Suicidal thoughts

I can't live with OCD anymore. It's ruining my life. I feel like I'm being constantly bullied in my own mind all day everyday. I don't know if what I think and feel is ever real or normal or okay, what is me and what is the OCD thoughts. I don't know if any of my experiences are normal. I'm exhausted from picking apart every single conversation I ever have with anyone until I'm strung out by a vague and ambiguous feeling of guilt. I'm tired of feeling like I'm a bad person and feeling scared all the time and not knowing why and having my brain spin me out on an endless spiralling train of thoughts that never goes anywhere and just makes me feel disconnected from everything and everyone around me. I don't know what I feel and if what I feel is normal or if anything I am doing is real and actually me or if I'm 'losing my mind.' I don't even know if this makes any sense. I get into these states of mind where every thought in my head and everything I feel and perceive makes me question my own sanity. I don't know if anyone likes me because I have absolutely no concept of what I am actually like. I feel completely lost and confused CONSTANTLY.

I’m at the lowest I’ve been I’m in just declining. First time in my life where the thought of ending it popped into my mind. I’m not going to but that’s just how bad it’s gotten. Should I tell someone I know and trust about my mental health battle

Intrusive thoughts are unwanted and cause stress which mine do but also when I’m mad I get this rage feeling and say I wanna stab someone like that feels like a. Want not intrusive why am I saying “ I wanna “ :(