and then take it off. My hole routine that would take me 5 min max would be 45 min now. I was super late a lot of the time and it was embarrassing. I’m learning now and the best thing to do to help is prepare myself beforehand. Prayer I got to say I sometimes would be late and prayed my hardest and made it in a timely manner. Lord knows I still struggle with timeliness. But I’m here to help as best I can if you need someone to talk to about it

kylee30

Date posted: 40w

Thank you for your comment! This is my first day here and I was nervous to share. I understand about the accommodation thing... I definitely would rather find ways to be on time instead of allowing myself to be late because of OCD. I will say that even though mornings are often difficult, they aren't Always difficult. So there is still hope. Another question... do you ever feel a weird sense of guilt when you try things to help your OCD brain? Like for me it would be things like meal prepping or writing dates on everything I buy from the grocery store ( so that I'm SURE it's not rotten) I know these things can be helpful, but sometimes I don't do them to feel "normal." It's like I'm telling myself to pretend it's not real and maybe it will go away lol

JorgeMac2017

Date posted: 40w

Yeah it’s a weird feeling I would get like oh no it happened last time but I won’t this time I’ll get it or I’ll remember. It was feeling like sabotage when I would not do what I needed to do. I’m here to support in any way

kylee30

Date posted: 40w

Yes! Like sabotage exactly. My partner often wonders why I do this. He is so helpful with encouraging me to do what future me will need. He often says "You just have to be more mindful about these things" I can get pretty careless and almost reckless with some things. Which seems counterintuitive since OCD is like overcaring about things.

Crook

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 24w

OCD in the morning

Each night I go to bed determined to stop compulsions and start beating this disorder. Then I wake up and it smacks me in the face first thing and I’m doing a compulsion before I know it. I told my therapist that I would try to handle it like we do in session, but I’ve already failed. It seems like I can’t bring ERP into my “real” life.

uncertain_Aly

Date posted: 21w

Does OCD impact your ability to get to work?

Often times I find myself spiraling out in the morning about all sorts of things. When I try and catch myself and figure out what I am obsessing over it’s like it goes away. I haven’t moved. I have been sitting frozen on the floor because I can’t go to work because I am behind on work and I hate being late and I hate being messy but I am frequently late and my room is cluttered and full of stuff. I want to be good and move and go to work but I don’t know what is coming today and I hate my job so I know I will get bored and when I have nothing to keep me busy and engaged I like start thinking and taking an inventory of what is going on and then I will feel a sensation and what is the sensation? How did it happen? And I know that I will pick up the bad emotions in the office and get contaminated, I was really worried about things like this as a kid too I cried because I had to touch dirt in kindergarten. I know I am this way and I have been this way for a while but at the same time I think I might just be normal and like I don’t know why I get stuck in thinking like this. Then I begin to doubt that OCD is real because everyone has a brain with wiring and everyone gets stuck in thought sometimes. I feel disabled from whatever this is because I am stuck. I literally cannot move because I don’t know what’s wrong and I know I have to go to work even though I feel like every moment I spend there is making everything worse because other people are so stressed and I get it from them. And I don’t feel ready because I just feel off and something is wrong and I just don’t know what to do because if it’s OCD or not OCD everything anyone knows about me is coming from me and I worry that I am often masking all the thinking I’m doing because thinking all the time is rude and inconsiderate and inconvenient for those around me, but I can’t stop. I just don’t feel right, right now - and I want to know WHY?? Why is everything off all the time? How do I even know that I am not making up the experience of OCD in my head to cover up something really wrong with me and now I am taking on the symptoms of OCD like an actress, because this could be something that I can latch onto as a final hope for explaining why I am stuck. So stuck so deeply and terribly stuck sitting on my floor next to my bed just scrolling to avoid thinking because any time I start thinking I am left with no answers or help or anything just this swirly feeling. I know I am trying, maybe not my best, but as much as I possibly can. I want to be a Special Education Teacher but I have so much so so so much doubt and uncertainty about every decision I make and everything I know that I can’t get there right now. I can’t do anything right now until it feels ok and then I will. It never feels ok. I know I have to be ok not feeling ok about it. I can be unsure and still be ok. I know it’s just my thinking and my body but I just can’t get past this feeling. And then I know that because I can calm myself and be ok even though I spent 2 hours of my life today already feeling stuck and spinning around and around and around in my head - I don’t feel sure about my OCD and I think it’s a bit of a scam made up by people to cultivate pathology around deep human thought because one day I might figure it out and we all think a lot.

Gmoki

Date posted: 18w

How do you manage OCD in school with avoidance?

I had avoided a lot with school specifically, but I did do it in other areas of life as well. School for some reason has been the biggest trigger that sends me into avoidance and it has been for the longest time. Does anybody relate? If so, what did you do to help besides therapy? In high school I used to sit in the bathroom stalls for hours so I could avoid going to classes. I was struggling to keep up because my OCD makes me perfect my school work so much so to the point where I’d never turn it in because I’d never be satisfied with what I’d produce. I’d get so incredibly frustrated with myself and the fact that I could never meet my own standards, never mind the rubrics given. I took ages analyzing all my writing, all my answers, all my google slides and I burnt myself out. So I stopped trying. I stopped turning in work because I’d never be satisfied. I’d cry because I felt I wasn’t good enough. Then I’d be missing assignments, getting them done but not submitting them because I was too ashamed. So, I avoided classes because I’d be in trouble or be called out for not getting anything done. Unfortunately this habit bled into my first year of college last year, and OCD coupled up with depression, made going to the dining hall and attending classes even worse. So I avoided it all together. It’s so hard being a freshman in college, so so hard. I unfortunately failed out of that school but I tried to medically withdraw either semester. No, I wasn’t partying, or drinking or smoking or hanging with the wrong people. I was a college freshman struggling with ocd and depression. I’m trying to not make excuses for myself either because I’m well aware this is my fault and I’m trying to reverse it now at community college. Right now I’m trying to get those Fs turned into Ws from my old school so I can fix my gpa. I want to transfer, I want to be a forensic psychologist, I want to be independent, I want to be ok. It’s gonna take me so long to transfer from community college but that’s on me. I’m willing to put in the work. I’m so embarassed, please help me.

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College mornings and OCD

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