Loneliness

My partner is away this week. What’s more, my period is coming up and my ocd always gets worse because of hormones. Even in the best of circumstances, I deal with feelings of loneliness and intrusive thoughts about loneliness, being a bad friend and being a bad person. I have friends, some lifelong ones even, but I never quite feel whole. Or like it’s enough. Or if I feel good while hanging out, the loneliness creeps in after I leave the hang and ocd tells me to review everything I said (I have gotten better at resisting this compulsion). The hard thing is that this loneliness makes it harder to reach out to friends or even strike up conversations with random people I might see in my day to day. Ocd tells me terrible things when I feel lonely and it’s hard to not believe those terrible things. Anyone else go through this? Any tips on exposures? I’ve reached out to two close friends just letting them know I feel down. I booked an extra therapy appt just because the feelings are intense and my partner is away. I was planning to go to a support group if the timing works out. Just feels really hard to do anything, like a big slog, but I’m just kind of dragging myself along. Thanks for reading.

Username: Sarah CSarah C

Date posted: 37w ago

I had that feeling of uncertainty for a long time when it comes to relationships. I learned that overtime people are there for a good time and not a long time and those who are there for a long time are the ones that are there through thick and thin. However, in the end of the day we are the ones that are truly there for ourselves and no one is going to fight this but ourselves. Even when we feel like we are alone, I always tell myself that we have our mind, soul, and heart to accompany us and they are our true friends that always look out for us. They are the ones that we need to take care of. We come to this world alone and we leave alone and when we have finally grasped that, then we have finally learned acceptance. I hope that helps. I’m praying for you to get well and to all of us that are battling this alone. Personally, I always feel alone with OCD because I feel like no one can understand my theme and I have something that may not be treatable and no one in my life understands. You are truly not alone my friend. :)

Username: ListenToTheWindListenToTheWind

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 37w ago

Sounds like you need some rest but also easy things to do. To keep your attention. Can you relax and do self care in some way? (Paying bills, doing a face mask, making your favorite meal)? Sometimes you need a break before your period AND you have intrusive thoughts. Finding a way to allow for rest but still be engaged with things you need to be is key. For a while I wasn’t allowing rest because of the thoughts and the idea that if I stopped and relaxed I might make things worse. Country that exposure. Do nothing alone and just take care of yourself. It might be kinda hard. But worth it even if it’s ucomfortable. Show your brain you don’t need to be sure of anything in that relationship because you’re okay, and more than that - taking care of your physical needs ahead of your period is more important than ruminating.

Username: monica<3

Date posted: 24w ago

ocd is controlling my life

hey everyone. i’m not sure if this app will help me or not, but i feel the need to try anything because i can’t keep living like this. i struggle with obsessing over everything in my life. it feels like everyday my brain picks a new thing in my life to obsess over. for the past couple days ive been obsessing over my interpersonal relationships. for example; “do i like the people im with” “do i like my friends as more than just friends” “do i actually love these people or am i lying to everyone”. it’s been really messing with me and making me question my support system. i can’t stop stressing. i’m even afraid to talk about it with my therapist because i have those thoughts about her too. i’m new to my OCD diagnosis (got diagnosed last month) i was hospitalized for a week because i couldn’t function. i also obsess over my sexuality and nothing i pick for me ever feels quite right. i recently started a relationship with someone who’s trans, so maybe that’s why? does anyone else go through this? my brain tries to convince me that i do this to myself and that im making it all up. but who would want to feel this way? uggghhh

Username: daltonb.971

Date posted: 24w ago

Lonliness & OCD

It seems to me, that, OCD really flares up in times of idle, lonliness, boredom, etc. Perhaps its a result of lacking hobbies during down-time - too much time to just think. I'm a university student and it always seems to be the worst during the break periods like summer and winter break. I'm in a weird spot where the OCD feels normal and doesn't really bother me, but does at the same time. I don't find myself consumed by fear so much anymore, but more annoyed and frustrated at the presence of OCD thoughts. I experience religious OCD mostly, and yesterday I was less fearful and more just genuinely angry that I was having thoughts about hell and the afterlife. So it still feels like it can consume me at times, but I suppose ERP is also working in stopping the fear response. Perhaps, the anger I'm experiencing nowadays comes from being too hard on myself and impatient. I'm not sure. I'd love to know the community's thoughts on this.

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 23w ago

Anyone else drowning lately ?

I’ve been dealing with a terribly overwhelming bout of OCD for a few months now, possibly the worst I’ve ever had in my 12 years of having it; which is what led me here. I’ve always had doubts in my long term relationship, but none that have been quite this vicious, making me question my sense of safety with this sweet man who has ALWAYS made me feel safe and comfortable. It picks on every aspect of our relationship, and any moment it can to make me question if he’s actually secretly a bad person. This thing has a chokehold on me and it is so scary and debilitating, especially with it targeting something I care so deeply about. And now weeks into therapy, I almost feel that unpacking it is making me feel worse and my OCD is finding all sorts of new things to pick on. Any comforting words would be appreciated… I’m trying really hard to work through this.

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