- Date posted
- 28w ago
Help
How can I tell the difference between suicidal ocd and suicidal thoughts?
How can I tell the difference between suicidal ocd and suicidal thoughts?
I have a theme of scared of depression, scared I will get it or already have it. I know it’s not 100% the same but it’s similar so here if u need it talk
@Anonymous Yes I do this !
@Anonymous This is bad for me today
@marlayna44 You worry about this too? Having / getting depression?
@camkkkkkk You worry about this too? Having / getting depression?
@Anonymous Yes!!!!! A LOT! A constant fear all the time!
I know I’m not suicidal because when I think about if I’m suicidal I freak out and cry and wanna wrap myself up in a ball. I also link to fear of becoming depressed, so when I overthink being depressed the suicidal ocd attaches and it goes down from there. Do you constantly have thoughts about not wanting to live anymore? Up first, I thought I was having real idealizations, but then I realized that the word suicide in general scared me. I am still stuck in a what if cycle, like what if I don’t love myself and want to end my life. But a good point was brought up to me the other day. She said most people don’t just become suicidal. It happens over time and is usually the only thing someone thinks about. I also learned that suicidal ocd can sound like “I will” statements. Idk if any of that helped.
@Anais V This is exactly how I feel. It haunts me 24/7 and it bothers me so much. It’s been 2 years ugh.
@Anais V With ocd and this subtype just like any other though , it could be the only thing that some one thinks about as well . It’s an obsession . I have suicidal ocd and feels like I obsess over it all day everyday ! But I don’t want to die (even though my brain is telling me otherwise ) and I also don’t think people that actually want to obsess over it like we do
@Walters15! Yeah it’s terrifying because I’m like well wait what if I do wanna hurt my self. Or what if I don’t really wanna be here. I think I also have existential ocd as well which makes it scarier when I get the suicidal ocd obsession.
@Anais V Yeah I’m sure that’s tough !! I’m sorry !! Praying for healing ❤️🩹
@Anais V Yes this is EXACTLY how I feel too. I have existential ocd as well , constant intrusive thoughts of death, but meanwhile I’m horrified of it but then it causes this constant loop of suicidal thoughts and it scares me because what if is this what I really want?
@Cgc7342 Right! Exactly!! It’s so up and down. And the thoughts are terrifying and make you question yourself which is even worse.
Yes
For me I’m afraid to kill myself or die but I obsessed over what if I did if my OCD told me too.
This is exactly how I’m feeling with both suicidal and existential ocd and it makes me question and doubt if I wanna die all the time and it actually makes me feel depressed which ocd then attacks and tries to tell me bc I feel this way or because ocd is making me feel this way, I’ll want to die or nothing matters. It literally makes me cry so much because I love my life so much. It’s sucks so bad. If anyone has any erp tips, please 🫶 also you are not alone 🫶
I haven't been officially diagnosed with OCD but when I learned more about it, I never related to anything more. A little back story: when I was younger, there were a couple of youth suicides in my area and the schools felt the need to have someone come in and talk about suicide. Well the person they had come in did a horrible job teaching it and basically made it seem like the smallest negative emotion or feeling or change in behavior made you suicidal. This ended up scaring me so much that I got horrid anxiety. Fast forward to now, Everytime I feel anxiety and panic, I fear I'm going to kill myself. Everytime I feel down and depressed, I fear I'll end it all. I'm scared to be around anything sharp because the "What if" I hurt myself comes into my mind. There are always intrusive thoughts at almost every point of the day. And it's not only for me. Everytime I hear someone being negative, I fear they will be suicidal. I know in my heart that none of this is true but it's terrifying me that it's stuck around so much that it makes me scared that maybe it is true. I've had a lot of death in my family in the past year and a half and a lot of other family drama that I'd never had before that is now also bringing up existential intrusive thoughts. And I'd never questioned anything about life before but now I get the "why is life like this?" and "does anything we do matter?" and I hate it. I don't want to think like that. I just want to go through life being able to handle things normally again. It terrifies me even right now going "what if you give up?"
I feel like there’s no way out of this. everyday i’m anxious and depressed from these thoughts. i feel like i have to constantly question if it’s OCD or not. the panic attacks are insane and i freak out. and a compulsion i have is looking eveything up on the internet when im stressing to know that it’s just my OCD and im not in danger. but looking things up add on to my thoughts and i start thinking “what if” actual suidcal people think. do others with this theme whenever they do something like if im taking a picture it’ll be like “yeah you look happy people will wonder what happened when your gone” LIKE i DO NOT want to end my life. or even as simple as cleaning my room, “yup keep it clean so when your family goes through your stuff” then i panic and can’t even do anything. those thoughts distress me so bad. i’ll sit there and think how good my life is or when im having a good day my thoughts will be like “NOPEEE what if your just saying that to convince yourself” it never shuts up and genuinely makes me think i have SI or something. i hope this reaches the right people just to know im not alone. Even when i do get better in the back of my mind it’s always “people who want to are the same a day before too” im genuinely scared and im scared one day im going to just snap and do it because its “too much” do i need to go to a mental hospital! i feel insane.
Can OCD mimic depression? With this theme I’m always wondering if I have OCD or depression. It first started out as harm OCD and now this. Today I told myself if I did have depression then it’s treatable and I would work on it. Then I started to feel depressed and emotional and like had an urge to google the difference. When I did this I just broke down because I felt like I related to them, it made me worse. However when I look up OCD symptoms it makes me feel better. So now I’m unsure. Almost like OCD wants me to believe it’s depression
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