STD contamination fears

I've never had COVID until now. I've tried so hard to avoid it. My family all got it first and I have a baby. We stayed away from the others as much as possible, even had my husband and other kid stay somewhere else, but it was too late and the baby got it and I had to take him to the ER for a 106 fever, and then I got sick from him and I am very sick, and I know the virus is everywhere in, on, and around me, and I don't know how I will ever survive knowing I can't possibly get rid of it from everything. I had to go to the ER for heart symptoms from my illness and they did lots of tests but I'm just very sick. I bet my anxiety was giving me heart palpitations. This really feels like my worst nightmare. Even after I'm better, how can I disinfectant every single thing, the carpets, my baby's stuff, so I'm not worried about infecting other people or even about just having the virus on me? I know it can't make me sick again but it's the contamination that kills me.

I noticed I’ve been posting a lot these past few weeks. I just hate my brain and been having a lot of ocd I’m very picky who I’m intimate with. I also have a strong fear of stds/hiv very heavily. I am afraid of lots of things but I can’t live in fear so I decided to engage in intimacy last night. (TMI) I thought the condom popped, but when he showed me it was closed and sealed but my ocd brain is thinking some of it ripped. Now I know that you have to expose yourself to situations that threaten you. I also noticed that I beat myself up heavy when I do an exposure and im still paranoid and then become grateful I’m so tired of my brain and not being able to enjoy anything sometimes: I sometimes feel like leaving this earth.

I don't know what to do, my hands have become so numb and bruised because of constant washing hands, i have started hating each and every furniture around me, beacuse i feel they are not clean although they are being cleaned regularly but i cannot stop these thoughts. I clean my phone, bluetooth, charger with wet wipes each day, i don't touch any object around me, i am not being able to focus on my studies or anything else because of my ocd ihave stopped going out, everyone around me is so fed up of me. I have consulted so many therapists and been taking ayurvedic supplements too but nothing works. It is getting worse and worse, please if anybody can suggest me how to overcome these thoughts!