Trip people

Can harm ocd thoughts appear like “i want” or “im going to” someone please lmk if they experienced this 😣

So I was sitting on a swivel chair and someone stood extremely close to me and I had a thought of what if I move the chair a bit towards their body and usually I move away from them quickly but this time I didn’t for some reason I felt the need to move the chair a tiny bit so I moved it an inch and right before I moved it I had a thought of, I never actually move the chair but the time I’m gonna do it and I was watching the arm of the chair to see if I could move it and I moved it a tiny bit and right before I did it felt like I wanted to it felt like I morphed into someone evil it felt like I was excited now my OCD is making me think I have a fucking paraphilia smh I can’t deal with this anymore

I sit on a swivel chair sometimes and when people get too close to me I move the chair away from them cause I don’t wanna go crazy and move it towards their groin. But one time someone was super close to the swivel chair like they were making contact with it and I had a thought of what if I move it towards their body and I felt the need to move the chair an inch towards them and so I moved it quickly and without hesitation and idk why like I must be crazy tbh. There is also this vague sense of wrongness attached to the memory. It is present right before the movement. It almost feels like I remember thinking an evil thought or having bad intentions but just don’t really remember. I try to prevent stuff from happening but this time I snapped I guess. Also I wasn’t anxious at all until afterwards. I was in a good mood at the time. I know OCD can cause urges but it feels like I remember turning bad/evil before I did it. Idk anymore. I just can’t live like this anymore. I’m terrified of myself