Vent about HARM ocd pls reply. 👍🏻

Hello, I think it’s fairly obvious at the moment I am struggling with terrible harm related intrusive thoughts / harm ocd. I feel so distressed and anxious about these horrendous thoughts its to the point I’m crying out of panic or avoiding anything that may cause harm, but the thing is i have this horrible like “intrusive feeling” throughout my body that feels really strong despite my distress to the thoughts I just have this feeling of what if i snap throughout my body. I also feel whats severely effecting me is that if i did it like “What if I actually did it” “No but what if i did” “Anyone is capable of it” and then the feeling gets worse and stronger and it makes me even more anxious. I know it is Harm OCD but i feel so distressed so anxious even to the point im waking up in the middle of the night with horrid thoughts that distress me and i find it hard to sleep due to the feeling / thoughts. If anyone can relate to this I really hope you can reply, offering advice or sharing your experience because the worst part of Ocd is feeling abnormal and alone and this is what I am feeling and its hurting me so badly. I feel low , exhausted. 💕

ivrec

Date posted: 30w ago

You definitely have a lot to vent about. I have had harm OCD before much was know about OCD. I guess deep down inside I knew that I would not act on any of these thoughts but the fact that they kept coming up and the anxiety and guilt I had totally sucked. The “what if” thoughts are definitely OCD trying to keep you in the loop of trying to figure out if there is any validity to the thoughts. There is not. Avoiding things that triggers the thoughts makes your brain think these thoughts are important, they are not. Please get as much information on harm OCD to educate yourself on how to avoid making the symptoms worse. These thoughts bother you because you don’t like them and really who would. Most people who get an intrusive thought can just blow it off as untrue garbage and go about their day. Taking these thoughts and the anxiety they bring as important makes them stick. A good thing to do is to learn some techniques to relax and be focused in the present instead of always in your mind. You are not alone and you can see past the OCD tricks with practice.

Steven55!

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 30w ago

Carol, everything you're experiencing us textbook harm OCD. You are not alone. The good news is it's treatable. You didn't mention if you ate in therapy, but if you're not, please consider into getting into therapy with a trained OCD therapist who uses ERP therapy. You CAN recover. NOCD has a lot of good OCD therapists affiliated with them. Why not check it out.

Hannahmul

Date posted: 30w ago

You are not alone, I genuinely feel like I could have written this! I think the best thing you can do in low points like this is remember that you’ve had all these thoughts before and survived. And to carry on living life as if you don’t have OCD. Easier said than done I know! But getting the little things in order (good routine, spending time with friends and family, exercise etc) really does help. Sending you all the positive vibes! ❤️

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 30w ago

Nathan Peterson has some good Harm OCD videos. The one below is called “What if I Snap?” https://youtu.be/3aOjh_CPydc?si=jCtgiz3XCNFVufGP I’ll post another one also

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 30w ago

https://youtu.be/UHCtK_KWiSE?si=DtvvcAZTZb5GTCaY

Solrose

Date posted: 24w ago

Paranoia / Delusions. Please Read.

I know I shouldn’t be seeking reassurance as I know this just fuels OCD, but I really need to vent. I just continue to feel so alone with these thoughts and worries. I feel pathetic for writing about this again on here, but right now it’s just overwhelming feeling. I have posted on here before about this, but basically I continue to have thoughts that people are out to hurt me, including family members. I don’t even feel comfortable at home right now cause I get these thoughts and I feel so fearful/anxious of them. I’m terrified this is more than OCD and that these are actual delusions. It’s always just in the back of the mind the past few days and it’s exhausting. Feeling like I can’t trust others and not even myself. Plus it goes a long with my harm thoughts, because I thought “if my mom is trying to hurt me, I need to hurt her first as a way to protect myself!” And I just feel so much dread thinking that. Like I’m actually going to do it and it makes me depressed and panicky. Plus I picture all these different scenarios, like me being in the hospital, my life officially over, losing my job, etc. I’m thinking the absolute worst. I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist with OCD at 15 and have had flare ups over the years on/off, but at the beginning of this year it started my worst flare up yet and has just continued to persist. First started with health, then turned to my usual theme of harm, and now it’s harm/mixed with fear of psychosis. I try hard to just let the thoughts be, but the anxiety persists and the thoughts won’t go away. It makes me feel so uncomfortable and hard to concentrate on anything. I just want to know if this is OCD or delusional thinking. I feel like I need to know for sure, to know that I’m actually safe and that I’m not a danger. If the longer I wait, the more damage I’m actually doing to myself. Thank you to whoever reads this and relates or responds. I appreciate this community and how open-minded and open-hearted you all are. This disorder is horrible how it makes us doubt and question everything.

carol.xxx

Date posted: 22w ago

Please reply Im terrified need you guys.

HARM OCD VENT. I feel Terrified. I am so scared that I am going to act on a terrible harm ocd intrusive thought on someone else. The idea, the sensations the urges terrify me because it feels so scarily real. I feel like im a horrible person - a danger and i’m so guilty for having intrusive thoughts. I hate knives, I avoid looking at them in real life, in the kitchen as i’m so terrified that i will do sone thing terrible. I get excited when my boyfriend cones round as i always think he knows about my thoughts so at least he would restrain me if i were to do anything bad. I just feel so scared so guilty. I have this horrible sensation of urge running through my body- currently im on the verge of tears- i feel lost. My ocd has even latched onto pumpkin carving - scared i will do something bad. Now my OCD is just being like “ maybe your avoiding is all fake and your trying to cover your a bad person” “ what if u actually want to “. “ I want to “ “ You arnt actually trying to hard from harmful objects “ its TERRIFYING. please may someone reply - I’m terrified right now its like an intrusive FEELING is in my body. Sorry guys. I NEED reassurance at this point, I don’t know what to do.

Harm OCD

carol.xxx

Date posted: 13w ago

flare up please respond

Hey guys, I am having the worst HARM OCD episode I have had in a while. I am having disgusting, awful intrusive thoughts about harming others. It feels so real. It feels as if I am about to get up and just do it. The worst bit about it all Is I know I feel distressed and panicked. But where the thoughts are actually happening ( in my head) doesnt feel this feeling. This is making it feel worse as it really does feel like Im just going to do it. I am crying my eyes out because I know im petrified and dont want to hurt anyone im so scared. I have this terrible intrusive feeling in my that feels like its justifying the thoughts. Please can someone talk as I am scared Im crying I dont want know what to do I want this feeling gone I am so scared. I tell myself Id kill myself before hurting anyone else, but would i ? What if I actually do want to kill Please respond Im so scared

Harm OCD

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Vent about HARM ocd pls reply. 👍🏻

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