marcygirl23
- Date posted
- 48w
Suicidal OCD
Having a really bad day. OCD recovery feels impossible. Can’t tell if I’m suicidal. Anything helps
B4ll_Tongue26B4ll_Tongue26
- Date posted
- 48w
I get suicidal ocd a lot and I understand how hard it is. I struggle with thinking if I'm suicidal or not. But if it's stressing you out pretty bad it's ocd. Hope it gets better for you!
marcygirl23marcygirl23
- Date posted
- 48w
@Claudio. It’s so distressing. Hoping it will improve just got into an IOP
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 48w
I felt like that a few weeks ago. I felt I could not distinguish reality from the distortions in my mind and it made me feel worthless. Today, only a few sessions later, I had a nearly anxiety free day. Things get better, sometimes much better in a very short time. Everyone’s progression is different but something that helped me was reaching out to my brother, and to my therapist. Your thoughts may feel unspeakable, but if you have someone whose willing to listen without judgement, it can really help to speak with them. Even if you don’t go into details and just tell them that you’re in distress, the empathy and support you
Endlessly PonderingEndlessly Po...
- Date posted
- 48w
@Anonymous What did you do in your sessions that helped so much?
marcygirl23marcygirl23
- Date posted
- 48w
@Anonymous Thanks for the comment. I have a wonderful support system which is a blessing
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 48w
I’m sorry if this is a lot. Sometimes small tweaks can help a lot. If you have a therapist you can talk to you can work out a good course of action for you
philofelistphilofelist
- Date posted
- 48w
if the thought gives you lots of anxiety & distress, it’s likely to be OCD. good luck 💜
marcygirl23marcygirl23
- Date posted
- 48w
@philofelist Hard to remember and understand sometimes when you’ve never been truly suicidal. But it does help. Thank you
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 48w
Get can really go a long way
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 48w
What helped the most I think was identifying the core fears attached to my intrusive thoughts. At first I was responding the same way to every intrusive thought with the same response—something like I don’t know if that’s true or not. This was helpful but there seems to be a better way. There are deep seated fears associated with each intrusive thought. If you can write a response prevention message (the thing you say in your head to respond to the thought) that fits the overarching fear you can “attack the thoughts at the source”. I had/have intrusive thoughts about being a pedophile and sexually assaulting my girlfriend. The underlying fear for both of these was that I am really a deeply evil person and had somehow tricked myself into believing I was good. Now my responses for both of these intrusive themes are something like “I may or may not be a deeply evil person” or “I may or may not have deceived myself into thinking I’m a good person”.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 48w
@Anonymous I have also had intrusive thoughts about my sexuality. I found out that I am actually less afraid of being gay than I am of lying to myself for 21 years about my sexuality. The response “I may or may not know who I am” is broader and scarier than something like “I may or not be attracted to my coworker”.
NasheNashe
- Date posted
- 48w
You are not alone. I struggle with suicidal ocd every day due to my past. We got this!
marcygirl23marcygirl23
- Date posted
- 48w
@Nashe Thanks for the support. Here for you as well!
marcygirl23marcygirl23
- Date posted
- 44w
@Nashe How are you doing?
Related posts
cows12465
- Date posted
- 24w
please advice please!!!!
I feel like there’s no way out of this. everyday i’m anxious and depressed from these thoughts. i feel like i have to constantly question if it’s OCD or not. the panic attacks are insane and i freak out. and a compulsion i have is looking eveything up on the internet when im stressing to know that it’s just my OCD and im not in danger. but looking things up add on to my thoughts and i start thinking “what if” actual suidcal people think. do others with this theme whenever they do something like if im taking a picture it’ll be like “yeah you look happy people will wonder what happened when your gone” LIKE i DO NOT want to end my life. or even as simple as cleaning my room, “yup keep it clean so when your family goes through your stuff” then i panic and can’t even do anything. those thoughts distress me so bad. i’ll sit there and think how good my life is or when im having a good day my thoughts will be like “NOPEEE what if your just saying that to convince yourself” it never shuts up and genuinely makes me think i have SI or something. i hope this reaches the right people just to know im not alone. Even when i do get better in the back of my mind it’s always “people who want to are the same a day before too” im genuinely scared and im scared one day im going to just snap and do it because its “too much” do i need to go to a mental hospital! i feel insane.
frannyb
- Date posted
- 17w
I can't do this anymore
I can't live with OCD anymore. It's ruining my life. I feel like I'm being constantly bullied in my own mind all day everyday. I don't know if what I think and feel is ever real or normal or okay, what is me and what is the OCD thoughts. I don't know if any of my experiences are normal. I'm exhausted from picking apart every single conversation I ever have with anyone until I'm strung out by a vague and ambiguous feeling of guilt. I'm tired of feeling like I'm a bad person and feeling scared all the time and not knowing why and having my brain spin me out on an endless spiralling train of thoughts that never goes anywhere and just makes me feel disconnected from everything and everyone around me. I don't know what I feel and if what I feel is normal or if anything I am doing is real and actually me or if I'm 'losing my mind.' I don't even know if this makes any sense. I get into these states of mind where every thought in my head and everything I feel and perceive makes me question my own sanity. I don't know if anyone likes me because I have absolutely no concept of what I am actually like. I feel completely lost and confused CONSTANTLY.
nevieocal
- Date posted
- 13w
Can someone please help me?
I think when people are saying OCD is egodystonic is really triggering me and I was just wondering if this has happened to anyone else? I’m going through a really bad relapse and right now I’m trying to figure out if my thoughts are truly egodystonic, like I how do I know I won’t act on them, how can I trust my emotions and everything. I feel really confused and I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore or how I carry on with life because it’s so long and I’m so unsure of everything that’s going on in my head. Like how do I know that this is OCD and true desires/urges. I’m so confused.
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