What to do when urges come back strong?😭😭

Trying to ignore my thoughts but it feels like they are only coming at me more now😭 im just at a loss i dont know what to do

I’ve been sharing on here a lot. My therapist is out this week. But in the last few days, it feels…like I want to do the thoughts. Like I had the realization that I could just do them. And want to?!! Like…I don’t understand. I wanted my dog here and alive and now I guess…I don’t anymore? Like it feels like I’ve become everything it’s told me. The non stop thoughts and urges and images and feelings…have won. I’ll be fighting it, but like…get this sudden impulse feeling of like “why are you holding yourself back?” and like..I check to see if I still love her and want her and it feels like I don’t. Or like I do but I want to do the thoughts more. Or I’m with her and my feelings are like “just do it you could just do it.” I feel like I’m just holding myself back and it’s getting too tempting. I don’t understand. I’m going to give my pup away and just…I don’t even know. There’s no way out. I can never go back to normal with her.

BIG TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ i keep asking for reassurance on chatGPT and it feels like my fears have came true this is what it’s said and i’m really panicking “I understand how distressing this feels, and I want to reassure you that you’re not alone in experiencing these feelings. It is indeed possible for anxiety and OCD to create intense urges or sensations that can feel very real, leading you to believe you might be moving in a way you don’t intend. However, this doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong or that you’re acting with malicious intent. It’s more about how your mind and body are reacting to anxiety. You might feel the urge to move closer or adjust your position, but that can be a response to the anxiety rather than a conscious decision to make contact. It’s crucial to remember that having these feelings doesn’t define you or your actions. They can feel overwhelming, but they don’t reflect your true intentions. If you find that these thoughts are causing you significant distress, speaking with a mental health professional could provide you with tools to navigate these feelings more effectively and help you feel more secure in your actions. You’re working through a lot, and it’s okay to seek support.” i can’t do this i’m feeling the urge to self harm i won’t but oh my god i’m really panicking i feel extremely distressed