OCD

One of my primary themes is “just right” OCD, paired with magical thinking. I don’t actually believe something bad will happen, but I feel like I deliberately make up scary, catastrophic thoughts like “xyz person will die” just to pressure myself into doing the just-right compulsion and relieve the anxiety. It’s like I use magical thinking as a tool, even though I know it’s irrational. Does this still count as magical thinking? Can anyone else relate?

I read about ERP and have seen information about it on here. One of the goals is to say, "maybe I am this or that...ect." That terrified me. The thoughts and images that go in my head are disturbing and upsetting. I don't want to even think about saying, "maybe this or that." It's devasting to have these thoughts and question why you're having these thoughts. Doesn't the "maybe" make it worse? The one thing that helps me is that is to remind myself that these are just thoughts and I know I'm not a monster, even if I feel like one. Is ERP not for everyone? Has anyone else had a problem with the techniques used in this kind of therapy? I had cognitive therapy for years with an OCD specialist and that seemed to help a lot. Writing out the worst case scenarios would make me suicidal. Im having a difficult time not obsessing over the "maybe" after intrusive thoughts now. It doesn't make it better.

I am extremely afraid to get pregnant because of these can anyone please help me. I have OCD, and it involves thought-action fusion. Because of my OCD, I struggle to logically understand how thoughts could turn into actions.What is meant by thoughts are thoughts only. I feel like my thoughts might turn into actions just because I think them in detail ( ex if i think something bad with detaily who meet accident then it will happen to my family also )Can thoughts really turn into actions if I think about them deeply? Can anyone please help me 🙏🙏😭